Worth a Try

“Where is she?”

Ren didn’t even look up at his uncle from his seat at the kitchen table, instead choosing to keep his head tilted down and away. “I don’t know.”

“Bullshit, boy. Don’t you lie to me.” Raz observed the chair that had been knocked over away from the table next to the boy and the blood-soaked rags that lay abandoned. “Look at you. Nose and lip all busted up. She did that to you, and you’re still going to protect her?”

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair before looking up at the man, his swollen and bruised face on full display. “She took off awhile ago. I don’t know where she went. And it wasn’t her fault. I only caught her elbow a couple times.”

A groan rumbled from the elder angel, having heard similar stories before. “It’s her fault, alright.” He stalked across the cottage to Ren’s bed and reached under, his fingers wrapping around a calf that didn’t belong and he pulled the girl out and dangled her upside down in front of him. “Oh, look, I found her.”

Sakura yelped and covered her face with her hands as the skirt of her dress fluttered towards her chin. Every muscle froze, a pitiful attempt at avoiding the punishment that was certain to come.

“At least you wore your shorts today.” Raz remarked at the black shorts covering the girl’s bottom, grateful for any silver lining he could get. The seamstress hadn’t known what to make of the man when he requested the garment be specially made for the girl, having never made anything like that for a girl before. He had created the design based off of sheer desperation—fabric that was skintight yet flexible that could move with her without catching and tearing on every obstacle. The girl wasn’t so little anymore, but her sense of tact had failed to mature with the rest of her, and he needed something to prevent her from showing off what was hidden under her skirt to half the village whenever she got in the mood to fight, or climb trees, or practice her back handsprings.

Unfortunately, today’s visit had resulted in a fight.

Another one.

And though it wasn’t surprising, it wasn’t any the less frustrating.

“Let’s go.” The man slung the girl over his shoulder and made his way to the front door, pointing at the boy who was pushing his chair back to stand. “You stay.” Out the door he went with the fox and across the yard to the path leading to the mountains. If the girl wanted a fight, then he’d let her have one. “Care to venture a guess on whose mothers gave me a good scolding today in the village?” he asked as they proceeded into the narrowing valley and made their way into the range.

“Seriously?” she grumbled. “Tattling on me like a bunch of children.”

“Whether or not they said anything, it’s obvious who did it. Who else would it be? You’re getting too old to keep picking fights and those boys were a lot older than you. Nearly men. You’re gonna get yourself hurt one of these days.”

The girl snorted, pompous even in the awkward state she was in. “Yeah right. I’d like to see that.”

Raz sighed and rubbed his forehead with his free hand. It was hard arguing with the girl when she was right. Even though she was only thirteen, she had always possessed an ungodly strength that was only a few years away from rivaling his own, and a couple more after that to surpass it. Paired with a hair-trigger temper and a stubborn, unwilling to submit personality, she was nearly invincible. Never had the man known anyone with even close to the same strength that she had, and where she kept it bottled up in her skinny body was a mystery.

The only person who could compete with the girl was Ren, largely in part due to becoming accustomed to and building a tolerance to her daily attacks. If he hadn’t learned to toughen up and carefully follow her movements at such a young age, he would undoubtedly be in the same position as all the other village boys, bloodied and beaten on the ground.

Though, sometimes he still ended up that way.

The girl was, without question, a formidable force to be reckoned with. But still, even if she won every fight she got herself into, it was still irritating as all hell having to deal with the nagging aftermath.

“You don’t need to see it,” Raz said. “You don’t need to be fighting at all. I know damn well they didn’t start it, so why are you?”

Sakura was silent, her body bouncing on the older angel’s shoulder with every step. He wasn’t sure if she was going to respond, but after some time she did. “They were talking about Ren.”

That was no surprise.

“What does it matter?” he asked. “A lot of people talk about Ren. They’ll always talk about him. You need to get over it. Stop sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong.”

“They don’t even know him!” she argued, her temper growing. “They’ve never talked to him. They don’t even look him in the eye. But they’ll stand there and give him nasty looks and say awful things about him behind his back. I’m tired of it!”

