Mathematically Is Something Like Absurd Cat Energy

“Yeah, yeah… of course, though normally they always order the same things in most stores.” He said, placing the receipt on the counter. “So I memorized the prices…”

“Right…” I answered, taking the receipt myself. “Impressive, honestly.” Truth is I couldn’t care less—even if he told me he had pi memorized to a thousand digits, I still wouldn’t care.

“Kiri, if you want I can point out the prices of the merchandise in the truck.” He said, completely ignoring me. Honestly, if Nyocery Store jumped from some shelf and ripped his face off it would’ve been perfect.

“Why? We never do that.”

“Just saying… since someone seems to be insinuating things…” he answered.

“It’s not my problem, I didn’t say anything.” Kiri said while scrolling videos on her phone. “Tanaka, can you go?”

“Of course, of course… boss!” I said, tapping the counter twice. “Shall we, Takuya?”

“Sure… yeah, even better.” He patted my back and walked outside. He didn’t even wait—just made a hand gesture.

“Tanaka…” Kiri’s voice stopped me before I followed.

“Yeah?”

“He’s so fat he can’t climb.” She said, covering her laugh as always. She turned her phone to show me a video of a cat trying to climb onto a table.

I pulled out my phone, thinking of texting her something, but I wanted to handle this situation first, so I just walked out in silence.

I stood behind the truck while Takuya raised the door.

“So… uhm… doesn’t this job feel tedious?” he asked.

“The store?”

“Yeah, I mean…” He got closer and slung his arm around me. “Come on, you don’t look like someone who works in a place like this.”

“Actually I used to be an office worker.” I answered while eyeing the product boxes.

“Ha! Knew it, you can tell…” He pulled me closer. “You’ve got really good eyes—too good for a place like this.”

“Even if the pay sucks...” In reality I didn’t even know if Kiri had settled on an arbitrary number for salary yet.

“I can imagine… so—”

“So how about we do something…?” I asked, this time leaning in toward him, deliberately lowering my voice. “Look, Kiri has no idea about numbers, it’s obvious, and I think it’s safe to say someone like you knows that…”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on… you were going to make up prices on the spot, right? What’s the problem now? You charge whatever you want and she doesn’t even notice…” I said, slinging my arm around him too. “How about… I don’t know… I don’t say anything about this, you bump the price up a little, and you give me a cut? Don’t blame me… I’m just trying to make some money.”

“Oh! No way, no, no… I like the idea… We all win.” He said, nearly blinding me again with that smile. “How much do you want?”

“We can discuss that later. First, pretend you’re doing calculations or something. I don’t think she will look through the window, but just in case.” I said, pulling away from him.

“You know, if Kiri had hired you earlier I think things would’ve been way better, right?” he asked, slamming the truck door down almost in one motion.

“Trust me, you have no idea.” I said, walking toward the entrance.

Like I said, I had my phone in my hand.
I wanted to text Kiri something, but I didn’t.

What I also didn’t do was talk about chance—or rather, probability.
When you flip a coin, there’s a 50% chance it lands heads and 50% tails.
Suppose you flip the coin.
Suppose that every 6,000 flips, one lands on its edge.

“Ah… Takuya, how stupid, I almost forgot…” I said, smacking my forehead with my palm.

“What’s up?”

“I’m an idiot and sometimes I do things I know are wrong…”

“Come on, don’t worry, this—”

“Like secretly recording a conversation…” I said, cutting him off before he could finish, while showing him my phone.

“W-what? Hey, hey… you’re supposed—”

“Assuming is never a good thing...” I said, pocketing my phone and stepping closer again. “I’m not going to show this to Kiri, and you leave the merchandise at no cost.”

“Are you an idiot or what?” He let out another laugh. “Fine, show her. It’s just one store—I can make it up.” He leaned back against the truck, crossing his arms.

“Ahh… no… I’m not going to show her.” I said, glancing back through the window for a second. Kiri was still in her world of… well, does anyone at this point expect anything other than cats? No, of course not. “Kiri thinks you’re the nice guy who brings her merchandise, and I’d prefer she keeps thinking that.”

“Uh-huh… and?”

“I think the idiot here isn’t exactly me…” I stepped closer and patted his shoulder again. “This is my only job. I have no salary. I’m completely broke—broke enough that I live off what a neighbor gives me.”

“How awful to be you…”

“What I’m getting at is, I want Kiri to stay in that mental bubble of hers, even if it’s a fantasy world…” 

Yes, people need to face 'real world' I know that, but everyone has their time to do so.

“I don’t understand where you’re going with this. No. I don’t even care where you’re going with this.” He answered, fixing his hair again like someone was watching.

“It’s just one store, right? You’re not going to go broke if I show this to Kiri…”

“Exactly, so if I were you—”

“But I can go store by store showing this recording… and trust me, even if you’re not scamming the others… the doubt will be there.” I finished with another shoulder pat. “Imagine it—fun, right?” I was probably sounding like a sociopath to be honest.

“Hey, if you even think about—”

“And you keep interrupting me… I don’t like people talking over me.” Though in theory I was the one talking over him. “I’m going inside… you decide what to do, Ta-ku-ya.”

Yes, I know what I did is—in theory… and well, in practice—wrong. But I also know two negatives make a positive.
I also know I’m making all this up to justify what I just did.

It’s not about stupid morality, it’s about the simplicity of things. You’re not good for doing something bad even if it’s against a bad person.
But on the other hand…

“Tanaka! Look!” Kiri was holding Nyocery Store like a Formula 1 driver with a trophy. “Nyocery Store let me put his collar on.”

“Wasn’t he ‘the cat’?” I answered with a laugh as I walked in.

“I promoted him for good behavior.”

“Good for him.”

“Now I just need to decide who has the bigger role in the store—you or him.” She said, swinging him like a pendulum. Clearly, judging by how inert Nyocery Store was, he’d gotten used to Kiri being… well, Kiri.…

On the other hand, if what I did meant she could keep being the way she is, then I guess I can drop any excuse and say I’d pull the sociopath stunt again if necessary.

And yes, it’s a cliché phrase (weirdly phrased, I know).
But sometimes cliché applies to real life.

Or when you're foolishly in... well, you know the word.