Chapter 1

My favorite part of city life is riding the train.

Part of the appeal is the scenery, another part is the variety of stations you can stop at. But I think what appeals to me the most is knowing how many different people can ride the same train, leading all different kinds of lives. Sometimes when I’m bored, I try to come up with possible scenarios for my fellow passengers. It could make for a good story.

Today the train car is packed with all kinds of passengers. I was lucky enough to snag a seat earlier, but I gave it up to an older lady with a heavy-looking handbag. Besides, I prefer standing closer to the window to watch the city lights.

It’s nearly dark out, with everyone rushing home from either work or class. My tote bag thumps against my side, filled to the brim with books. (One of the many perks of working in a library.) I don’t have many plans for tonight, aside from a quick convenience store dinner and some quiet reading time beneath my two sherpa blankets. But honestly, that’s my ideal kind of night.

My gaze wanders around the train car, surveying the different passengers squished inside. The elderly lady sits politely with her handbag placed in her lap. A pair of students sit side by side, each with a textbook in their hands. A small boy points out the window, speaking softly to a girl next to him—most likely his younger sister. Closest to me stands a couple, with the young man standing in front of his girlfriend as she reads a worn paperback. He’s got one arm stretched between her and the side of the door, to protect her from any oncoming passengers that may be boarding or switching cars.

Maybe they’re a new couple just getting used to each other, and they’ve only been seeing each other for a few months. Perhaps they’ve been friends for years, or maybe even a couple for years, maybe since high school or something. Or maybe they aren’t actually a real couple yet, and the boy is silently pining for the girl. Too nervous to confess his feelings, but willing to show it in other ways, like shielding her from the rest of the crowd while she reads.

I hide my smile in one of my own books, a Christmas-themed romance with fluff, kisses, and a supporting cast of kittens. I might only have three days left to read it, but that doesn’t bother me. I’ve got a whole night of reading ahead of me.

Within moments the train stops, and a few people slip out through the open doors. The couple remains, the girl still engrossed in her book. As the train moves again, I turn the page of my own. Two stations left and it’ll be my stop.

Maybe after Christmas I’ll go down to Yokohama again. Sayaka mentioned wanting to visit again for some shopping, she hasn’t stopped talking about it to us. Naomi should be home by then, too; I’ll have to put aside some money for the trip. I already have to head to Kyoto this weekend for Christmas, so I have to plan accordingly.

The thought of going back to Kyoto, even for just a few days, is enough to sour my mood. For the rest of the train ride I stare out the window, mindlessly counting the city lights.

Finally the train pulls into Shinagawa station. I glance at the couple one last time—Enjoy your book, love—before disembarking. I slip my book back into my tote bag and head for the end of the platform. It’s too busy to pick out the different kinds of people among the crowd; it’s not a pastime I can do on the fly, anyway.

I’ve lived in Shinagawa for about three years now, to my parents’ displeasure. It’s a far cry from our traditional family home in Kyoto, but I’ve loved every second of it. My mother doesn’t like the thought of me living so far away from everyone else, but she makes her peace with it—on the condition I call or text her every other day with updates on how I’m faring.

The streets are well lit tonight; it’s hard not to admire the sights, despite the chilly breeze in the air. The walk home is fairly pleasant, capped off with a quick and easy stop for dinner at the convenience store close to home.

I live on the twelfth floor of an apartment complex; the rent is a little tight but it’s comfy to live in—and the balcony’s a nice addition, too. Between my library job and my night shifts at the convenience store, I manage to make it work.

Contrary to popular belief, I’m perfectly content with my little lonely life.

There’s no better feeling than knowing I have my own space. A space to call home, with just me, myself and I. No noisy roommates to trip over while getting ready for work; no dirty dishes from the night before or unfolded laundry aside from my own; no little brother to keep me up at night playing his online games.

My apartment, my space, my home.

Naomi is convinced there’s something wrong with me. Kota calls me at least once a week, not so subtly trying to convince me to move back home. Even my mother has a hard time hiding her disappointment whenever I talk about my solo weekends or late night walks home from work.

I really don’t see what the problem is. I just work better alone.

Alone is nice and quiet. Peaceful. Predictable. Comforting. And yet, no one else seems to get it.

Unfortunately, tonight proves to be a hassle, because just when I settle down at the table with my bento box dinner and my fluffy Christmas book, my phone begins to ring. I bite back a groan when I see my brother’s name.

“Yes, Kota?”

I love my younger brother, but sometimes he has the worst timing for check-up calls.

His voice is soft when he answers. “Just wanted to see how you’re doing, sis. You have a good day at work?”

“Of course, and you?”

“Never better! Listen, ah… You’ll be in Kyoto for Christmas, right?”

