Song For The Dead

I didn’t even know if I would make it to my destination. My legs could give up at any moment under my weight. Yet I couldn’t blame my own weakness. Forcing my body to go through days without much sleep or food wasn’t the best way to recover or keep any reserves left. How long had it been since I had really slept? Days? Weeks? I couldn't even remember. Only my mind bore the marks of my general fatigue.

Every step was heavier than the last. Every breath drew more steam from my mouth than the one before. Everything gradually drained the last drops of my energy. The hotel was near—or was it? I didn’t know. But at this pace, I would just crash onto the ground and sleep like a junkie until morning.

My mind wanted to fight the tiredness. I could still clench my fists and grit my teeth. I could still go. I wouldn’t stop until my body destroyed itself before my eyes, leaving me unable to do anything but watch my own misery.

The doll had returned to the backpack without saying anything more since then. I didn’t really care. It was at least one thing less for my already tired mind to worry about. I just hoped for this doll would be useful, but for now it didn’t help me much except by bringing misery upon me. Though, who was I to fight against a supernatural being? I’m only human after all, or at least in most parts. If I hadn’t had this curse, I would have died a long time ago.

A distant and melodic sound reached my ears. Was I imagining it? My mind was too fuzzy to distinguish it clearly except for the melody. But I was sure of one thing.

“It’s not just another love song… I heard it… before…” I whispered between ragged breaths. “But where? It’s… so familiar…”

I was too weak to resist. This melody was so captivating that I couldn't stop my body from heading toward its source, despite my priority being to get to my hotel.

Step by step I wandered to the other side of the street and walked straight, guiding myself only by trusting my ears. I walked, staggered, but didn’t fall. I couldn’t.

My vision was a little blurry because of this song, and my world was quietly spinning around me—something that hadn’t happen before with just my fatigue.

I turned left into another large street, and under a streetlight was the source of this song. I was so close, and yet the sound felt so far from me.

The frail figure in pajamas in front of my eyes felt too familiar. The voice, despite being the first time I heard it sing, was recognizable among a thousand others. But the thing that clicked in my brain was his bald head, shining under the light like a perfectly polished bowling ball.

“Naoto…?” I uttered with difficulty, almost throwing up.

He stopped staring at the sky, mouth wide as he sang. All sounds faded and he slowly turned toward me. I didn’t know how he could have even heard my voice under his own. Something was off.

“Ryota!” He said with a full smile across his face, standing straighter than he ever had before, an attitude too strange for someone singing in the middle of the night and right in the middle of the street.

As I approached under the streetlight next to his, where he could discern me better, his face slowly changed from a smile to more disgusted, frightened expression. I could easily understand why, and I couldn’t blame him. He could judge me or judge my actions. Nothing would take me back and change what I did.

“What happened to you Ryota? Are you okay? Do you need water? An ambulance? Do I have to carry you?” He rushed to me in panic, the terror audible in his voice.

I didn’t do anything, I just watched what he would do. It wasn’t like I could do anything. Strangely, I would have avoided anyone else, but with him I didn’t care how he would see me.

He tried to inspect my clothes and body but hesitated to touch me because of the blood. Maybe he was scared of it or didn’t want to stain his pajamas. But he finally managed to put my arm around his shoulder to support me and prevent me from collapsing.

“He’s going to break like cardboard under my weight…” It was the only thing I could think as he tried to lean me more against him. He saw that I could fall at any moment—how kind of him.

But something was still bothering me.

“Blood… no… worry… I’ve still got… things to do… A disruptive element… eliminated.”

My words came out of my mouth not the way I intended. Was it because I was tired? Or was it because my mind was still fuzzy due to the song? Strange. Too strange.

Naoto hadn’t spoken since and just looked around for something, though obviously I didn’t know what.

Despite trying to act tough, I could feel his body shivering from the cold. He was too lightly dressed to be out so late at night.

“Why… are you here… Naoto? You are… freezing cold.”

He didn’t answer and continued to look around. Though, from my perspective it now looked more like he was watching something. I couldn’t see nor feel any presence despite trying to look the same way as him.

