THE GRANDEST ADVENTURE FOR TRUE REVENGE AND THE WITCH MOMMY (ver 1)

CHAPTER 2

THE GRANDEST ADVENTURE FOR TRUE REVENGE AND THE WITCH MOMMY

After being put on a watchlist for searching “where to find the underground in Antus” 8 times, I finally found it. The place was vast, like being inside a concrete whale. Neon lights everywhere, blinding my eyes. People of all sorts of shapes and sizes walked around in tensioned harmony. Every step I took was slow but long. And of course there was the glorious smell of cat piss blanketing the floor. Still not as bad as school, though. I guess even the biggest bum of an adult is cleaner than your average teenager. All around I saw the people just chilling. I saw a tall guy wearing a beat-up gray suit and holding a broken Freeze-1. He was judging me, even after I turned the corner. The danger is looming but never coming.

I walked around slowly, taking in the atmosphere. But I have to keep my goal in mind: learn about Louis. So I started looking around for any information brokers, they must have what I need! Maybe I can find them at the bar? That works in the movies!

I found this place called “Super Awesome Fun Badass Bar.” The bar had a fancy wooden sign and was somewhat full. Walking in, my eyes widened. It was a nice bar, like one you’d see in a classic wild west film. It felt warm in the air and cold in the energy. The wooden floors were old but sturdy. A cool skull was mounted right behind the bar. I sat down on a nice bench (the one least likely to give you a splinter) and looked at the menu.

While I was reading, I tried to listen to my surroundings. But there was only random noise and chatter for a while until I heard it.

“Yeah, but Louis.” Someone behind me complained. Suddenly the whole duel flashed in front of me once more. I lightly touched the cut on my cheek. What was his face like when he left? Was he grinning? Wait, no, it was more neutral but giggling. No, his eyes looked away somberly, but his face definitely had a grin. But also-

Wait, I'm spiraling again, aren't I? Why is Louis known here in the first place? Is it related to that expression? This can be huge for me. I have to go talk to that man!

“Yeah, man, the kid’s real cocky, but he is hella powerful!” His friend added. Is Louis legitimate? If so, that would be huge information (and make revenge much more difficult)! I kept listening. Now I’m on the verge of jumping out of my seat just to hear better.

“I wonder if things will work out for him?”

“I really don’t hope so, man.” Wait, so Louis is plotting something bigger than my gummies? Why are they so important? Is he a rebel? What is the point of the gummy bears? Whatever it is, it will be huge! Oh wait, I look hella suspicious, don’t I? Let’s just go back to the menu and listen in. Look at some beers real quick.

I quickly flipped through the pages quietly. “Bulldozer? Your Mom? Is a Fatass? What the hell is an IPA? The International Phonetic Alphabet? I didn’t know that the owner was a linguist! That’s so cool! I wonder if he’s into conlangs too!” I said out loud accidentally, my face smashed into the menu like it’s a tent.

“The hell is a conlang? Also, you look way too young to be here, kid. Seriously, you're the height of a middle schooler! Do you even have money?” A tall man who magically appeared behind me said in a rough voice.

“Ah! Oh, um, hi. I-I have money!” I started desperately searching through my wallet. Luckily I found it, opening it revealed: absolutely nothing. It was a really bad idea to buy that new jetpack. “Ummmmm, I’ll go home, mister.” I conceded, looking down before slowly waddling away like a baby penguin. The men at the table I was listening to were laughing at me. Dude, this sucks! Sigh, I guess I’ll just explore for a while. I’ll wait for them to leave so I can meet with them later.

I slowly walked around the place. My arms were locked out, and my hands were in the pockets of my beat-up, extremely oversized blue hoodie. Then I wandered into this place called “Very Legal Stuff.” It was full of not very legal stuff. The walls, and floor were concrete but somewhat maintained. The poorly screwed together aluminum shelves were packed with random junk, guns, and a mysterious big red button.

“Man see button, man push button” – some guy on the internet, 20XX

I pushed the button… And nothing hap- Oh god, why is the air so cold all of a sudden? What did I do? No, it’s nothing, it was always cold. I'm just noticing it now. This is a very common phenomenon in humans where we only notice things when we are looking for them. Obviously the button did nothing! It’s just a random prop, on a random shelf, in a random sho-

“Hey, Kid. Are you okay?” I heard from a woman behind me. Her voice had a nice soft tone, but it also felt a little mysterious and powerful. “You do realize you just started the self-destruct sequence for the world, right?” I felt her chin right above my shoulder as she got closer.

