GAH!!!

“Dear, you know what I want more than anything?”

“A puppy?”

Gloria stared at her husband Dazza with a blank expression. “I’ll stab you.”

“Then what?” He asked, a slight smirk peeling up his face.

“Eggs.”

“Eggs?”

“Eggs!”

Dazza stared blankly, as if all the life from his existence had left him. “Why do you want eggs?”

“For something more important than anything.”

Dazza bit his lip. “Alright, I’ll snatch some from the cyber turtle Snurpy. I’ll do anything for you babe.”

“Thanks babe.”

The year 3033 was a rough year for the planet Glizzie. Snurpy, the magical Snurping turtle, cursed the lands. Not an egg was laid. Barren. Empty. Devoid of all eggistence. All but Snurpy eggs. Eldritch horror entities. Sealed for those maddened, consumed by the insanity of everyday life.

Days past by and Dazza remained radio silent. Not a word, not a sound.

Until.

He returned.

Bloodied.

Bruised.

But with eggs.

“Dear. I fought through hell and back. Shot by quantum hunters and stabbed by the thorns of the click-click tree. I locked eyes with Snurpy himself. But alas, I brought you his eggs.”

“Oh my god! You did it!”

“Anything for you babe.”

“I can’t believe you did all that for me.”

Dazza pulled Gloria in. “I’d do anything for you.”

Her face flushed red, as she averted her gaze to the ground.

“Thanks dear.”

“Now babe, tell me one thing. What are those eggs for?”

“Oh! I wanted an egg sandwich.”

Dazza stared blankly. Perhaps it was the blood loss. Or perhaps it was the antics of his wife. But he couldn't muster anything. He hopped on a one-way ticket to the depths of hell and somehow managed to make it back. All for what?

An egg sandwich.