Lesson Learned

“What are we doing up here?”

“We’re waiting.”

Well, that was obvious.

Zero stared at the angel for several dragging moments, expecting something more of an explanation but receiving nothing before setting his sights on the same thing Ren was staring at: a great big pile of dirt.

The boy didn’t understand it, but the man had been fascinated when they had come across the giant pile of upturned soil earlier. With a giddiness that seemingly appeared out of thin air, he wasted no time in rushing Zero up the nearest tree where they’d sat since midday with the devil watching the sun cross the sky and set beyond the horizon, the night settling comfortably in, while the angel kept his focus on the ground. He had thought at some point that Ren would tell him why they were up there, but his lips remained sealed.

Something that was very unlike the man.

Zero didn’t like this at all.

“Why?” the boy finally asked, realizing that if he didn’t push the issue then there was a good chance he’d remain in the dark in more ways than one.

A grin spread across the man’s face. “You see all that dirt down there?”

Zero really didn’t like this. “Yes.”

“That’s a tunneler,” Ren told him calmly, paying special mind to the volume of his voice. “They only come out at night. We had one outside of Hollis that was wreaking havoc and killed a few people. Sakura ended up sneaking out and exterminating it one night. Raz was so pissed.” He chuckled. “You should have been there.”

The boy waited for him to continue, but the man didn’t.

Zero didn’t really want to ask.

But he did anyways.

“Why are we up here?”

The angel finally looked at him, that familiar manic look in his eyes that hinted at the lunacy that dwelled within that he typically hid so well. “Because you’re going to kill it, boy.”

Of course he was.

Zero should have known.

He observed the mound, unsure of what to expect. “How do I kill it?”

“That’s the fun part.” Ren plopped his hand on the boy’s head and tousled his hair. “You’re gonna figure it out.”

It didn’t sound that fun to Zero.

“Don’t look like that.” His hand slid to the boy’s face, cupping his cheeks and squishing them into a new expression. “This will be good for you. Life’s all about figuring shit out for yourself. You’re seventeen now, you’re not gonna stay little forever. I can’t always be holding your hand. It’ll make you soft. Weak. What kind of papa would I be if I allowed that?”

The devil didn’t answer. Nothing he could say would make any difference. It was best just to get it over with.

They sat in silence, the night dragging further on, and watched the mound that showed no sign of movement. It seemed as though Ren had been wrong, that there was nothing but dirt beneath them, and Zero felt the relief begin to settle within him. Though the man thrived on fighting and exterminating—none of which he actually ever did himself—the boy didn’t feel the same. It had been difficult in the beginning. Not so much physically, but on a deeper level, one that was a struggle for him to comprehend. All he knew was how his heart constricted, and he was filled with grief at having to be the one to cause any kind of suffering. How he never wanted to cause harm to anything.

Still, he did it. Not because Ren wanted him to.

But because deep down he knew he had to.

Because he couldn’t spend another moment being weak.

Chancing losing everything again.

But that didn’t mean that he wanted to kill whatever it was that Ren was so interested in, and it was starting to look like he wouldn’t have to. That they would spend their night waiting with nothing to show for it.

But Zero was never so lucky.

It was small at first, barely noticeable, a benign churning of the soil that rolled away from the center as it rose and separated. Fingers that weren’t his pressed against the devil’s lips, and he turned to the angel staring at him, one finger against his own. Ren nodded towards the ground and Zero knew that whether or not he liked it, that it was time.

The boy stood and reached for the hilt of one of his katanas, but the man’s hand covered his own and he shook his head, his lips silently moving.

Quiet.

Why did Ren always have to make things so difficult?

Zero looked back to watch the huge, smooth-bodied creature surface, its long nose and whiskers twitching as it sniffed the night air, clawed feet pulling itself further from its hiding place. There was the gentlest of taps against his calf, just barely there.

It was time to go.

The boy leaned forward and toppled over away from the branch, rushing to the ground headfirst. Quickly, he drew his katana, the hiss of the blade loud in his own ears like a scream shattering the silence. And it was loud to the tunneler as well, the pest’s head whipping towards the sound as its body twisted away. Zero landed, missing his mark, and he lunged forward, burying the blade deep into the side of tunneler’s neck. The beast shrieked and rolled from the pain, pulling the katana from the devil’s grasp, and claiming it for its own. He stared in disappointment at his now empty hands, the sound of the man’s distant laughter rolling into his ears.

It was going to be a long night.

