Chapter 28

Time slowed to a crawl. Everything vanished save for Evelyn and Isak, the sound of the waves muted. She felt like she was floating in the deep vacuum of space as a hollow shell of herself.

This was it, it’s what she feared. All of her setbacks, all of her failures, they all came to fruition. Isak, Fukayna, everyone had given up on her. She was a failure.

Evelyn didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Maybe she wanted to slap Isak across the face, maybe she wanted to break down and cry, or maybe wither away completely. She’d experienced failure before, when she lost her team the cross country championship with a poor race, or when she received her first grade below an A at school. Nothing compared to this. It felt worse than every failure combined, even if she’d not been accepted into the academy, it wouldn’t compare. At least then she had Doctor Mary’s clinic to fall back on. This? She was not only ruining her life, but it was her failing the one that mattered most.

Isak’s sigh barely caught her attention. “Look at him,” he said, pointing to the empty space behind her.

She slowly turned her head and in the empty void, he appeared, all by his lonesome. His yellow scales glimmering from an unseen spotlight. Sky blue eyes shined as he beamed at nothing. His tail swung from side to side, the tip flicking up; a small tick of his when he learned something new.

Lumin: the one who mattered most, and the dragon she failed.

“What do you see when you look at him?” Isak asked.

She stared at the dragon for a few moments, trying to find whatever Isak was asking for. She swallowed. “I see… I see an amazing, intelligent dragon. Someone I swore to protect. My everything.”

Isak hummed. “I see a dragon that is a light in the dark. A dragon with endless potential and a drive to learn. He could rise to be one of the greatest dragons in the history of the riders. But you…” he paused, and his eyes softened. “Evelyn, you are not a rider. Your strength is not up to par, nor do I see it ever being enough. I sense you do not have the will to do what is necessary in battle. ‘Heal, not harm’ is part of the oath you take upon your entry to the academy, and that is imbued in your heart. That is why I believe you struggle with the breath weapon. You fear the harm it can cause.

“You are a healer, plain and simple. You’re smart, driven and passionate. Norah would be thrilled to take you under her wing. You’d have your place here, just not as a rider, and not with Lumin, but as a great healer. Staying with him will only hold him back.”

“But… Delain, I promised…” she stuttered. But she knew he was right. She was not worthy of being Lumin’s rider. What good would she do hampering his progress?

“You want to protect him, I understand. The best way for you to do that is to let him go. Let him thrive with a skilled, worthy rider. Someone who could not only keep up with his progress, but push him to his full potential.”

Instantly, Evelyn knew who he meant.

Off to the side, within the void, she appeared. Riley was watching something —Evelyn felt it was in the depths of her mind, but she couldn’t conjure it— with her arms crossed. But of course Riley was the epitome of dragon riders. If anyone could help and protect Lumin, it was her.

Riley seemed to notice Evleyn glancing at her as she looked back at herwith a curious expression. Evelyn averted her gaze.

“If I do,” Evelyn started, tears starting to roll down her face. “I can still see him, right?”

“Of course, lass. Knowing Norah, she’d make you his primary healer.”

Evelyn kept her gaze fixed to the floor, her mind slowly escaping the fog. She never asked for Lumin, she never strived to be a rider. The only reason she did this was to satisfy her promise to Delain, right? And if Isak was right, if Benjamin was right, if everyone was right, she would be breaking her promise by obstructing Lumin’s progress.

A wave of joy rushed through their bond, interrupting her thoughts. Lumin was swaying on his haunches, his wings extended. A sign he correctly answered a question. Seeing him filled with such pride and determination was inspiring. His happiness was her happiness.

There was joy in having a partner in Lumin. The overwhelming love she felt with him, sleeping side by side with him, sharing her mind with his. How could she just throw that away?

Or was she being selfish? Was this truly a mutual bond? He didn’t choose her either, not really. Did he actually love her in return, or was he shackled by the bond? It would be unfair to imprison him when she only weighed him down. And for what, her longing desire for companionship?

Lumin deserved what Evelyn could not provide. He deserved better. Yes, she loved him, and that’s why she knew Isak was right.

With that clarity, the rest of the world returned. Safir nodded with a faint smile. If Evelyn wasn’t mistaken, she almost looked proud of Lumin. On the other side of her vision, Riley observed Violet and Landon sparring, both breathing heavily, though Violet looked worse for wear. Their dragons watched opposite of Riley, both growling and chirping cheers for their respective rider. However, Riley kept her gaze upon Evelyn, looking more concerned than before.

