You Can’t Run Away

I hear knocks on the door. I don’t answer. Eden calls out my name three times before walking away once more. 

That’s the seventh time he’s come up to the door. After the incident at the farm I went straight back to my room and slammed the door. I’m so angry at him that I can’t think straight. When he first knocked I screamed at him to go away. He apologized for what he did and I told him to go to hell. 

Now the memory of involuntary slaughter is burned into my brain. The feeling of the knife piercing through flesh, the sight of the blood, and the sound of the animals as they helplessly gasp for air. It’s too much. 

There’s knocking on the door again. I want to scream at him but something stops me. The knock pattern is different. 

“Who is it?” I ask. 

“It’s me Jade. Open up please.”

My heart skips a beat at the sound of Vicky’s voice. I immediately get up and answer the door. I am greeted by two piercing blue eyes gazing down at me. She wears a black, leather jacket and black jeans. 

“What are you doing in here for so long?” Vicky asks. 

“I-I ah nothing,” I say. 

"Good. Come with me."

I hesitate for a moment and Vicky grips onto my right arm hard and pulls me in her direction. Her nails dig into my arm and I suspect if it weren't for my coat, she would pierce through my skin. She leads me downstairs to the kitchen, grabs a long knife, and then pulls me into the basement.

When she finally lets go of my arm I focus on the room we are in and am stunned into silence. There's a man down here, bounded to the wall, and gaged at the mouth. He has bruises on his limbs and blood soaking through his t-shirt. His gaze meets Vicky's in a panic and he begins scrambling backwards to no avail. 

"Wha- what is happening?" I ask.

Vicky throws the knife on the ground by left foot. "Pick it up," she says.

"I-I"

"Do it!"

I do so without thinking.

Vicky's expression doesn't change, as she nods her head in the direction of the man. "You know what to do next," she says. "This is your first test."

I freeze and tighten my grip on the handle. My brain runs a mile a minute and my body refuses to do anything. I don't know who this man is. I feel like I’m suffocating and fear consumes me. This stranger's life is now in my hands and I have to decide in this moment whether to sacrifice him for my own good.

"You're hesitating."

"Who is this man," I say.

"Knowing this man won't change anything. If I told you he was a horrible criminal on death row would that put your mind at ease? If I told you he was father of three beautiful young children would you try to buy him time to say goodbye? The outcome will still result in his demise. This is your test to prove you can handle being an assassin. With every new hour that passes where you allow him to live I will personally come down here to torture him until he dies of dehydration. Is that what you prefer, Jade? His suffering?"

I bite my tongue. Vicky comes right up to my face and stabs my right forearm with a small pocket knife. I screech out in pain and clasp my wound. Terror and adrenaline course through me and I reach down for the knife on the ground, pick it up, and stab Vicky's thigh. My blade was a lot longer than hers so it does significant damage. I race up the stairs and hear curses and shouts of my name. I continue sprinting towards the front door.

"Jade-" 

I peek to my left for a brief second and observe Eden. I look back and race out the front door.

"Jade!” I hear Eden say behind me.

I keep running. I run into the forest and don't look back. My vision blurs around me.

After maybe ten minutes or so of wobbling my way down the gravel path I stop at a tree to catch my breath. I'm visibly shaking and my knees give out. The gravel road coat layers of dust onto my jeans. My lungs are gasping for air.

Eden comes into view. He is also panting. "Jade," he says. "You're hurt."

He immediately kneels beside me and reaches for my injured arm. I don't let him touch it and pull away from his reach. "Eden," I say. "Eden, I-"

"Jade, what happened." He places both of his hands on my shoulders, forcing full eye-contact. "Talk to me."

I tell him everything that happened with Vicky. His faces flashes with concern.

"Eden, I have to get out here," I say. "She's going to kill me."

"You can't go anywhere she won't find you," Eden says.

"I'll keep running. Running and never stop."

"That won't work."

Tears are forming at my eyes. I feel so helpless and downright stupid. Why did I do that? I should've just done what she wanted me to do. But I couldn't. It's so despicable and cruel.

"Why-" I hear my broken self say.

"It's my fault."

"Eden-"

"Three years ago I was struggling hard with my mental health. I thought if I could find a way to free myself from the blood drinking curse then all my problems would go away. I met Vicky and Selene by chance and after discovering they were angels I begged them to grant my greatest wish. Back then I would’ve never imagined there were bad angels so I signed a magical contract with them. I didn’t know they were planning to cheat me."

I don't say anything. Eden looks away from me.

“They hid their true intentions from me and purposefully left out the details of our deal on the document. I read through it five times before signing so I know. They ended up granting my greatest wish in exchange for control over my mind, body, and soul. Of course, they didn't tell me that. I assumed all angels were good and I didn’t have a reason to suspect them. Looking back I realized I had no reason to trust them either."

"They tricked you."

"And now I’m magically bounded to everything they say. I’ve been on the run with them ever since and haven’t seen my family in so long. And now I’m to blame for why you have to suffer the same fate."

Eden still doesn’t make eye contact with me. I sit up a little straighter and place my right hand on his cheek. He looks up. 

“If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t even be alive right now,” I say. “That counts for something.”

Eden smiles weakly at me and I feel my whole face flush. I wanted to hug him so bad that I almost laugh at the fact that just moments ago I wanted nothing to do with him. We embrace and don’t say anything for a long time. 

When we pull apart I immediately ask, “How do we break the contract?”

Eden seems taken back. “You can’t,” he says. “I basically made a deal with two devils and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

I didn’t like the answer. No matter how realistic or close to the truth it is. I am filled with so many emotions that I can’t identify - it’s overwhelming. 

So I decide to shut them all off. I get up from where we are and start walking calmly in the direction of the house. I hear footsteps following me. 

“Don’t,” I say to Eden only turning slightly. 

To my surprise he doesn’t follow. He stays. 

When I make it back inside the house  I see no one. This calms me. I make my way down to the basement where I am greeted by the panicked man in the corner. Vicky seems to have left. I pick up the knife from the floor.

I’m not sure what it would feel like to end someone. I couldn’t process any of my thoughts. The motions were over before I knew it and I find myself with the new title of murderer.