SAN'NIN NO TSUMI/SINS OF THREE.

MONTH THREE.THE ATONEMENT OF HIGANBANA.

Worrying.
This child.

She cries.
Violently.

Walks slowly.
Painfully.

Recalling.
My own walk.

Ages ago.
When my fools errand.

Began.

SAKURA

I can hear her in my head for the first two days.
Talking to me,coaching me into what i will need to do.

How,when,where.
Who.
All of it.
Including Noroi,what i will have to do to him to fix this and save us.

I must die first,she said.
Her name is Higanbana.
She let me see things of her life as well.

How it all along did not start with my grandmother or me with our lack of resolve to let go,to move on.
It began with her.

A crimson daughter from the Heian period who...
Who lost her soul over something unexpectedly impactful.

A simple word that caused a spiral leading to now as we know it,yet.

Who am i to judge?
Look at what i and Grandmother did simply because we could.

We,all three of us have to be stopped.
How can she,Grandmother and i atone otherwise?

I hear him scream in the forest frequently for me,even Higanbana sometimes let's me see him through her minds eye.
He never rests.
Either battle in the day or night and searching for me in the late night hours while Kiko protests with increasing venom he cannot sense due to her greater control of her own power than i had once.

He loves me.
Purely.
I am afraid i did not love him with the same level of purity as i should have.
I would have let my love rest for once,he never has in every life.
Not even in his first.

Tennami mocks his persistence yet continues his own version of pursuit for me,he has no love for me in any life yet the thought of my lacking presence vexs him like it would to someone who must have a clean home to find it utterly filthy at every turn,regardless of effort done.

He has a strange method of thinking and being that is still lost on me and with all my memories of him i care not to know his 'Why' over anything.

I am not his judge but i am not desiring to help him either.

I have to be able to truly reach Noroi now to be free,to break his heart.
Again.
I am always breaking the heart of the only one i wanted to save.

"Forgive me,yet again.My love..."

If that is even possible to do after all we have done.