ch 12: voices

Rias’ jaw closed shut, biting off a part of her abdomen. His headstrong charge shoved her away, sending her flying into the air as her internal organs gracefully spilled out from where they once resided.

Saya’s body tumbled onto the ground beside Albo. The world tilted, as she heard the faint, metallic clash echoing from the distance.

She was sure it was the Sword Saint, continuing her battle. But she had no energy within her to even try to glance at the conflict.

Despite the freezing stone pressing against her skin, her stomach felt unusually warm, as a spreading, heavy heat soaked through her clothes.

With a final, desperate effort, she turned her eye toward the now still Albo. Strength was leaking out of her, replaced by a cold void where her stomach used to reside.

If Sulva was honorable and kept his end of the deal, then Albo was guaranteed to be saved.

For Saya, that was more than enough.

With the last of her fading energy, she extended her hand until her fingers brushed against Albo’s.

I hope he remembers this touch, and my voice.

Sorrow and despair overflowed within her. She didn’t want to die, but the lessons from her classes remained lodged in her mind; there was no magic that could heal such a grave wound, let alone bring someone back to life.

Jabs of regret crept into her darkening consciousness. She couldn’t help but wonder if she should have let Rias eat his leg.

It would result in him never walking again, but at least they would still be together. Perhaps in another world, they had a happy ending, but fate had a cruel way of telling jokes.

I don’t want to die…

She begged, and begged, and begged, but no salvation came. As her vision began to creep into darkness, she barely made out the silhouette of a girl in a large dress standing above her.

She couldn’t remember her name. The only person she wanted to speak to, to see, or even to think about was the boy lying beside her.

Her cheeks chilled against the stone, while the rest of her body was bathed in the warmth of her own blood. Saya’s fingers brushed against Albo’s, gently caressing his hand one last time as she faintly smiled.

I wonder if he’ll cry after I die.

I worry about him.

Always getting in trouble.

Geez...

How are you going to live without me? Who’s…

Who’s going to bail you out now…

The wind blew through the wreckage, ruffling her hair. Tears leaked out of her eyes ever so slowly, mixing with the blood under her.

Why am I crying?

There was so much left to say to Albo, secrets she had kept locked away, feelings she wanted to pour out before the chance vanished forever. But her voice had failed her.

Her breath staggered, each inhale a dry screech in her throat.

Mom, dad. I want to see you.

Albo. I wish I could see you.

I wish I could hug you guys.

A faint sense of relief whispered through her mind as her heartbeat slowed into a dull rhythm. There was a quiet happiness within Saya when she realized that the Sword Saint would most likely not allow her to be eaten and deformed, the way Hector had been.

With the way she went, at least her body would still stay intact in one piece.

With a final, flickering breath, she whispered into the uncaring world.

“I love you. I can’t wait to see you later.”

Life drained from her body. Her vision completely faded, consumed by the void, and the world narrowed down to the sound of her own heartbeat, until even that faded into the silence.

…

…

…

Loud thumps resonated throughout her body.

You should have drank when you had the chance.

A voice echoed in the void. She had heard this voice before, it sounded awfully like her own, yet still different.

It was more mature, more experienced, and much more mechanical.

…

Her heart thumped one beat at a time at an extremely slowed rate. The time between beats felt like an eternity for the dying girl.

Do you remember your mission?

We were given a chance, to redo things, to make things right.

You were granted a gift, a gift to see one’s souls. To experience one’s life before dismantling theirs.

And yet, you only ever used your abilities on animals, and not humans.

How so?

In that case, do you regard animal lives as less valuable?

But you do. You only devote your skills to creatures that cannot comprehend you, and that you cannot comprehend. You don’t feel disgusted because you can’t relate to their experiences.

…

Why do you devoid yourself of all thought when you use your Soul Sight?

That was never once a condition. The first time you used your ability, you were curious, excited, and ambitious.

And you didn’t hesitate to kill.

You were happy. They were happy. But they died because of you. Had you been more restrained, they would still be alive.

Your abilities never relied on you removing your emotions and becoming a living doll. If anything, it turned you into something inhuman whenever you pulled the threads of life. An insult greater than just dismantling them by force.

Yes, because you can’t truly appreciate life.

I once saw the same philosophy. But devoting myself to pure power acquisition was a chase that never ended.

I left behind all those who cared for me, let those that I love suffer.

It was only until my very last moments, that I remembered the importance of humanity, of the significance of souls.

This is your choice, a path that you must take.

I, too, was once confronted by myself.

This is an endless cycle that yearns for a conclusion.

No. At a different point in time.

But that mattered little in the long run.

Our decisions are our own. What you’re speaking to is an echo of what once was, of a recording that we leave behind in our very last moments. One final deal with the Manastream.

For me, upon my first death, I wished for absolute calculation and unwavering knowledge.

My wish was granted by the Eighth. In return, I had to surrender my name, my identity, and my sense of being.

I do not regret asking for my wish, but now I ask you…

But is it worth sacrificing your humanity for the sake of others?

What are your desires?

A commendable wish. Perhaps one of our previous iterations wished for the same thing, but I do not know.

Your wish is something that can only be fulfilled by your own accord. We always had access to our Soul Sight, how you choose to use it always depended on you.

Our mission is simple. It is to preserve the Eighth.

The chained book you carried contains sufficient magical energy to temporarily grant me control.

Once I do, I will fend off the attackers. After that, it is up to you to forge your own path.

After my magical energy eventually fades, I will vanish completely. This is our first, and last time meeting.

So take this final piece of advice that I never received.

Love is what carries us forward. The form that love takes does not matter. I did not realize it before, but my love for optimization and knowledge is what led to the destructive path I so desperately craved to avoid.

Good luck Saya. Save the Eighth. Reach the Mage Tower. All the answers you seek lie beyond.

Saya’s heartbeat finally stuttered back to a normal tempo, the dull thrum in her ears subsiding as her senses returned. The blood that had bathed her in a fleeting, deceptive warmth earlier was now surrendering to the wintry air, the liquid turning tacky and cold against her skin.

Though her sight remained a stubborn, pitch-black void, the world began to bleed back in through her ears. The silence broke with muffled sounds drifting from a short distance away.

A sharp, heavy footstep cut through the haze. She heard the distinct, wet squelch as the person’s boot landed squarely in the pool of her own blood, the liquid soaking into the leather with a rhythmic, splashing sound as they passed by.

To the outside world, she still appeared deceased, simply because her breathing was shallow and quiet, making no sound at all.

The sound of chains breaking resonated in her ears, clearing the muffled sensation completely. It was almost as if a strong gust of wind had swept the dust away, restoring her hearing in full.

Her finger twitched as her body began to flare with a vibrant blue hue.