If Teleportation Were to Occur, Be Sure to Hold Your Breath

The apartment door crashed open.

Jarel jumped, twisting just in time to see a furious Jinxia storming in - dragging a dazed young man behind her by the collar of his hoodie.

She nearly shouted.

“Jarel! How hard is it to find a bloody man?!”

On the last word, she hurled the poor guy across the room.

Jarel barely had time to react. He dove out of the way as the body slammed into the couch - right where he had been sitting seconds earlier.

He scrambled to his feet-

Just in time to be grabbed.

Jinxia seized his collar and hoisted him clean off the ground, pinning him against the wall. His feet dangled uselessly as her grip tightened.

Her breath smelled faintly of alcohol.

“How do you do it, pimp?”

He choked.

“I… don’t… know…”

She stared at him for a moment.

Then sighed - and dropped him.

He collapsed, barely catching himself before faceplanting into the carpet. He coughed, dragging air back into his lungs.

Jinxia groaned and staggered back a step.

“Quanlin, that… that…”

She struggled to search for a word that was appropriate for all audiences.

“That cow! How’d she do it?!”

Jarel rubbed his throat, still recovering.

“Are… are you alright?”

She snapped her gaze back to him.

“No, I’m not alright! That grass-eating, good-for-nothing lump of meat makes it look easy, but it’s bloody hard!”

He’d already guessed where this was going.

Still, he asked.

“What’s so hard?”

“Finding a suitable man!” she barked. “They’re all-”

She glanced at the unconscious guy on the couch.

Paused.

Then sniffed in disgust.

“Perverts.”

Jarel opened his mouth, considering commenting on her outfit, then decided he valued his life. Instead, he pointed.

“Where’d you find him?”

She tapped her foot impatiently.

“At some place downtown. Big sign, ‘pretty girls for cool guys.’”

She spat the last words like they’d personally offended her.

“None of the guys who’ve come to me have been very cool though.”

She jabbed a thumb toward the couch.

“This one tried to-”

Jarel raised a hand quickly.

“Jinxia,” he said carefully, “the sign was lying to you.”

She bared her teeth.

“You don’t think I’ve noticed that?”

He shook his head.

“I figured. But I think you’ve got the wrong approach-”

She spun on him instantly.

Then grinned, wide and dangerous.

She formed a finger gun and pointed it at his chest.

“Bam. Got you.”

He blinked.

“What?”

“I knew you knew.”

He stared.

Then sighed.

She’d absolutely outplayed him.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“That wasn’t obvious?” she snapped. “I want you to teach me how to find, attract, and marry a decent man.”

He rubbed his head.

“I can give you advice,” he said slowly, “but you’re not going to like it-”

“Shut up,” she growled. “I’m desperate.”

He nodded.

“Okay. Then we’re going shopping.”

She didn’t even hesitate.

“Fine.”

Then her expression shifted - just slightly.

“Hold your breath.”

He blinked.

“What-”

She grabbed his arm.

And then Jarel’s world exploded.

The blinding white light faded, along with the ringing in his ears.

Jarel stumbled, vaguely aware that he was being dragged by his sleeve. He shook his head, his senses slowly stitching themselves back together.

Sight - Jinxia’s figure ahead of him, pulling him along.

Smell - coffee, rich and bitter, from stalls lining wide walkways.

Sound - voices, footsteps, hundreds of them.

Taste - blood.

The world snapped into place.

They were in the mall.

He blinked rapidly, stuttering as he tried to catch up.

“W-where are we?”

Jinxia didn’t even look back.

“The mall. We’re heading to my favorite designers.”

He coughed - hard.

She tilted her head slightly.

“If you can taste blood, it means you forgot to hold your breath.”

He coughed again, groaning.

“I didn’t get enough warning…”

She sniffed.

“Get good.”

He groaned louder.

“What even happened?”

“We changed locations.”

He frowned.

“Did we teleport-”

She shot him a glare so sharp it could’ve cut glass.

“Don’t say that.”

He froze.

“It’s not that. It’s-”

She said a word.

A word Jarel knew, with absolute certainty, he would never be able to pronounce in his entire life.

He nodded quickly.

“Okay.”

She huffed, satisfied, and kept dragging him along. By the time they reached the store, he was mostly back to normal - aside from the lingering metallic taste on his tongue.

And what a store it was.

Pristine, glamorous, immaculate, it was the kind of place where everything looked expensive - even the air.

Jarel instantly felt out of place.

Jinxia, however, walked in like she owned it.

The girl behind the counter lit up the moment she saw her.

“Oh! Hello, Jinxia! You’re a few hours early today.”

Jarel blinked.

A few hours early?

Did she come here daily?

Jinxia answered before he could think further.

“Something came up. I have an urgent order.”

The girl nodded, already typing rapidly on a laptop hidden beneath the counter.

“What can I get for you today?”

Jinxia glanced back at Jarel.

He froze.

“W-what?”

She sighed.

“Come on. What attracts the right kind of guy?”

He hesitated.

“Well, that depends on what your definition of-”

She cut him off with a look.

“What attracts you, Jarel?”

That stopped him.

This time, he hesitated because he actually had to think.

“…This isn’t what I meant when I said we needed to go shopping,” he muttered. “But fine.”

He met her eyes.

“I like cute and cuddly.”

He paused, looking her up and down.

“But that wouldn’t suit you.”

She raised a brow.

“Oh?”

“You need something more…” he searched for the word.

“…powerful.”

She scoffed.

“Like what, a-”

The girl behind the counter suddenly leaned forward, eyes sparkling.

“Ooo, Jinxy, do you ever go to the gym?”

Jinxia glanced back.

“On occasion.”

Jarel blinked.

On occasion?

Now that he was actually looking, her build didn’t match that statement at all.

In fact-

He frowned.

Had she just… changed?

For a split second, he could’ve sworn her figure had shifted - subtly, but noticeably. More toned. More defined.

The girl didn’t react at all.

“What do you usually wear?” she asked eagerly.

Jinxia shrugged.

“Whatever I feel like.”

The girl shook her head in disapproval.

“That won’t do. Here, look at this.”

Jinxia stepped forward, leaning over the counter.

Jarel wasn’t invited, but he didn’t need to see the screen - Jinxia’s expression said everything.

“I’ll take it.”

The girl laughed.

“Sadly, we don’t sell these. There’s a sports shop a little way down that does, though.”

Jinxia nodded once.

Then grabbed Jarel by the sleeve again.

He barely had time to process what was happening before-

They were already out the door.