Twilight

Plonk.

Plonk.

Plonk.

“Ughhhhh.”

Aya’s head met the black and white keys again and again in a clash for understanding, for repose, for regret.

What happened? Why’d she just run off like that?

She pushed herself up, stumbling out of the room to get some water.

Did she really just hate my playing? Am I not cut out for this?

Dazed fingers grazed the porcelain handle, teetering the cup in the air underneath the filter, the afternoon glow filling the room with a haze.

What do I do now? That was my only chance.

She stumbled through the hallway.

Maybe they were right after all.

Reaching the sofa, she fell back into it and-

Crash!

In her stupor she had totally misjudged the distance and had instead fallen onto the floor. She lay there for a second, crumpled and aching. It felt fitting. Her mind kept racing though, replaying the scenario over and over, until a single frame surfaced: the look of involuntary disgust rippling through Hanako’s quietly controlled face. She heaved a sigh.

I guess it was just fanciful thinking after all.

She pushed herself up with a quiet new strength, setting her cup on the table as she tidied up the miniature impact crater her little spat had left before heading towards the scores stacked on top of the piano. She resolutely piled them up together and brought them to the trash can.

However, a little voice within her kept resisting, kicking and screaming and crying with all its might to the unfeeling walls she had put up. While she stood there, arms dangling the fate of her books, one lone piece of paper slipped out and floated gently, swaying side to side rhythmically, into the trash, and there it sat, staring back at Aya.

Exhaling, she slowly walked back to the piano to stack all the books back on top. She was too weak to throw it all away like that.

But something has changed. I will change.

Hanako paced back and forth in the living room, like a lost dog trying to find its owner.

Stuck in a stupor for the past couple of days, Hanako was unable to go on her usual walks out of fear of running into Aya, and so for the past few days she was reduced to this state, much to her dismay and the quiet mirth of Taguchi from behind the kitchen counter.

Her socks hit the soft carpet in the same tapping rhythm, the indents beneath her feet growing each lap she made, the sound of the sink running washing out her thoughts, until-

She made a beeline for the door, putting on her disguise like a starved woman being offered food, and darted out the door, earning a casual goodbye from Taguchi.

If I meet her, I can just rip into her anyways about it, no worries.

Although she tried not to think too much about passing Aya’s house, the image of her eyes that only looked at the surface of her being flashed through her mind, an image that she had seen her entire life.

And before she knew it, she was walking past the same neighborhood she had stumbled across two weeks ago, that last time as a complete stranger on the outside looking in, this time as a guest with no intentions of returning.

And yet, something, maybe curiosity or spite, imbued just a little hesitation into her steps, slowing down just slightly in front of the house she had just recently so desperately tried to get into. It was around the same time she always practiced as well, so maybe she could just hear a little bit more before leaving that household behind for good.

She waited, and waited, past the “tiny little stop” she had promised herself, for not a single note to flow out of the house.

She started walking again, shaking her head slowly. But as she walked, her feet began to slow.

Then, a pause.

And with a throaty groan, she turned and stormed up the walkway of Aya’s house before rapping on the door.

A small gasp came from behind the door.

A pause.

And then.

The door creaked open, revealing the shocked face of Aya Minami.

“I thought…”

Hanako sighed.

“Listen. I’m not coming back here, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop playing. Clearly you’re good at it. Even if I don’t like you, just keep going anyways, there’ll be people out there who will enjoy it anyways. Ugh I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. Just keep playing, jeez.”

She turned to leave when the faintest wind carried a soft breathy plea:

“Wait.”
She turned her head around to see Aya shocked once again, but not the shock of seeing someone unexpected at your doorstep, but like a revelation had hit her.

“Did you say…that I was good at playing?”

Now fully facing Aya, Hanako’s annoyance quickly turned into confusion as she scratched her head.

“Well, obviously. I mean, I feel like that was pretty clear.”
“Then, why did-why did you walk out on me?”

So many times before, Hanako wanted to let loose, yell and scream and cry to the world, to every single person who had looked at her that way, let it all out until there was nothing left within her. But seeing Aya before her, all that rage deflated in an instant, and the words, although firm, came out softer than she had imagined.

“Becuase. You didn’t care about me.”

“Wha- I did?!”
“No. You didn’t. All you cared about was using me for your own gains.”

“I…” she stopped.

“Do you understand how hurtful, how demeaning it is to be constantly looked at as a solution to someone’s problems, as an end goal, as a commodity rather than an actual human being? Surrounded by plastic smiles and eyes glued to your every reaction, trying to curry favor from someone who just wanted to have friends. It felt…inhuman.”

“...”

“I know when people see me as just a commodity, and clearly you–what are you doing?”

Aya had knelt down on the floor, head fully touching the ground in a bow.

“I’m so so sorry for looking at you that way.”

“No you don’t have to bo-”

“I was in such a desperate mindset I didn’t realize what I was doing. I realize I really did look at you like that, and for that I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it was something that affected you so deeply. That was my fault, and I apologize.”

“No, no, no, it's fine.” Hanako felt her cheeks warm at the sight of such a sincere performance. “Well, it's not really fine, but still, it’s not enough for you to do all this. It’s just my personal experience, nothing for you to worry about.”

“But I never should’ve thought of you like that, especially after you’ve been so kind to me.”

“Well, I appreciate the apology then.”

Slowly, Aya brought herself back up until they were face to face again.

“I understand if you’re not going to stop by here anymore. In fact, I’m ready to give up my dreams of becoming a pianist. I’ve been ready, I just needed a little push in the right direction.”

A small gasp escaped from Hanako’s lips.

“Wait! You can’t just quit.”

“Well, being a pianist is so far out of my reach there’s nothing I can really do, especially since I need to start helping my mom pay for the house.”

“But you can’t quit! Your playing was so gorgeous, I feel like it could move so many people if you were able to become mainstream. Here, I can begin advertising you as-””

Hanako’s frantic talking fell short as Aya’s finger pressed against her lips.

“What are you saying? You didn’t want to be treated as some fast pass to success, yet here you are bending yourself that same way for someone who wronged you. No, this is what I should’ve done a while ago. It’s okay, I’m happier this way.” She flashed a smile.

“...well, I guess…”

“Alright, now I have to get back to applying for jobs. Thank you for stopping by and complimenting my playing, once again I’m so sorry about how I treated you.”
“...it’s fine.”
“Well…goodbye then.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Creak

Thump