“W-what are you talking about?” I stammered while about to shit myself. Should I figure out who the hell is on my back right now? Probably. But what if I accidentally hit her? You know what? Let's just go for it!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS THIS LADY?! Her face is hidden by this black mist, with two glowing blue eyes shining through and down into my eyes. I can feel the bright white fur inside her beat-up blue jacket rubbing against my cheek. She is super relaxed and leaning towards me with her hands in her pockets. This is way, way too close, It feels like I’m staring at something inhuman.

The way she handles herself is smooth but scary. I feel like she could beat me up any second but chooses not to. She has two beat-up gray horns. Her clothes are rough. My hands went in front of my chest. Holding each other tight like a scared T. rex. I shifted my feet slowly, looking down. But that only made her want to move closer.

“Hellooooooooo?” She asked while tilting her head seemingly for the 50th time because I kept spacing out. A coldness emanated from the mist, trapping me.

“Oh, um, hi. S-so what was that about, y’know the world ending?.”

“Exactly what I said, your dumbass just ended the world.” She said while rolling her head around in the air like a boxer. Getting so close to my face, I could feel the mist engulfing me too.

“Oh… Sorry,” I said, looking down, not really thinking. I’m still trying to decide whether this is a dream or not.

“Sorry? Just a “sorry”? You do realize what that means, right?” I felt her blue eyes turning red as she got closer and closer. The light was blinding me. Is the world really gone? All because of me?

“W-wait the world is really ending?” I demanded, panicking like a bird who just lost one of her eggs. She stopped moving at all, just thinking. The girl moved like she was in space. Perfectly still, just slowly drifting while thinking. Is the world actually gonna end? I moved my head back down, pondering what I just did. But then, she let out the most tiny, microscopic giggle known to man.

“What do you think?” She asked, finally stepping back a bit. Her eyes slowly went back to blue. She’s calm and cold but warm? This lady… Is she a demon? A human? A monster?

“What’s your name, kid?” She interrupted my thoughts.

“Geb… your’s?”

She recoiled slightly at my name and paused. Her shining blue eyes widened for a second and shrunk back down immediately. Like she noticed something, she completely understands everything now. Her hands went back into her pockets, and the mist settled a bit. Posture reserved and no longer invasive. But then it grew more energetic and playful, the mist jumping up and down. “I am Witch Mommy Yaka.”

“W-which mommy?!” What does she mean by that? She’s a witch? Does she know magic? A-and ‘mommy?’

“The hell you mean, ‘which’? It’s the one standing in front of you, tomato.” She snickered slightly to herself. Yaka’s kinda like Louis but a little less rude, more teasing. She might have information. Then she started walking out slowly. I started to walk with her..

“You're a mommy! You shouldn’t be making dad jokes. Also, how am I a tomato?!”

“Really, Geb? Just look at those cheeks!” Then she pinched my cheeks like I’m a toddler. I slapped her hands away and snapped my neck to the left.

“Okay, okay, I have so many questions, but I’ll just go with it.” That is a complete lie, and I know it. My plan is to just stall so I can figure out how to bring in Louis subtly. I am not gonna ‘just go with it.’ I’m going to control the conversation.

“So Geb, why are you here in the underground? Teens usually aren’t allowed down here.” She inquired, bringing back that smooth, deep voice. This seems oddly convenient. Does she already know? Is she just curious? She put her hands in her pockets dismissively while looking down on me. She seems confident, this might be some kind of bait. I shouldn’t tell the truth just yet to be safe.

“Well, I just wanted to explore a bit. Honestly, I’m mostly just curious about this place.” Technically true. But that’s just a side-quest.

“Uh huh, and so why did you push that button?” She asked me while taking a slow turn to the right, I followed, keeping her pace naturally. Yaka seemed pretty interested despite the questions not being super relevant. I think I’ll do nothing and just talk while I wait to see her next move. Then I’ll take control of this.

“I dunno Yaka, genuinely I don’t.” Technically true again.

“Man sees button, man push button?” She responded. While continuing to steer us somewhere. Where is she taking me?

