Did I just die?

“Did I just die?”

The fact that he could ask such a question would have implied a negative answer, but the last several seconds played over in his mind. A child. A ball. Headlights.

“Freaking isekai trucks,” another voice responded in the darkness. “They have no subtlety. Or accuracy.”

He whirled around, searching out the source of the voice. It was feminine, that much was clear, as it grumbled and whined.

“Hey, genius, behind you,” she said, and he turned again to a direction he was only facing a few seconds ago. This time, he was staring face to face with a young woman on a marble throne. “Hello, hello, pleased to make my acquaintance. I am the goddess of light, Lumina.”

He stared, slack jawed, trying to collect himself. “I’m sorry… you said pleased to—”

“I know what I said,” she cut him off, tipping her chin up and away from him. Her silver white hair shook along the length of her body, as her pink remnant flowed like a vapour around her body. “I have summoned you, Eugi Sakamoto, for an important quest. I knew that only you would demonstrate the bravery and courage to save that illusion of a child.”

“Um, well—”

“It will be perilous,” she continued, a fan in hand obscuring her face. “Difficult, even. A true test of character. A judgement of your very being. But in all of your world, I could only find a single man with the courage and moral fibre to—”

“Goddess, I—”

“Don’t interrupt!” she snapped, batting him over the head with the fan. “Now, where was I? Uh, the moral fibre to… no, of a… Damn it, you threw off my rhythm.” She glared, scowling. “Look, point is that I got a problem. And my boss — yes, my BOSS — wants me to deal with it. And with your background, despite pretending to be just a normal Japanese man, I really need you to kick the demon lord out of the south and banish him to the north again!”

He rubbed his head, sore from the impact. “I… sorry, I’m a bit confused.”

“Oh, don’t play dumb, Eugi Sakamoto. Son of billionaire politician Hiroto Sakamoto. Seven dan in sword training. The top in both athletics and academics in your university. The—”

“I’m not Eugi Sakamoto,” he finally spoke up, a hand protectively covering his head.

“...Sorry, what?” She finally stopped speaking, her head tilting slightly as she just blinked at him. “You’re not Eugi Sakamoto?”

“No,” he slowly answered. “I’m actually—”

“Why are you not Eugi Sakamoto!?” she exploded, standing from the marble throne. “I specifically made it appear that that child would be hit right in front of Eugi Sakamoto.”

“It was a busy street!” he argued back, waving his hands for emphasis. “I don’t know, maybe he also was about to try and push that child out of the way, but— OW!” His hand shot back to his crown as the fan again smacked it. “I was just saying that—”

“Bring me Eugi Sakamoto!” the goddess demanded, stomping her foot on the raised platform. “I need Eugi Sakamoto! I didn’t put in an order request just to wind up with a two-bit nobody like—”

“Two-bit!? Lady, I’ll have you know that I— Will you stop hitting me with that fan!?” His hand shot out and caught it on the retreat, plucking it from her unexpectant hand. “How. Do. You. Like. It?” he asked as he rapped her on the head with it.

“Ouchy! Give that back!” she demanded, one of her hands trying to take it while her main focus was simply attempting to block him from returning her unprecedented strikes. “Please, I’m sorry. Just quit hitting me!”

He finally stopped as she begged. “Alright then,” he sighed as he handed back the fan, “can you send me back?”

“Back? Back where?”

“What do you mean ‘back where’? Back home!”

“But you haven’t picked out your home yet. I can set you up in a nice plains cottage though, or in the city. Or how about—”

“I’m not talking about your world,” he interrupted. “I mean back to Tokyo.”

“Oh? Oh… oooooooh…….” She slowly looked away, her fan creeping up her face until it almost covered her eyes, but she still peeked over it back at him as he waited expectantly. “Yeah… I kind of can’t do that? I mean, the delivery service is something of a one way ticket, and I would need to contact the god of your world to get you back in there.”

“Then call him up! Or whatever you have to do!” he exploded.

“Oh goddess no!” she snapped back, though her attention wasn’t on him. “He’s a huge stickler for the rules, and if he finds out that I plucked someone from his world by mistake… yeah, no, we’re just going to have to make the best of this situation,” she insisted, sitting back onto her throne.

“Lady, I don’t want to live in your world. If it has even half of the incompetence that you clearly do, then—”

“Please, I’m begging you here,” she insisted, looking at him. “I’ll grant you a power, a goddess blessing, and drop you right in a cushy town. How does that sound? It’s not unlike your video games in your world; monsters, magic, adventurers,” she insisted.

He slowed down, considering it. Her face held no malice or deceit, and he doubted she may even be capable of it, instead simply and sincerely resolute to not return him. “Ok… that doesn’t sound like the worst place to live.”

“Exactly, exactly, it’s exciting!” she cheered, again jumping from her seat as she seemed to be getting her way. “So, I have to save some power for the real Eugi Sakamoto, but in the meantime, I can spare some to give you any skill you want!”

“Like, any kind of skill?”

“Yes yes.” The goddess waved her hand, pacing around. “You died saving a child, so I will give you a divine ability in your next life.” Her focus shifted, looking past him. He couldn’t help but glance behind but saw nothing but the same void that surrounded them.

“Can I have an appraisal skill?” he finally asked

“HELL NO!” she screamed, whirling back to him, jolted from whatever had held her attention. “Do you know how many Japanese men get an appraisal skill and then just go ham with it?!? It’s not meant to be special! Stop breaking our worlds with them,” she ranted, wagging her fan at him. “So help me, if I give out one more appraisal skill… I think I’m just going to nuke my whole world and start all over again. UNDERSTAND!?”

He stiffened, uncertain of how legitimate of a threat that was. “Alright, alright, then… strength? Or powerful magic? Or something that would make life super easy for me?”

“What part of ‘I have to save some power’ was unclear?” she asked, exasperated. “I am not omnipotent, or there wouldn’t be a demon lord that needs an ass whopping!”

“Ok. Then I would like—”

“Yes, hello!” Lumina suddenly called out, waving her fan wildly toward someone behind him. He turned, but still saw nothing. “Look, I’ll get you something good,” she quickly said as she looked at him. “Good luck, not-Eugi!” she shouted as he suddenly felt himself falling, the air sucked from his lungs. “Yes, yes, I’d like to reorder…” came her voice as it faded above him.

Darkness surrounded him as he plummeted, faster and faster. The air escaped his lungs, refusing to return. He gasped, reaching out, somehow the darkness blurring by as the wind roared in his ears. It took on distant voices, becoming more and more distinct by the second. The blurs and speeding shapes slowed, still indistinct and bloblike. His sense of falling slowed until he felt like he was merely hovering, then the solid air suddenly opened, and he dropped, as if in a dream.

“AH!” he screamed as he opened his eyes.

A few dozen men and women surrounded him in a massive circle, staring silently. He found himself lying on a stone floor, indoors. Windows revealed it was still daylight out, though most of the light inside came from candle lanterns that gave the interior a warm glow. Tables and stools took up the majority of the room he could see, in the cracks between bodies. The people all looked surprised or suspicious as he looked around, realizing he was curled on his side in the fetal position. “Um… Hello,” he slowly said, trying to climb to his feet. His body wouldn’t obey, however, a sudden weariness overtaking him, and he was forced to awkwardly roll to his knees.

Slowly, a woman stepped forward from the crowd circling him. “Hello?” She looked down at him with a confused expression. “Sorry, who are you?”

“I’m A—” He stopped, realizing the truth that he did not have to answer to any name, except the one he chose there and then. And in a second, a name came to mind. “Call me Lorenzo.”