Zero unsheathed the second katana and followed after the tunneler, slashing at its retreating body while trying to reclaim his sword, the hilt slipping past his fingers at each unsuccessful grab. With failure after failure and the merging of the beast’s screaming and angel’s laughter beating down on the boy, his mind became crowded with the noise, and he was unable to connect to any of the jumbled mess, creating a desperation within him.

Impatience.

He just wanted it to be over.

There was no thought, no plan, as he rushed towards the pest, the second katana entering its body next to the first. Zero reached and took hold of the elusive hilt.

Finally.

Just as the pest took hold of him.

Long claws pierced through him, tearing at his body, ripping him apart piece by piece, limbs and chunks of him being flung away. It was so sudden, so quick, that all he could do was open his mouth, unable to even utter the first note of any sound as the tunneler’s mouth enclosed over his head, teeth at his neck, and bit down.

Darkness.

Again.

Descending deeper and deeper into its eternal embrace.

Until the sharpness shot through his head and his eyes opened to the blood-stained dirt pressed against his cheek. Slowly, his arms went under him, and he pushed his way up to sitting.

Ren was crouched in front of him, his over-sized sword resting over his shoulder casually, as though he had found some interesting stick or stone on the ground while taking a stroll that required his closer examination. He reached out, running his fingers through the devil’s hair and down his throat, pausing on the seamless skin between neck and shoulders. “You okay, boy?” he asked, not even the slightest hint of his earlier amusement in his voice. “That was one hell of a massacre.”

Zero looked down, his body bare but intact. “Yeah.”

“Sorry about that. It was my fault. I should have told you how to handle a tunneler.” The man removed his hand and sheathed his sword before grabbing the boy’s bag and rummaging through it. “It really tore you up. Took me a while to find most of the pieces and put them together. I figured you’d heal quicker that way, and what I couldn’t find found its way back to you. Then, you turned, but I knocked you good before anything could come from it. Here.” He held out a shirt and pair of pants to Zero. “We’ll get you something new in the next town.”

The devil nodded and took the clothes, pulling on the shirt before standing to put on the pants. But at the sight around him, he froze, unable to do what he intended. His eyes scoured over the bits of flesh and blood and broken bone that had been strewn over the forest floor like confetti. He wouldn’t have even known what he was really looking at if not for the tunneler’s head a short ways off, rolled on its side as its mouth gaped open and closed in silent agony.

Zero stared down at the man whose fingers were picking at the earth under him. “What did you do?”

Ren sighed, his hand rubbing at the back of his head before peering up at the boy in a way he had never seen before. With shame. “I made it suffer,” he muttered, quickly glancing away as though he were a child waiting to be scorned.

The boy looked around again, the sight even more horrendous the second time. “Why?”

“I didn’t mean to,” the angel confessed as he stood. “I just... kinda lost it there for a moment.”

It seemed like a lot more than just losing it for a moment.

“Is this why you don’t kill pests?” Zero asked.

“Not exactly. It used to be a problem when I was younger, and this is what always happened. But I learned how to control it.” Ren observed the disaster around him. “Well, mostly. If it’s just me, I do fine. I don’t like it when things that are mine are taken from me, though.”

“Things that are yours?”

“Yeah. You.” The man smiled. So sweet. So doting. “You’re mine. My precious little boy that I love more than the world itself. That’s why I need you to be stronger. So you can take care of yourself. It’s one thing if I do this to a pest. It’s another if I do it to a person. That’ll cause some issues that will make it difficult for me to be with you. But if I need to, I will. Anything for you, boy.” He placed his hand on top of Zero’s head and tilted it back, pressing his lips to his forehead.

“What kind of issues?”

“My cushy lease on life will expire, and the heavens will take whatever means necessary to end it. I’d really like to avoid that.”

Zero nodded, wanting to avoid that as well. The man could be obnoxious and loud, more bothersome than not, but there was no one that Zero wanted more than Ren to guide his way.

To be his papa.

“I’m glad we agree.” Ren patted the devil’s cheek roughly and spun on his heels, grabbing their bags and the katanas, and meandering away. “Come on, put your pants on. We’ll find a place to camp for the rest of the night and head out tomorrow.”

The boy complied and went to join the man as he stood beside the tunneler’s head.

“Go ahead.” Ren handed over the katanas. “Put it out of its misery. Right between its ears.”

Zero placed the tip of the blade against the creature’s skull and pushed it through, the scattered pieces melting into black mud to coat the earth.

“See.” The angel wrapped his arm around the devil’s shoulders and led him away. “I knew you could do it.”