“Unfortunately.” I wonder who could’ve let that slip—Naomi isn’t exactly the most reliable when it comes to secrets and gossip.

I can almost see him pinch the bridge of his nose when he sighs. “Ichika, c’mon, don’t—”

“What do you want me to say, Kota?”

My voice is sharp, and immediately I feel the familiar coil of guilt winding up in my chest. It’s not Kota’s fault I get so wound up like this. Then again, he doesn’t really try to make it better, especially when it comes to me visiting our parents’ home.

“Ichika…please.”

I groan and reluctantly bookmark my page. Looks like I’m not getting much reading done tonight, after all.

“I’m going to Kyoto because Naomi’s friends happen to live there. She just so happened to invite me and Sayaka for her Christmas party. It’s got nothing to do with you or our parents.”

It’s harsh, but it’s the only way I can get my point across. Kota’s been too damn persistent about getting me back to Kyoto, and it’s time I put my foot down. I can’t go back to that house.

I won’t.

He’s quiet for a moment. I’m wondering if my words have finally gotten through that thick skull of his, when he finally clears his throat and tries again.

“Mom misses you.”

I know she does.

“She can always come visit me. Goodnight, Kota.”

I hang up before he can respond. I don’t need him trying to guilt trip me into coming home for Christmas. Especially not with my mother.

I already have enough on my plate between bills and my two jobs; I definitely don’t need any additional family drama.

I go back to my meal, but it doesn’t taste the same. I end up finishing the last few bites, folding up my glasses on the nightstand, and burying my head beneath the covers of my bed.

At least my book’s still good. I end up finishing it at half past two, and the second I close the book I’m out like a light, swaddled up in my blankets.

🔥

Unfortunately, my hopes of a drama-free Christmas getaway are crushed the second I get to Kyoto. Go figure.

Most of Naomi’s close friends live in Kyoto, so this Christmas she invited me and Sayaka to accompany her to her friend Mei’s party. Mei herself is nice; in fact, most of Naomi’s friends are easy to get along with. But every time I visit them with her, there’s always that one single friend that’s quick to remind me just how different I am from the rest of them.

I could never live on my own and not hang out with friends or family. I would get so bored after a day! How do you not get lonely? Is it because you don’t like people all that much?

This time it’s a girl named Hina, who busts out the real important questions shortly after dinner: “You’re still single, huh, Ichika?”

“I, um—”

“Sayaka, you mentioned you’re seeing someone, right? And Naomi’s got her boyfriend, Mei’s got a girlfriend… You’re the odd one out, Ichika!”

Gee, thanks. I force a smile and take a generous sip of my wine. It’s black cherry—not bad at all.

“Why is that?”

“Uh…why am I single?”

“Still single.”

Well, screw you too.

I glance at Naomi for help, but she’s too distracted with her fourth glass of wine tonight. Her face is flushed and smushed against Sayaka’s lap. Looks like I’m on my own for now.

“I guess…I just haven’t found the right guy.”

She hums and scoots closer to me on the floor. Her drink sloshes in her glass, reminding me to not be too harsh with my answers.

“You think you will? You’re always alone whenever Naomi brings you over! I kinda feel bad…”

“Well, sometimes I like being alone.”

“But you’re not getting any younger, girl! None of us are, so go find your soulmate!”

I gulp down the rest of my drink and instantly reach for the bottle. I already get enough of these interrogations from my parents, and I certainly don’t need them from a friend of a friend.

“I’m okay, but thanks for your concern.”

She leans in even closer. “So I’m guessing you’re still a virgin, right?”

I make sure to top myself off with a bit extra. Naomi, I could really use your help right now!

“…So what if I am?”

She gives me a look that makes my throat close up. I down the wine as fast as I can, hangovers be damned.

“Is that a crime, Hina?”

“It’s not ideal. Usually girls our age have lost it already.”

Then go talk to them instead. “Well, it’s not really my top priority at the moment.”

She presses her shoulder to mine, leaning in so close I can smell the wine on her breath. “You’re missing out, love! Listen, I can hook you up with a couple guys if you want. Just leave it to me! I can—”

“Ah, no thanks, I’d rather not.”

She huffs and sips her drink again. “You’re so boring sometimes, I don’t know why Naomi still brings you around.”

A burst of anger blooms in my chest. I grit my teeth, gulp down the rest of my wine, and stumble to my feet. Naomi is already passed out beside Sayaka. And from the looks of it, Hina isn’t too far behind.

Mei only gives me a drowsy look as I head for the front door. “Need some air, be right back.” She merely nods and leans back against the arm of the couch. Her girlfriend Kyouka is already curled up beside her, a drunken blush on her cheeks.