“Naoto… Haven't people come to… complain about your… singing? Why are you singing here… in the middle of the night… in the first place?” I coughed.

He finally focused onto me and came back to reality as if he had just been torn away from another world. His breathing was ragged and he was sweating. What did he see?

“My song?” He said, calmly returning to normal.

“This man… there’s something… he’s usually just a frightened kitten… but now…”

“Even I don’t know why I sing it. It just stays in my mind constantly, and I think I inherited that from my mother. But I heard once that there was a meaning behind it…”

“And… what is it?”

“I don’t why I go out to sing it just like that in the night instinctively… but apparently when I feel like doing so, it always means that something really bad will happen soon after…”

I pushed his arm away, staggering back while looking at him with wide eyes.

“No… no! No! NO! If it was already him the other time… with what happened… I can’t let that be true… but… but everything I thought couldn't be possible just is, out of nowhere!”

He looked at me, perplexed, one eyebrow raised.

“But don’t worry, Ryota. Nothing says that this is true. My mother was kinda crazy, so she could have told that to me as a joke.” He said cheerfully.

“You’re the one who is crazy…” I whispered so as not to be heard.

“Do you need to go somewhere you can be safe? I can help you.”

“You can… go home.” I replied dryly.

“Oh no, I insist. Look at you, you wouldn’t even be able to walk a few meters before crashing onto the ground.”

“He won’t leave me… and it’s not like I can run.” I clicked my tongue.

“So?”

“Hotel. I need to go… to my room… to change… and wash.” I answered, resigned. “It’s not like I have a choice… Once I arrive, I’ll send him away and lock my door.”

He grabbed my arm once again and followed my lead in the direction of the hotel, where we finally arrived after a long zombie-like walk.

The hotel’s entrance was still lit due to the night reception service, but I would have to move quickly to avoid drawing the attention from the receptionist.

“You can… leave me here.” I said.

“Oh no. I’ll guide you to your room. I know I don’t look like the kind of guy you can count on because of my poor muscles… but I’ll help you until you feel better!”

“Damn… he really won’t leave… we’ll have to be discreet… and I’ll have to be careful in my room.”

We entered as quietly as possible. I looked over the counter and my fears vanished instantly. The receptionist had fallen asleep, to my great delight. We could walk through the reception area without fear.

With Naoto’s help, I climbed the stairs little by little, remembering the feeling in my gut of what had happened the last time I took them. I could clearly envision that blue light right in front of my eyes in this very moment—just a hallucination this time, a fading memory.

There was my room. I entered and Naoto let go of my arm so I could go straight to the bathroom. I left the door open to see what he was doing while I washed my face, hands, and the few bloodstains that were not mine on my body.

He was exploring, touching a little bit of everything. He tried the bed, leaning onto it, putting himself under the sheet, testing the bounce of the mattress. He then tried to weigh some objects here and there with a curious look on his face. It was as if it had been his own room. He acted as if he owned the place and did as he pleased, without considering that it might bother me.

I kept an eye on him in case he did something strange if I left leave him alone for a second.

I did my hair and grabbed some sweatpants, a clean sweater, and a t-shirt to change and be dressed more appropriately. No time for a shower—I would take it later. I put on some deodorant for now.

When I got out of the bathroom, he entered it to inspect.

“What is he doing? I won’t dare to ask… just a bit more and it’ll be good.”

I went to the wardrobe next to the bed and pushed it aside with what little strength I had. I didn’t care if he saw me. He could watch if he wanted. It wouldn’t change anything.

Behind the wardrobe I found the hole I had made before, and when I searched inside it I found my notebooks, intact and still there. I let a faint smile appear on my face.

I went back to the door and pulled out of my backpack the notebook I found in Hayate’s hangar. I opened it and opened one of mine to start searching for something that could help me decipher this language.

“Found it!” I exclaimed as I found what I had been searching for after skimming through three of my notebooks.

I felt a breath rising in the hollow of my neck.

“Oh, you can read that too?” Naoto asked in playful astonishment.

I turned in a jolted movement, stepping back as I saw his falsely innocent smile spreading from ear to ear, his bald head shining.

“What… what do you mean, Naoto?”