Chapter 18

My essence slowly began to dissolve and flow from my body, but somehow my mind remained calm, and I observed the stream of light flowing from my chest and into the void surrounding me.

It's okay…, I told myself, as Xiaolian’s face flashed before my eyes. She will be happy, she will be complete…

Suddenly, something damp and cold sprang on me, shattering the peace and serenity that filled me, and I screamed in terror as the images in front of my eyes flashed so quickly that my mind couldn’t process them. Something tore into my body, and I cried out with fear as I felt it forcing its way deeper and deeper into my core.

No… I don’t want to disappear. I don’t want to die again. I screamed, fighting back, trying to pull it from my body. I don’t want to die… I don’t want to die…

“Farah!”

Suddenly, the void around me broke like glass and faded, revealing the lab my body was trapped in, but…it looked different… The walls pulsated with a sickening blue light, and every pulse brought a wave of nausea. A low drone penetrated the still air with a constant whisper.

Let go… It’s okay… let go…

A cold metal tube pierced my chest as the machinery that surrounded me pumped out something from my body. I screamed and tried to look away as a sickening feeling twisted my stomach, but no matter where I looked, the image in front of me didn’t change, and I was forced to helplessly watch as my soul was slowly torn apart, hoping it was just a nightmare, even if I knew I would never wake up from it.

My gaze involuntarily followed the tube, and my mind screamed when I saw Xiaolin at its end, floating in the room surrounded by the cold, pulsating light.

“No…”

She opened her eyes and looked at me.

“Yuna…”

I froze as her voice echoed in the room, calling my name. No…

“Fight it, Yuna, you are the real one. Take it back…”

She reached to her chest, revealing a small shred of light buried deep inside her, and my mind went still as I recognised what it was. I’d lost it. I’d lost it a long time ago… I’ve missed it so much. Xiaolan smiled and looked at me.

“Take it back…”

“She will die if you do it.”

My aunt’s voice echoed in the darkness.

“I am not real, I never was… Take it back, Yuna…”, she said softly and looked into my eyes.

"No…”

“This is the only way, Yuna. They will take it away from me the moment you let go."

The darkness behind her shattered like glass, revealing endless rows of tanks filled with bodies, floating in the cold blue light, connected by cold metal tubes to Xiaolian’s back. No… I saw small specks of light slowly growing in their chest, and the walls around me pulsated in a steady rhythm.

“Take it back, all of it, and become who you were supposed to be back then. Be happy…for me."

She smiled softly and closed her eyes as the drone intensified, pulling shreds of the void back into place as the sickening blue light flashed faster and faster, almost blinding me.

“Xiaolian! Farah!"

And something cold and damp stirred behind my eyes.

"Yuna…"

Farah's voice exploded in my mind, and I looked at her, standing in the darkness next to me, shimmering and glitching as her body went in and out of phase.

“You were never missing anything, not to me.”

She brushed a strand of hair from my cheek and glanced at Xiaolian.

“You neither…”

“B-but…”

She shook her head, and only then did I notice the void slowly consuming her body.

“It is not either or, for me. Both of you are real.”

She smiled and tried to reach me again, but the void consumed her before her hand reached my face, and I screamed as shreds of the void fell back into place, and the low drone pierced my mind and began to shatter my core.

I neither fought it nor pulled back what I believed was mine. In those last moments, my mind went to those soft, happy memories of us sitting together on the floor of our room last night. I felt real back then, and I was sure Xiaolan felt the same…