That care Riley showed was the final piece to confirm she was the proper rider for Lumin.

Evelyn felt a tear rolling down her cheek, which she quickly wiped away.

“What do I need to do?” She asked, sharply inhaling.

Isak explained the process; it was relatively simple, but it had to be mutual. “Make sure he completely understands the situation, or else it becomes difficult and dangerous.”

She grunted in acknowledgement and turned to approach the dragons. As she took her first step, she heard someone call out to her. “Evy!”

From the base entrance, Benjamin ran to her. She stopped, and as he approached, noticed his hair was disheveled more than usual. He was covered in mud and sand, and he looked exhausted. For a moment, she felt worried, but that worry turned to anger.

When he caught up, with heavy breaths, he said, “Evy, we need to talk. I—”

“No,” she growled, cutting him off.

Benjamin looked stricken. “Wh— but Evy, it’s important.”

“Too important for us? Too important for me? To help me? You’ve been gone for days, and honestly, it feels like you haven’t been with me since we got here.”

“What are you talking about? I—”

“Shut up. Just… shut up.” There was venom in her voice she’d never felt before. All of her pent up frustration and sorrow was pouring out. Benjamin stepped back gaping. “Just be happy you’re getting what you want.”

She whirled around, not wanting to see his reaction. She hurriedly approached the dragons, and in her attempt to keep her gaze off Benjamin, she noticed Violet and Landon paused their fight at the outburst. Before, it would have heightened her nerves, but now, she didn’t care. They would just be her patients from now on. She only needed to care about the health of their dragons, not their opinions of her.

Safir was the first to notice her approach. She tilted her head and frowned, not at Evelyn, but at Isak.

“Lumin,” Evelyn called.

Lumin’s ears perked up and he whipped his head around. His eyes glowed and he looked to Safir for permission to break rank. The aquafin hesitated, but nodded. Lumin bounded to Evelyn and craned his neck to meet her gaze.

It had been a while since she truly admired his growth. He now had to lower his head to meet her gaze. Not by much, but it startled Evelyn. A little more than a month ago, he could fit comfortably in her lap, now, he was big as a small horse, able to be ridden upon.

Had it only been a month? To Evelyn, it felt like it had been ages since he hatched. A month was nothing compared to the lifespan of a human, let alone a dragon. It was an insignificant amount of time. Lumin would barely remember it. Evelyn didn’t know if that made it better or worse..

“Evelyn, you’ll never guess it. I thought of something that will make me even faster. Safir confirmed it, too. Here, I can show you,”

“Lumin, we… need to talk.”

He tilted his head. “Isn’t that what we’re doing?” He asked in jest.

Any other time, she would have encouraged his improving attempts at humor with a laugh. “Well, yes. But that’s not what I meant. We need to have a serious discussion.”

He sat on his haunches. “Oh, okay. Is it about my flying? I promise I’ll find a way to keep you on board.”

“It has nothing to do with you, sweetie. It’s about me.” She took a deep breath and blew out every nerve she could. Even then, her next words squeezed her heart dry. “I… we need to break our bond.”

Lumin sat still. Nothing about his demeanor changed. Her heart sank further as she started to realize she might be correct that he never actually returned the love. Then he started giggling.

“Haha, good one, Evelyn. I think I’m finally understanding human humor.”

“I’m… not joking, Lumin.”

Slowly, his laughter died down and he looked into her eyes, scrutinizing her intentions. “You… you’re serious?” His wings drooped and his ears folded back, the smile upon his face fading. “You can’t be…”

“It’s for your own good, Lumin. You’re an amazing dragon, the best dragon in the world. I want what is best for you, and I will do anything to make that happen. I just… can’t do it as a rider.” She blinked away the tears forming. “What’s best for you is a capable rider, a rider who will push you to your full potential. A rider like Riley.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Riley watching, listening. She looked over, and Lumin’s future rider stepped back, eyes wide.

Evelyn sighed and turned back to Lumin. He was looking back at Safir, who was also listening. Her sharp, slitted pupils went beyond Lumin, locked onto her own rider. “Isak,” she growled low. The rumble in her throat faded as Isak held up a hand.

“Isak showed me how, it will be quick. We just need to be touching.”