I try not to slam the door behind me, but it’s hard to be considerate at this point. I press my hand to my head, leaning on the railing of the complex. In the distance I can see the glowing streets of the city square.

I hope Hina wakes up with the worst hangover ever tomorrow morning.

I can take a few cheap shots and backhanded compliments, but the one thing I won’t budge on is my sex life—or lack thereof. Maybe because it plays into my solitary lifestyle, but I always get a bad taste in my mouth when people speculate about romance around me. I have no problem with the concept itself; I’ve read thousands of romance books and make sexual jokes with the other girls. (And fine, I might have read some smutty stories every now and then. I’m no stranger to adult films, either.)

I’m not asexual or aromantic, but I hate when people try to set me up like that. My father has already made plenty of offhand comments about marriage, and although it’s lighthearted, my mother always says she wants grandchildren. Maybe someday down the line it’ll happen, but I’m not actively looking for anything right now. Besides, having a partner will just screw up my ideal lifestyle of solitude.

I don’t have to answer to Hina, of all people.

I barely hear the door open behind me. I rub my eyes and look over to see Yukari slipping out from the apartment. She closes the door quietly before joining me at the railing. Out of the seven of us girls at the party, she seems to be the most sober.

Her amber eyes are kind as she rests a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t let Hina get to you, she’s always bossy when she’s drunk. Can’t take a hint to save her life.”

Oh, lovely. We had a competent audience.

She must see it on my face, because she giggles behind her hand. “Ah, sorry. But I don’t wanna pry too much. Just know that half the time, she talks out of her ass.”

I bite my lip and touch my forehead again. All I want to do is curl up in my own bed—but I’m way too drunk to make it home right now. Never mind the next train isn’t until five in the morning.

“I just…hate being reminded of it all the time.”

“What, you mean sex? Believe me, hon, it’s not all that it’s cracked up to be.”

“But at least you’ve had it!”

Yukari doesn’t even blink at my outburst. “Maybe, but you’re not on a time limit. Go at your own pace.”

Easier said than done. I flump down onto the railing, my arms stretched out towards the city.

“Sometimes I wish I could just get it over with…but without the consequences. Wishful thinking, huh?”

But she’s not laughing with me, even out of awkward sympathy. Actually, she looks rather…serious. Almost intrigued.

Is my misery really all that entertaining?

“Maybe there is, Ichika. But it’s a bit risky.”

I rub my eyes and glance at her. A few more minutes and I’ll be fast asleep.

“Eh? What kind of human wouldn’t—”

“No, not human.” Her eyes twinkle mischievously, as she tucks a strand of brown hair back behind her ear. There’s a flash of red on her hand, but I’m too dazed to focus on it. Could be a bracelet or tattoo for all I know. “How are you with risks, Ichika?”

“Um…meh?”

She smiles and leans in close. (It’s nice not to smell the black cherry wine on her breath.) “Can I tell you a secret, if you promise not to tell?”

I find myself nodding. The alcohol is already taking a toll on my body.

“What about summoning a demon?”

🔥

It’s hard not to burst out laughing at that. I never knew Yukari was such a comedian when she wants to be. Maybe she’s not as uptight and serious as I thought she was!

I slap the railing with a drunken laugh that comes right from my gut. “You sure you haven’t had anything to drink? You’re sounding just as delusional as Hina with that talk?”

But she merely shrugs, like the comments just roll off her back like water. She sends me a smile that could only be classified as borderline flirty.

“It was worth a shot! It’s how I did it, after all.”

“Heh…wait, what?”

She shrugs her shoulder and taps her fingers against the railing. “There are some demons out there that specialize in certain acts of human life. One of those is specifically pleasure—when you summon them, they show up, do what you want, and then disappear. Easy-peasy, no strings attached!”

“Hmph…sounds like some fairytale you tell kids to keep them out of trouble.” Also sounds too good to be true. Maybe I’m drunker than I thought. “But it sounds interesting. I’ll keep it in mind, just in case.”

Yukari snickers with a wave of her hand. “Do that, it’s definitely worth it. Anyway, I’m heading to bed—and you should do the same.”

On cue, a yawn nearly splits my head in two. I rub my eyes and nod, allowing her to take me by the wrist and lead me back into Mei’s apartment. The sounds of drunken snores fill the air as she opens the door. I flump down onto the couch, as Yukari pulls a spare blanket over my shoulders.

“Oh, and Ichika—a word of advice.”

She leans in close, her lips pressed against my ear, as she takes my glasses off. My eyelids grow heavy, and I nearly miss the rest of her words as I slip off into sleep.

“Be careful if you try anything. Demons can be dangerous creatures—they’ll only allow certain people tame them. Good luck, darling.”