Chapter 1: After the Sudden Proposal【唐突な婚約のあとで】

Ray (Selesta)’s Perspective

“…As you command.”

The instant the words left my lips, my mind went blank.

My own voice, cast back to me by the pointlessly lofty ceiling of the audience chamber, reached me a heartbeat too late. Only then did the embarrassment strike, hot and merciless.

What am I saying?

And yet, there had been nothing else I could have said.

Before I could think, before I could stop myself, the answer had already slipped free.

I had come for nothing more than a routine report on a monster-subjugation mission. I had noticed, of course, the absurd volume of papers spread before Her Majesty. But how could I have known they were all letters begging for her hand?

A proposal.

And of all people—

To me?

Beneath that unwavering gaze of hers, so direct it felt almost cruel, there had been no room for silence, no refuge in hesitation. Heat rushed into my face.

I am a knight.

I bear a sword. I have sworn my loyalty to Her Majesty.

If she commands, I obey. That is my duty.

So to answer As you command should have been the most natural thing in the world.

…It should have been.

Then why?

Why was it only those words that caught so painfully inside me, like a barb lodged deep in my chest?

My heartbeat refused to steady. My breaths came shallow and thin. A dull weight pressed into the depths of my shoulders, and even my armor seemed heavier than usual—so heavy it felt as though it might drag me to the floor.

No… I need to leave. Now.

I turned and left the throne room as quickly as dignity allowed.

I sensed the other knights calling after me, but I passed them with no more than the briefest acknowledgment. Through the waiting chamber, past the saluting guards, straight toward my horse.

At the very least, I had managed not to break into a run. Perhaps, to the younger knights watching, I still seemed composed.

Perhaps I even looked unshaken.

But inside, I was falling apart.

Her Majesty’s words would not leave me. They rang through me again and again, refusing to fade.

“Will you become my consort?”

No… you mustn’t say that… not to me…

I am not a man.

I am living a lie.

Since the day I entered her service—no, long before even that—I have remained at your side behind a borrowed shape.

And still—

When you look at me like that, without wavering, and place such words in my hands as though they belong there—

I…

Before thought could catch up with me, I was already in the saddle. Even this troublesome horse, who usually made a point of resisting me, offered no complaint today. As if sensing my desperation, it simply ran.

Please… before anyone says anything to me…