She wasn’t the only one who was tired.

“Those boys didn’t even say anything to him, did they? Just whispered amongst themselves.” The girl didn’t answer him, and that was answer enough. “That fucking hearing of yours,” Raz growled. “You need to learn to let it go. You can’t keep jumping to his defense. He needs to learn how to deal with this shit himself, not let you deal with it for him.”

“He didn’t let me do anything!” she argued, continuing to defend the boy. “I did it myself!”

“Yeah, you did. And you busted up his face yourself.” The man could feel her body go slack, her will to fight weakening.

“I didn’t mean to,” Sakura mumbled quietly. “It was an accident. I didn’t realize it was him behind me.”

“That’s your problem. You don’t realize what’s going on around you when you let that temper of yours get the better of you.” He grabbed the back of Sakura’s dress, pulled her from his shoulder, and set her on the ground at the base of the mountain with the tallest peak. Even though Raz was well acquainted with the girl’s destructive behavior, it was still hard to wrap his mind around it when he looked at her. She always appeared so innocent with her expressive green eyes, illuminating smile, and lovely face that could rival an angel’s. Looks that would only become more alluring and deceptive as she got older.

No one would ever suspect something so vicious from something so precious.

It’s part of what made her so dangerous.

The girl looked ashamed of herself, her head tilted down as she peeked up at the angel with remorse. “I’m sorry, Raz.”

“Sorry doesn’t mean anything if nothing ever changes. Let’s go.”

She followed the man as he began the hike up the mountain. “Where are we going?”

“To kill pests.”

“But I don’t have any daggers.”

“Has that ever stopped you before?”

There was no response, only a mischievous smile as she rushed ahead.

Nothing was said as the two trekked further up the mountain, the girl bypassing the lower living, docile pests in search for the more menacing ones that thrived in the thinner, cooler air higher up. She paused, her ears and nose twitching, before leading the man to a creature he’d never seen before. It was a bizarre combination of crystal scales and downy feathers, a stocky body with thick legs and feline-like head with fangs too long for it’s massive mouth. It stood between two tall pines, buffing its scales against the rough bark as some mussed feathers were pulled free to float to the ground.

Sakura stopped, looking between the pest and Raz with hesitance.

“What?” he asked quietly as not to alarm the pest. “Are you actually asking for permission? Are you sick? Should we head back?”

She chewed her cheek for a moment, not quite sure what the man’s reasoning was but not wanting to spend too long questioning it. Without a word, she raised her knee and stomped her foot on the ground over and over until the beast turned their way. It snarled, a magenta saliva dripping down its jowls and fangs as the scales rose to standing, creating a series of frills along its body that made it nearly twice as large.

Maybe this hadn’t been a good idea.

“You think you can kill this one?” The man watched the pest rear up on its hind legs, a furious yowl emitting into the sky, regretting not grabbing his glaive before leaving the cottage.

But the girl was already gone, sprinting to the pest and tumbling under it, her hands grasping onto the scales on its back and climbing it as easily as the aspens she had maneuvered up when she was small. It twisted its head towards her, roaring and snapping at her face.

The action was natural, as involuntary as blinking, as Sakura reached out and latched her hand around the longest of the pest’s fangs and ripped it from its jaw like plucking an apple from a tree. Before it could even cry out in pain, it was plunged through the top of its skull and the beast poofed into a translucent display of petals that rained down on the girl. With a smile that lit up her face, she scooped a handful of the remains and skipped over to Raz, holding the offering up to him. “Look, Raz! Look how pretty they are!”

He pinched a single petal between his fingers and observed it, a silky teardrop that was like frost on glass. “They are. No need to take those with you. You have enough stuck in your hair. Let’s go.” He turned and walked off while she hurried to follow.

“Now where are we going?” the girl asked, ready for her next surprise.

“Home.”

