Chapter 1

                                                                     Gerda

“Do you really know how to fly it?”, Kaya asked.

I shrugged and turned to look out the window of the space elevator, trying to keep our interactions to a minimum. It began to accelerate through the thick layer of clouds, and I cast one last glance at the ground disappearing beneath us before turning back to her.

“Don’t worry, it’s all automatic. Do you have the launch codes?”

"Y-yes..."

She flinched at my question and nervously started to fumble through her bag. Fuck...

“Relax… Enjoy the view or something.”

I frowned at her, hoping it would bring her back into line, but, as always, she stayed oblivious to any subtlety.

“H-here…”

She held up a small laminated card, smiling like she had won the lottery. As she reached out to hand it to me, she stumbled, but I grabbed her arm before she lost balance and brought even more attention to us than she already had.

“Watch out”

“I-I am sorry..." she whispered, lowering her gaze.

Fuck. We were barely three hours into our escape, and I already regretted the idea. Maybe joining the Navy wouldn’t have been that bad. After all, they fed you and gave you a place to stay.

No… I shook my head. It would have driven me insane. I hated the order and discipline that those places enforced, and my four years in the Youth Explorers had already driven me nuts.

I sighed. But there had been free food in their Youth Centre, so I had suffered their ridiculous games and events. The only other alternative had been to go home, be  hungry and spend the rest of the evening with the Bitch. At least I had learned a few things in my time there. They may come in handy on our journey. Assuming, of course, we wouldn’t get caught.

I frowned. At least she seemed to be doing okay. She was standing with her face glued to the window and a mindless expression on her face. Luckily, she didn’t stand out too much, as most of the losers riding with us were also staring at the clouds passing by outside.

Some random event in the past that no one cared about had been made into a national holiday, so this year we got a long weekend, and considering how packed the elevator was, the idiots must believe it was best spent in an overpriced hotel on the orbit. Another ridiculous trend that would soon be forgotten, but at least it gave us a chance to get lost in the crowd and go unnoticed.

A soft ding rang in the cabin, announcing the departure from Stratosphere, and the lights dimmed in preparation for the ‘best viewing experience’ as promised in those ads that even I had managed to see. I turned away from the window and leant against the cold glass, taking hold of her arm.

“Don’t look."

"B-but..."

“You will get sick.”

It wasn’t a lie. Most people got sick when they saw the vastness of space for the first time, and I didn’t want to take any chances.

"But…but the view…”

She looked at me like she could burst into tears at any moment. Fuck, why did she need to be like this?

“Don’t worry, it looks even better from orbit. You miss nothing."

“R-really?”

“Yeah,” I nodded

“T-tell me..."

She smiled, and I sighed. At least I’d got her attention, so I began to infodump all the nonsense about deep space I'd learnt during my time in the Youth Explorers.

At least it kept her quiet as we continued up to the orbit, but I promised myself I would never again babysit her like this, and even if she wanted to explore the outside of the airlock without an EVA suit or do something equally stupid, I would let it be.

I was neither a social worker nor her friend. She had a ship, or rather access to one, and I knew how to fly it, kind of, and both of us wanted to leave this shit hole, even if for totally different reasons. It was just a convenient deal that brought us together, nothing else.

                                                                           Kaya

When I learnt that my parents weren't really my parents, everything made sense in a sad way.

Why they’d never cared. Why they would always leave me alone. All those questions suddenly got answered by an old folder I’d found on the holodrive lying at the bottom of a box, stuck with other unwanted items in the basement of our home.

Would it be different if I had never found it? Was ignorance better than the hard truth, even though it had finally given some sense to my world?

I knew those were pointless questions, but they kept popping into my head every time the world around me went still. So even though I barely understood what Gerda was talking about as we rode the space elevator to orbit, I was happy for her company.

She was my friend, or, to be more accurate, someone as close to a friend as I’d ever had. Without any meaningful reference point, it was difficult to be sure what our relationship really was.

We had known each other for just over a week, even though in reality we had spent the last three years sharing the same classroom. But we had never really spoken before. It wasn’t as strange as it might sound, since barely anyone spoke to me in the first place, and Gerda rarely talked to anyone in our class, preferring her own company.

But rather than like in the movies, where two loners somehow find solace in each other's company, we’d drifted more and more apart, or, rather, we weren’t close enough to begin with to have an opportunity for any meaningful interaction. Until last week when…

“Kaya!”

She suddenly jerked my hand, breaking my stream of thoughts. I anxiously turned to her, wondering what I had missed. She always looked so serious, and I really hoped she didn't see me as a burden. I was almost as old as she was, and I could contribute to our journey just as she did. At least that’s what I hoped for. I hated when people treated me like a child. I might be different, but I was still almost an adult.

“We need to go."

She yanked my hand again and pulled me towards the exit, and only then did I notice that the cabin was almost empty and the elevator seemed to have stopped.

“D-did we dock?”

“Yeah”, she said without looking at me.

She was still holding my hand, so I was forced to follow her even if she walked faster than I would have wanted to.

I tried to prepare myself for the imminent discomfort of the crowded dock, but it went too fast, and the moment we passed through the automatic customs, a cacophony of sounds and bright lights washed over me.