A Reunion

Sitting in the nurses office gave me some time to think about the absurdity of my situation. I’m literally here in 2007, as a 26 year old, trapped in my childhood body. To be honest I used to fantasize about going back in time to change something. Maybe to spare myself of some awkward situation, or make something of a missed opportunity.

But now that I’m actually here, I feel awful. I’m realizing there really isn’t any amount of fantasizing that will ever prepare you for the immense feeling of guilt and disgust that actually comes along with actually having the power to change your past. Do I really have to live the rest of my life like this? An impostor pretending to grow up again?

About an hour had passed and I was sipping on a paper cup of water the nurse had given me when the bell rang to mark the start of recess. The school nurse looked over at me. “Feeling better? You can go back and play with your class.” I thanked her, and left. As I headed outside, playing was the last thing on my mind. I was determined to figure out who or what that girl really was.

…

The sun’s beating down and I’m struggling to keep my balance while trudging through the sand on the sports court, paying just enough attention as to not get hit with a ball. But with a square kilometer to roam at recess, I realized finding her might actually prove to be a bit of a challenge. I’m sure all this freedom is supposed to build ‘self reliance’ and ‘discipline’ or whatever.

Clearing that first hurdle, I decided to start by checking around the old abandoned school building first. We called it that, but a lot of the rooms were still used as storage and on the far side there were a couple of classrooms still in use. Even so, the building’s old wooden structure and shady open air hallways were an open invitation for us to explore as kids.

The old building was about a meter off the ground, resting on wooden beams piled deep into the ground. I guess this was to protect it from the flooding during the rainy season. But, as a result there was a massive crawl space below. Most of this crawl space was blocked off with a chicken-wire mesh that ran all the way around the building, but I remembered there was one section behind some bushes that had a large hole in it. In case you were wondering, no one dared to go down there.

There was this urban legend, that if you turned to face away from the bush, a demon woman would emerge from the hole, grab you by the ankle, and pull you back in to devour every part of your existence. It really traumatized me as a kid. There was this boy in class B that swore she had grabbed him, but he managed to kick her off with his other shoe and escape.

Whether he really lived to tell the tale, or he just got his shoelace caught on the bush and freaked out we will never know, but this was closest to a lead I had right now to track down this actual freak of nature.

…

I’m standing in front of the shrub, peering into the inky black hole it’s concealing. As someone who volunteered all throughout high school as an assistant Tai-Chi instructor at the local senior center, you probably wouldn’t know it from how shaky my breath had become. That kind of training must not be just in the mind but also the body. Truthfully I’m just shaking all over.

I push aside the branches and crouch down in front of the hole to get a better look. And… nothing. All I see are the beams, some rocks, and a ball that had rolled down there somehow. I was just about to back up the way I came when I noticed something behind the second closest pillar. A black jacket? Next to it was something shiny. Maybe a piece of jewelry?

I stared at the pair a bit longer, until a cold breeze passed through and sent a chill down my spine. The wood creaked, and the wind howled. Trying to be rational, I figured that the jacket could have been the origin of the urban legend. But in my gut I knew that there was something deeply wrong with the scene down there.

Recess was no doubt almost over and I had just about given up searching when I reached the sinks near the restrooms. This was no doubt the most isolated wing of the old building.

I’m being watched. The sound of water dripping from the faucets into the basin. The breeze still howling through the mildewed hallway. I know I’m being watched. I can hear the other students playing in the distance. Watched but from where?

There. Low, just above knee hight, green eyes glowing through an open classroom door. Before I can even react, my head slams into the sink. I’m being dragged by my legs, but the only thing I could focus on was the feeling of the splintered wood scraping my back.

A large rock that someone must have been using as a doorstop. This is my only chance to reach for it, my back arched like a cat. It’s rough in my hands. We’re in the room now. It’s practically pitch black, since the windows were boarded up. With every ounce of my strength, I bend my knees, as if doing a crutch and swing it forward . There’s a meaty crack then whimpering but the dragging stops and my legs are free. I don’t intend to stick around for my eyes to adjust.

Bracing the door for support, I make it back into the hallway. There’s definitely blood dripping down from my head, and I’m so dizzy. This isn’t looking good. I really can’t keep my balance. With both hands and my back to the sink, I grab the tiled ledge for support. I can’t even tell if I’m breathing anymore. I feel my heartbeat throbbing in my head. I really don’t have it in me to defend myself again.

Naomi emerges from the doorway, her face is also covered in blood but her face somehow looks completely unharmed. She approaches slowly, while licking some blood away. Those fangs. They’ve at least doubled in size now, peeking out even when her mouth is fully closed. This was a mistake. I can’t hold myself up any longer and slide down the sink. It doesn’t even matter anymore.

I didn’t ask for any of this.

“Asena, that’s enough.” He said sternly. I did my best to blink away the blood from my eyes. I must have started crying because the blood in my eye thinned out a bit and I could see a little clearer. He was sitting on the ledge of the stairs at the end of the walkway, just reading a small book. He didn’t even bother to look up at us.

Instantly pacified by the command, the glow in Naomi’s eyes faded, and her fangs retracted. After a few moments her body relaxed and she just had that soft vacant expression again, like she was cataplectic. She washed up at the sink next to me and then wandered off down the hall. It wasn’t much of a relief though, I knew she could be called back at any time.

I had only just blinked but suddenly he was there, standing a few meters away from me. He gazed directly into my eyes with his head cocked slightly, as if he was analyzing something. “Are you familiar with Baudrillard’s work? To his credit, I think he got a lot right, but he was just so whiny.” The slammed the book shut in his hand. I could just make out the cover, “Simulacres et Simulation” in its original French.

“Did you really think that coming to this place would change anything? That’s beyond naïve. You’re a hypocrite, just like all the others.”

The bell rang, and recess was over.