“That's one of my favorite quotes! People tend to act like men and women are the same, but psychologically speaking, their tendencies differ. According to an article by the NIH titled Understanding Female and Male Insights in Psychology: Who Thinks What? Both sexes are practically identical in childhood, but as puberty comes, they begin to split. I find it so fascinating how the mind works for different sexes.”

“Chooo choooo!” I didn’t notice at the time, but Yaka has been slowing down like a steam engine. She was making random train noises and spinning her arms around in circles while I followed subconsciously

“Attention passengers, Witch Mommy Express! Your train has come to a stop at Louis Station. ” She larped while doing a salute. Meanwhile, I was too focused to realize. After I finally finished my beautiful monologue, I noticed.

“Hey, um, Yaka, why did we stop?” I looked around like a confused rabbit. What is the actual move? This is just the middle of nowher- is that Louis?

Oh, that’s Louis, but why is he surrounded by men in gray camo with assault rifles? Whatever this is, it looks very well hidden: it’s mostly indoors with civilian trucks and tucked into this corner of the underground. Louis is inside, his white hair stands out like a sore thumb. He seems to be giving some kind of instructions by a chalkboard. Who the hell uses a chalkboard these days? But he is clearly very important, especially with that black leather jacket. I will admit he is pretty stylish (would be more if he wasn’t a short stack).

My hands left my pocket, clutching the air in front of me. Then they dropped back down to my sides. I kept watching Louis from afar. He seems in charge, but still, Louis. Still a bastard princess. Honestly, he looks even more like a girl in that outfit.

I have many questions remaining, but the biggest one is: how do the gummy bears play into this? Louis wouldn’t just take them and do a whole duel for a reason. So what is it? Ego? Jealousy? He said the company had shut down. I know that they are rare. But Jetpack Chase rare?

I took a deep breath. Honestly, I don’t get what is happening, but something much bigger is going on. Something that can change everything. He’s powerful but cocky, maybe I can use that someday?

“Hey Yaka, is it just me or is that dude with the beard pointing at us?”

“Oh yeah, it seems so.”

“Oh look, he's running inside.”

“Hmmmm,” Yaka hums. Then suddenly she grabs my hand and starts running faster than I can fly on a jetpack! The soldiers started firing at us immediately, but Yaka was running faster than even the bullets. I was flying through the air like a ragdoll.

The bullets stalled in the air in front of me. It was jarring, seeing the bullets try to catch up with me and Yaka, but the sound never came. Time slowed down. The shops and people turned into long streaks on a painting, coming together to form something beautiful. I closed my eyes. Just breathing slowly despite the chaos. It felt like hours had passed.

Finally, time sped back up. Things were just as crazy as when I left. Still a ragdoll flapping around like a toy being held by a child. I opened my eyes again. And I laughed, smiling for the first time since my duel with Louis.

“YAKA, THIS IS TOO FORWARD!”

“Shut up, Geb.”

“Oka!”

Finally, Yaka stopped right outside a room with a plate above saying “Sewage.” Yaka was breathing quite audibly, but she had plenty left in the tank. Meanwhile, I was about to collapse and vomit at the same time. Luckily she held me up by the shoulders, not clutching but supporting.

“Geb, tell me: What is your real goal? I will beat your ass if you lie again,” she said in an authoritative voice. I think I should be honest this time. Yaka is a scary girl.

“I want revenge on Louis. Two days ago he stole my gummy bears and humiliated me. We had a huge jetpack chase and a whole rapier duel.” I answered, trying to sound confident. Admittedly, that was not completely honest. Also, I want to understand him, but this is much closer than last time.

“Really? You want revenge over gummy bears?” She said, getting closer again, breathing down my neck once more.

“... Yes.”

“Reasonable, I'd do the same.” She took a deep breath in. “Geb, do you want me to train you? It might not look like it, but I am actually a very successful teacher with a former student. I can teach you anything you need to beat up Lou, magic, swordplay, tactics, anything.”

“Well, I guess that would be pretty helpful. I’m not sure if I can beat him if he has all those men working for him. You’re not the best teacher with only one student, though. But you seem decent… for someone who calls herself ‘witch mommy.’” She is pretty cool, though. I’m sure I’ll enjoy this. “Also, what happened to your last student?”

“Secrets, my tomato!” she said, striking a girly pose in an overly soft voice. Then she walked off into the sewage room.

“What are you?” I whispered to myself. Before I looked around a bit and followed.