Her face fell, her high hopes that she’d be allowed to kill more pests dashed. But she’d been able to kill one, and that in and of itself was quite odd considering the situation that brought them up to the mountains in the first place. “Why did you bring me up here instead of scolding me and making me do extra chores like you always do?”

Raz thought on it since he hadn’t given it much thought to begin with. “I guess I just got tired of scolding and making you do extra chores. Not like it ever makes any difference. You don’t listen either way. I thought that maybe, if I changed my response, then you might change yours. It’s a long shot, but still worth a shot. Wouldn’t you say?”

Sakura shrugged. “Maybe.”

“I know you don’t think so, but you and I are a lot alike. I see a lot of who I used to be in you.”

The girl was slightly offended by the statement. “But I’m not grouchy.”

He couldn’t argue with that.

“No, you’re not.” He glanced down at the girl who stared at him intently, trying to figure him out. “But you’re angry. Always. Just as I was.”

It was a rare occurrence for Raz to talk about himself, and Sakura wanted to take advantage while she could. “Why were you angry?”

“Same reason you are. Because I had been hurt, and I was hurting. I understand your anger, but lashing out isn’t going to solve your problems. Sure, you hurt them, and I bet that made you feel a little better at the time. But you also hurt Ren, and you’ll continue to do so until you learn to control that temper of yours. Next time, it might not be just a busted nose. It could be worse. Something you can’t fix with rags and apologies.”

The girl was quiet as she considered what he said. The man may have had a point, but she had little interest in his lecture when something more interesting had been brought up. “Who hurt you?”

“People long gone who weren’t worth me tearing myself apart over. Just like each and every one of those boys and the foxes of the den aren’t worth you doing the same.”

“Who hurt you?” Sakura asked again.

She never was one to give up.

Perhaps he should give her something.

Raz breathed in deeply and expelled all the air from his lungs, the confession going with it. “My father. My mother. The Kingdom.” He paused. “Someone I trusted. But it’s nothing in comparison to how I’ve hurt them.”

“Are you still angry?”

“No.” He was just sad. So very, very sad. “I couldn’t hold onto anger when Ren came to me. When you came to me. I had to let it go in order to be able to raise you two the way you deserved. Though, I can’t say I’ve done a proper job thus far. I try, but it can be difficult to give something I never received.”

The girl looked down at her feet, watching as one foot overtook the other, before spinning in front of the man and wrapping her arms tightly around him. “I love you, Raz,” she said softly. “I know you won’t say it back but thank you for loving me. You didn’t have to.”

He didn’t.

But he did.

Because from the first time she looked at him, so small and precious, she stole that choice away from him.

He stared down at her, wondering just when that scared, little girl had become a confident, young lady. Where all that time had gone. When had things changed so much that they were to the point that she was comforting him rather than the other way around? He knew what he should say. And he wanted to.

But the girl was right.

He wouldn’t.

Because he still couldn’t.

But maybe one day.

“We should go before Ren starts thinking I dumped your body somewhere up here.”

She nodded and peered up at him, emeralds so bright and hopeful. “Will you carry me?”

“Are you serious?”

Her nodding intensified.

The man sighed. “Get on.”

No time was wasted as Sakura hurried behind the angel and climbed onto his back, her arms wrapping around his shoulders in a warm embrace as he continued down the mountain. “Remember when you used to let me sit on your shoulders?” The hint of a suggestion lingering in the air.

“Don’t push it.”

She grumbled but accepted what she could get.

They came off of the mountain and into the valley, following the trail back home. As they came closer to the cottage, the demon’s ears perked up at the sight of the boy working in the garden. She scurried from the man’s back and rushed forward.

“Sakura,” Raz called, stopping her in her tracks. “I know you don’t like what they say about Ren, but do you think you can try to ignore it? Let some of that anger go?”

The girl looked at Ren who had noticed their return and was walking towards them before turning back to Raz with the brightest of smiles on her face. So sweet. So innocent. So deceptive. “No.”

A groan came from the man while watching her bound off to the boy, reaching for his swollen face as he waved her off without a care.

Well…

At least he had tried.