Chapter 35:

Hammerschlaged

En Passant Grandmaster Volume 6

Back on the women's side, tensions were heated following Jadwiga's humiliating defeat. On board 3, Maria trembled as she opened the game by moving her pawn to e4. "My hair... You don't know the torment I've been put through by that bald fetishist of a teacher!" she thought as Utami moved her pawn to e5. "My online career was nearly sunk, oh but Mizuse, sweet, sweet, Mizuse, just so happened to throw me a lifeline. Now I can pass the bald off as going "peak femininity". But don't think I'm happy about being bald one bit! This is all your fault! I'm going to get my revenge here," she thought as she moved her knight to f3.

As soon as Utami moved her knight to c6, Maria wasted no time in moving her bishop to b5. "You want a draw now? After all that rage? Pathetic," Utami scoffed in her mind as she moved her knight to f6.

The Ruy López Opening: Berlin Defense was infamous in the fact that it more than often led to drawn games. This was especially true at the top level, however, that was only if the players played well. Though as soon as Maria castled king's side, Utami knew things were going to be a slog.

"The Ruy López Opening: Berlin, l'Hermet, Berlin Wall Defense, that's what she's going for. Mimoko-sama told me of how drawish it can be, yet it strikes me odd that Maria the bald would settle for a draw given her fuss earlier. Perhaps if I push, she'll crack," Utami thought as she captured the pawn at e4 with her knight.

Things continued down the normal line with d4, knight d6, bishop captures c6, d captures c6, d captures e5, and knight f5 before finally...

"Check!"

Maria captured the queen at d8 with her queen. Now Utami was left with no other legal move but to capture the queen at d8 with her king, which she did so with an annoyed scowl.

"Oh YOU'RE scowling!? Think I want this to end in a draw!?" Maria thought as she moved her knight to c3.

"She's frustrated. In that case, I should egg her on," Utami thought as she relaxed her expression and moved her bishop to d7.

Maria's face instantly began twitching in fury. "Oh, you think I'll settle for just a draw!? NEVER! MY PRIDE, MY TURQUOISE AFRO... ALL SHAVED OFF ALONG WITH MY BROWS AND LASHES BECAUSE OF YOU! And after what your comrade did to Jadwiga, I MUST WIN FOR PRIDE AND COUNTRY!" she fumed in her mind as she moved her pawn to g4.

"Getting aggressive. Perhaps Iori earns some praise for calling out that haughty girl's mental state. That's probably what'll push everyone to play harder than usual," Utami thought as she moved her knight to e7.

On board 4, Iori had opened her game by moving her pawn to f3, irking Zosia as she responded by moving her pawn to e5. But her anger only got worse as Iori slammed her king down on f2, playing the Hammerschlag Opening.

"That woman... She's mocking us... THEY'RE ALL MOCKING US!" Zosia thought as she brought her queen out to f6.

"Hook, line, and sinker, wonder what the commentators think," Iori thought as she moved her pawn to c4.

The commentators had shifted focus elsewhere, but if they were still watching, they'd gasp in shock as Zosia's play of bishop to e7 completely evened the game. Iori could sense it and moved her pawn to e3, but Zosia couldn't and moved her knight to c6. More natural moves like knight c3, queen h6, d4, and f5 followed before Iori decided to play d5, sending Zosia's knight to b4.

Next came e4, and this time, Zosia took the bait.

"Check, you'll pay for mocking us like that," Zosia glared as she moved her bishop to c5.

"And the king says, lame-o," Iori thought as she slid her king to e1.

What followed next was the seemingly innocent play of queen to h5, but as soon as Iori saw it, she let loose a maniacal grin as she moved her pawn to a3, knowing that the game was now hers.

Zosia simply excused Iori's behavior and moved her knight to a6, and it seemed to be warranted as Iori capturing the pawn at f5 with her e-pawn decreased her edge slightly. But Zosia moving her knight out to h6 only gave Iori her edge back and then some.

"And now we kick the queen," Iori thought as she moved her pawn to h4.

The move prompted Zosia to capture the pawn at f5 with her queen, but Iori's focus was elsewhere as she moved her pawn to b4, prompting Zosia to move her bishop to d4. But g-knight to e2 once again put Zosia's bishop in danger, yet rather than defend or trade, Zosia castled king's side.

"Yup, we got a castle cuck over here. Well thanks for the meal!" Iori giddily thought as she captured the knight at d4 with her knight.

Zosia shook her head and just captured said knight with her e-pawn, but gritted her teeth as soon as Iori captured the pawn at d4 with her queen, as now she was a pawn down.

"Like I'd lose to you after what you played, and what happened to Jadwiga," Zosia thought as she gritted her teeth and moved her pawn to c5.

Iori simply ate that pawn up by capturing it with her b-pawn, but Zosia had a plan and moved her queen to g6. Not a great plan though, as Iori moved her bishop to d3, prompting Zosia to defend by moving her knight to f5.

"Lol, I take," Iori thought as she simply captured the knight at f5 with her bishop.

Zosia simply captured said bishop with her rook, but now Iori could move her knight to e4. Zosia failed to see the significance of the move and moved her pawn to b6, hoping to create counterplay elsewhere, but she soon saw what Iori was planning when she moved her rook to h3.

"Like I'll allow it! Try me!" Zosia thought as she captured the pawn at c5, prompting Ioei to mover her queen to c3.

A smile lit up on Zosia's face as now she was free to capture the pawn at g2 with her queen. Iori simply moved her rook to g3, seemingly trapping the queen, but Zosia knew better.

"Check, did you really think that would work? Now suffer for your sins," Zosia glared as she moved her queen to h1.

Iori responded by sticking her tongue out and moving her king to e2.

"Check! Does proper sportsmanship escape you too!?" Zosia fumed as she slammed her queen down on h2.

Iori simply waved her fingers as she slid her king to e3. Now Zosia couldn't deliver anymore checks and had to make a new move, that move being rook to f7. Bishop b2 though put Zosia on edge as mate was on the table if she didn't respond properly. She felt king f8 did the trick, but Iori then boldly captured the pawn at g7 with her rook.

"Oh? You want to play hardball? Well hardball, you'll get! Check!" Zosia fumed as she slammed her queen down on f4.

"Whoa, someone's pissed... Lol," Iori thought as she moved her king to e2.

"You think I'll let you escape!? Check!" Zosia glared as she moved her queen to h2.

"And time to slalom away from a perpetual," Iori thought as she smirked and moved her king to d1.

Zosia's scowl began to worsen as she went for another check by moving her queen to h1, but Iori's king was now able to escape to c2, and open up the path for the rook to attack the queen.

With a click of her tongue, Zosia captured the pawn at f3 with her queen, expecting a queen trade, but Iori had other plans.

"Check. Bout time I can get a word in. So how's it feel knowing you bout to be Hammerschlaged?" Iori snickered as she moved her rook to g8.

"Huh? What's she talking about?" Zosia scoffed in her mind as she captured the rook at g8 with her king.

"Lol, I checkmate ya! Boom! You just got Hammerschlaged, bitch!" Iori snickered as she slammed her queen down on h8, winning the game.

Zosia stared in disbelief before reality set in and she went pale. "NO! I lost to that insult of an opening!? Jadwiga... I'm sorry!" she thought as she began to tear up.

The full game:

White: Iori Ishikiridokoro (2444) Black: DSPCM Zosia Żewłakowa (2476)

1. f3 e5

2. Kf2 Qf6

3. c4 Be7

4. e3 Nc6

5. Nc3 Qh6

6. d4 f5

7. d5 Nb4

8. e4 Bc5+

9. Ke1 Qh5

10. a3 Na6