Lumin turned back around, but did not meet Evelyn’s eyes, staring at the ground for a long time. His shimmering eyes darted back and forth. It was devastating to watch. Maybe it would have been better if he outright hated her.

Now she just wanted this to be over. She made up her mind and it would be best to get it over with as quickly as possible. She held up her hand, palm facing Lumin. His eyes flicked to her palm and darted back down.

After a painful moment, he finally closed his eyes and lifted his head. He slowly approached, wings and tail dragging along the floor. Once within reach, he met Evelyn’s gaze once more, as if asking if she was sure.

Her eyes wettened, but she nodded. After everything, the training, the long study sessions, the hours talking about Evelyn’s past and everything to come. It was the end of their bond. It was for the best.

Lumin shut his eyes and leaned forward. Evelyn closed her eyes and focused on the technique Isak taught her. It was all she could do to avoid changing her mind.

Her fingers flexed, anticipating the touch of Lumin’s cool, hardened scales. Scales she learned to love, to hold close. She waited, and waited, but the touch never came. Not the way she expected.

Just as she opened an eye to check on him, a flash of yellow swept her vision. Instead of the soft embrace of scales against her palm, she felt talons wrap around her waist and hoist her off the ground, pulling her close to the scaly chest of Lumin. Before she knew it, they were high above the cave floor, blasted by the wind from his beating wings.

The last thing she heard was her brother crying out. “Evy!” After that, she could only hear the sound of the raging ocean and Lumin’s wings frantically waving.

She could barely hear her own voice. “Lumin! What are you doing?” If she could not hear herself, there was no way he could hear her. Even if he could, she could tell he would not listen. He just continued flying. To where, Evelyn could not tell.

Not only were they flying away from the base, from the resistance, they were flying from safety. What if a ship reported them? Or worse, what if guards saw them fly by? Who knew if there were empire dragons in the area. She tried to share her concerns through the bond, but Lumin slammed it shut.

They flew for an hour, maybe more. Because she was pinned to Lumin’s chest by his sturdy arms, Evelyn could only turn her head just enough to catch glimpses of the terrain below zipping by in a blur. At some point, they returned to land. From what she could see, they hadn’t flown over, or close to any cities or towns, but she was still worried boats or rural residents had seen them. It was very likely at least a few people had seen them. It was something she’d have to worry about later. First they had to land.

Any attempt to catch Lumin’s attention was whisked away by the raging wind. The bond between them remained closed, so she could not impress her emotions upon him. Worse, she had no clue what he felt or was thinking.

A pit formed in her stomach. Did he hate her for suggesting they break their bond? Was he going to kill her? That was highly unlikely, Evelyn knew, but it still ate at her. Without access to his emotions, she had no inclination as to what he was planning.

Eventually, the ground got closer, and Evelyn realized Lumin was descending. Just before they would slam into the ground, Lumin tilted his wings and slowed down, rolling Evelyn onto the tall, soft grass. She rolled a few times, but caught herself with a planted foot. Through the maze, she saw Lumin attempt to land, but his attempt to place her nicely on the ground hindered his landing as he tumbled, crashing into thick shrubs.

Where he came to a stop was the edge of a swamp. Thick, muddy water coated the ground where thick, towering trees sprouted. Aside from those, and the bushes Lumin landed in, there was little vegetation. Behind her, the ground sloped up, forming a long hill that seemed to stretch for hundreds of meters on either side.

Based on that, she gathered they were somewhere on the border between old Aonach and old Faiy where the Great Ohay Planes met the Kentya Swamp. Just beyond the swamp, across from the Ohay River would be a large desert where the majority of the Faiyan cities were erected. If Evelyn recalled correctly, it was a small portion of the border toward the west, a long way from Cove. However, she could not determine their exact location.

Before she could think on it further, a deep, loathing sob caught her attention. Lumin was curled into a ball where he crashed, his claws covering his face. Even so, Evelyn could see tears streaming down his cheeks. His chest heaved as he wept. Her breath caught, fearing he was seriously injured and she rushed to his side, examining his body.

“Lumin, are you—” She stopped. She could see no external injury. His limbs were intact and his scales were only covered in small leaves and mud. But when he opened his eyes to look at her, all she could see was pain.

“Do… you not love me?” He whined between heaving sobs.

