The Pain He Carried

“But you knew, didn’t you?”

There was an eerie silence between Celena and Kei. In truth, Kei had known from the start that Charlotte had followed him. After all, his detection was always active. But at the time, hunting Sylas down took priority.

“I guess there’s no helping it. Yes, I knew.”

“Then why weren’t you worried about being found out? Aren’t you afraid of the repercussions?!”

Celena was now scolding Kei, she was more worried than she was angry. However, Kei’s face remained unchanged.

“No.” Kei answered.

“But why? Why were you so determined to kill the Prince?! So much so that you’d risk so much?!”

“Because, for the first time in so long, my life finally has a direction. Rather than wandering like a ghost, I finally have something to live fo—”

Before Kei could finish his sentence, he cut himself off. As if he didn’t want to reveal too much. Hearing this, Celena was caught off guard.

'Something… to live… for? Then the forest… was he actually trying to…’

Thinking back to their conversation the last time, Kei had mentioned he was tricked into going into the forest. Although it's a misunderstanding, she was right to think that Kei had not much of a reason to live going into that forest.

“You mean… all this time… you wanted… to die…?” Celena struggled to get her words out.

“...”

“Why? There’s so much in this world to live for… Why do people always think—”

“No.” Kei had cut Celena off once more.

“Eh?”

“I’m not going to grow a reason to believe this world has many things to offer just because you say so. Frankly speaking, I’m sick of it…”

‘What am I saying?’ Kei thought as he spoke.

“I’ve travelled this world for so long… If there was beauty, I’m sure I would’ve seen it. Everywhere I go, it’s war, discrimination, murder… Frankly speaking, I’m sick of it.”

As he spoke, Celena’s eyes widened in shock at what he was saying. But more at the face she was looking at. His words were sharp, a normal person would think that he was angry. But under all that, Celena could see it visibly on his face.

“Besides… How worse can it possibly get? After all…”

Both Celena and Charlotte were now stunned into silence, Charlotte’s hand covering her mouth to hide her shock at what they were seeing.

*Drip*

Kei tilted his head up to look at them, smiling. His left eye now glowing red once more, tears streaming down from it. Each tear that fell onto the bed burnt small holes into it, as if they were as hot as sparks of fire.

“After all, everything I’ve wanted, they’re all gone…”

“Umm… Kei-kun…”

Confused as to their worried looks, Kei finally realised that there were tears streaming down his face.

“Eh? Ah… please ignore this… I don’t know what’s gotten over me…haha…”

Kei hurriedly tried to wipe the tears off with his hands, steam coming off it as the tears burned his skin before closing the wounds quickly. Unable to bear looking at him like that anymore, Celena rushed to Kei’s side, giving him a warm embrace.

Kei’s eyes widened in surprise upon receiving her embrace. Once more, tears started flowing down from his face onto Celena’s back. Charlotte tried to intervene, thinking Celena would be burned by the tears, but was surprised to see that the tears did not burn her at all. Now, Kei wore no expressions on his face, instead, he looked tired, like he was just done with everything.

“I can’t promise you that everything from here on will be fine. Nor can I promise you anything to live for.”

Celena had finally spoken up, in a calm and gentle voice..

“But I can promise you that I will try. If nothing else… I want to walk beside you, at least until you can find a reason to want to...”

After that, the two stayed still. No other words were exchanged. No one, not even Charlotte, wanted to intrude in that moment. For the first in a long time, Kei seemed to have lifted his burdens, albeit slightly.