Game Over

I couldn’t tell how much time had passed since I’d started. I was immersed in a separate reality, contained within the screen of that laptop. The world responded to my input, and the music and sounds put me in an unimaginable landscape. It felt like I’d known the characters for ages, and I was truly invested in the narrative.

For a second, I thought I was a creature made of no more than 32 pixels, red, green and blue.

It was still an easy game by my standards, but the difficulty scaled as I kept on playing. Eventually, a boss’ unique gimmick got me, and the Game Over screen flashed before me.

“Phew… That was rough. Time to start from-”, I began saying, but as the game booted up again, I realized I’d have to start from the beginning. “Wait… There’s no saves!?”, I turned to Sora as I asked.

“... It’s… It’s a roguelike. That’s why it’s called ‘Restart!’, Tokitsu”, she answered from below her futon.

“Oh… I see, I see…”, my hand found its way to my chin, as I thought up some feedback.

“So… What do you think?”, she shyly pressed me for some words.

“You really do continue improving after every game you make, Soejima-sensei. Congratulations. I loved it- I loved it so much I lost track of time”, I couldn’t get technical, my heart was still pounding from everything I’d felt just then.

“You… Do you really think so?”, she finally abandoned the inside of her covers, and got next to me.

She picked up the controller, and started playing with only one hand, while the other hand pointed at the screen. My eyes widened before her extraordinary proficiency.

“This enemy here- I designed him with-”, she blabbered on and on.

There was something oddly alluring about her confidence and enthusiasm while explaining the in-depth aspects of her game design to me. Now, I know I said I’d fallen in love with her game design, but… I couldn’t get my eyes off of her focused expression.

I did hear everything she had to say, but I’d already forgotten everything by the very next instant. It’s almost as if my brain didn’t allow me to focus on her words, but rather exclusively on her voice. It was strangely soft, yet it carried a determined maturity.

“Got it, Tokitsu?”, she glared at me with shining eyes.

“I- uh… I might have lost it somewhere in the middle…”, I confessed, lowering my head.

“Oh- Oh! I’m sorry, I blabbered too much, didn’t I?”, she blushed.

“No, no! It’s not like that… I’m sorry, Soejima-sensei… Also, I’d rather you just call me by name. It feels weird using my gamertag in-person…”, I said.

“Well, then you may call me by name too!”, she responded in kind.

“Very well, Sora-sensei… I legitimately think this might be your best game yet, even without my input. The bosses are well-designed in their simplicity, and the progression system felt very natural”, I began offering a tad more technical input.

“Good! That’s what I was hoping to hear!”, she smiled. “What else, what else!?”, she was so excited that steam fumed from her nose.

I could only assume she was nervous before my initial impressions were revealed, and her true colors were finally showing.

“It’s… Cute”, I mumbled.

“Huh? Who, me?”, she asked.

“Huh!?”, it was then my turn to blush. “The game, you ditz!”, I screeched.

“Te-he!”, she laughed it off. What’s up with that personality switch, anyway!?

“Anyway… About that offer from before…”, I began.

“Hum, hum…”, she shook her head affirmatively, her eyes wide and expectant of a positive answer.

“... I’d love to be your beta tester, Sora”, I finally said it. “It would be an honor. An unimaginable honor”, I went formal all of a sudden.

She let out a deep breath. I couldn’t tell if it was disappointment or relief, and I immediately started overthinking.

“... I’m so glad…”, she teared up slightly.

“Eh?”, I tilted my head in absolute confusion. ‘Isn’t that too much emotion for Act 1?’, I thought.

“This was…”, she sniffed. “My first…”, another sniff. “Business meeting that wasn’t with my dad!”, she concluded, adding a final sniff to close it out.

Dweeb.

“Pff- Ha ha ha~!”, I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. “So you really were nervous, huh?”, I asked.

“Super!”, she replied, still bawling.

“Man… I guess your games aren’t the only thing that are gonna be needing feedback”, I smirked.

“Eh?”, it was her turn to tilt her head, and the confusion even made her stop crying.

“I record videos and stream on the internet, you know? I could… Also help you not be nervous when talking in front of people, and stuff…”, I somewhat lost my train of thought upon saying those things while looking at her.

She was silent, immersed in thought for a second.

“REALLY!?”, she yelled, nearly giving me a heart attack from the jumpscare.

“Yeah!”, I put on my social facade, realizing it would be absolutely indispensable from that point onwards.

“Yay!”, she said to herself. “New quest unlocked!”, she then mumbled, her back turned to me.

Oh, boy. She’s one of the people who says that kind of stuff out loud…

Although, that might be the exact reason for why her games feel so immersive.

“We have a deal, then?”, I tried getting her attention.

“Of course!”, she came back to herself. “It’s just… I feel like I’ve lost some big opportunities in the past… Precisely because I can’t talk to people well”, she said.

“Well, you’re talking to me, aren’t you?”, I replied, trying to get her away from that mentality.

“But I’ve been rehearsing the whole week! And I almost didn’t ask you to come! And I’ve pretended to talk to you online while you were streaming…”, she said, and I nervous-laughed in return.

Whoa. That was a lot of confessions all at once. I’m scared…

Still, when you really think about it, this parasocial aspect of our newfound business partnership was to be expected. She was my gamedev idol, and I was a streamer whom she watched online.

“Well… Let’s make sure that your practice doesn’t go to waste then, Sora-sensei!”, I attempted to lighten the mood.

She nodded with a sincere smile. “Yeah, Toki!”.

And, just like that, our strange relationship as game-maker and game-tester had just begun.