In that moment, he sounded so young. Though he was only a month or so in age, he’d acted and sounded fairly mature. He had childish thoughts and still had a lot of growing to do, and his voice was still relatively high-pitched, but she never really thought of him as a baby or a child. Now, he sounded like a child crying for his mother.

It tore her heart to shreds and dumped the remains in the deepest pits of the hells. That ripped away the brief feeling of relief she got knowing he did actually love her. She now feared she ruined that as well.

They tested their bond a few times in the past couple weeks, and she still felt the stinging pain she did the first time. Now, she feared the test would kill her.

“What? Of course I love you, sweetie.” She reached out to comfort him, but he recoiled, making her flinch.

“Then why… are you trying to get rid of me?”

“I’m not trying to get rid of you, what makes you think…” She trailed off, already knowing the answer.

“Why else would you want to break our bond?”

“Because I’m not good enough,” she finally said aloud. It’s something she’d internalized when she talked to Isak. If she were honest, it’s something she really knew for a while. But she’d never really admitted it until then. Her voice cracked and she looked at her own hands. They were shaking.

“When your mom gave your egg to me, I made a promise to her, a promise to keep you safe. I can’t protect you on my own, I never could. The only way to do that now is to make you stronger, to help you become the dragon you’re meant to be. Be with a rider that will help achieve greatness so you can protect yourself.

“Lumin, you’re smart, you’re strong and your magic can surpass the greatest of dragons. You need a rider that can help elevate you to that greatness. Isak is right, I’m not that rider, and I never will be. I’m only holding you back.”

Lumin stood up and shook off the broken limbs of the bush and stomped the ground with a growl. “So you think my mom was wrong? You think I was wrong?”

“No, that’s not—” She sighed and wiped away a tear that escaped. “You never got a choice. I’m not a rider. I was never meant to be a rider. I’m a healer. That’s my destiny.”

”But why? Why can’t you be my rider and a healer?”

”That’s not how it works, sweetie. I can’t give you, or our training the attention needed if I join Norah. I wouldn’t keep my promise if—”

“I don’t care!” Lumin roared. Evelyn stepped back. The vitriol in his voice shook her to her core. “I don’t care about your promise! It means nothing to me, family comes first.”

“Family? What…” Something clicked in Evelyn’s brain. Lumin’s mother was dead before he hatched, and it’s likely he would never know his father, or if he had any other living relatives. In reality, he didn’t have a true family. All he’d ever known was Evelyn. But that wasn’t fair for either of them. “I’m sorry, but you should have gotten to choose your family, choose a rider that matched your talent. You didn’t have options like Rjuka and Anemara did. I took that away from you, and you deserve better.”

“Evelyn,” Lumin continued, his voice softening into a whimper. “I chose you. I chose you because you cared for me. You do things none of the others would ever do. You read with me, you listen to my monologues about my training, you cared for my egg and never left my side. Whether you were the best rider or the worst, I would have picked you, even if I hatched with the resistance, because you care.” He gently pressed his muzzle to her forehead. Instinctively, Evelyn closed her eyes and placed a hand on his cheek. “Don’t listen to them. Isak, Safir, Fukayna, Benjamin, they're all wrong. You can be a rider, healer, even a veterinarian. All I want is you, forever and always.”

Lumin was so young, so naive, yet he was passionate and pure. It melded Evelyn’s heart back together. He was right, neither Isak or Benjamin knew what they were talking about. As long as she had Lumin, and Lumin had her, there were limitless possibilities.

“I’m sorry, Lumin. I’m so stupid,” Evelyn muttered.

“Don’t be. I should have felt your uncertainty sooner and squashed it like the parasite it is. Just talk to me when you have doubts.”

Evelyn let out a choked giggle. “The same goes for you.”

They stayed there for a while, neither willing to let each other go. Eventually, Lumin shifted into his magical form and they fused. For that moment, Evelyn didn’t care how quickly she absorbed him.

Once he was tucked away in her heart, she walked to the base of the hill and laid in the grass, silently staring up at the sky where white, puffy clouds slowly drifted along. Only when Evelyn noticed the tinge of orange rising above the horizon did they realize how much time had passed.

‘We should head back soon. I’m sure Isak and Safir will understand,’ Evelyn said mentally.

‘If not, I’ll make them understand. I…’ Lumin trailed off and hummed curiously.

‘You… do know how to get back, right?’