That’s Why We Should Always Kill Or Destroy The Cruel

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter deals with abuse and suicide.

An hour later, the interrogations and reports were complete. A darkened patch on the already red carpet was the only hint that she had been there. Warm Embraces Hotel’s lobby expanded and bent until Masaru felt like he was standing alone in an empty tomb.

But he wasn’t alone.

One other body had hung back as the rest of the souls had drifted from the stagnant space.

She was somewhat older than Masaru, though closer to him than to the older woman. Soft shakes from her shoulders told him that she was silently crying as she kept her back to him.

Her body was facing the hallway, directly towards Room 109.

Drying streaks of soiled, putrid water were beginning to tighten along his skin. He wanted to move. He wanted to once again strip down, saw off his skin, and never return. Everything felt cold. Muscles pulled from their traumatized nerve connections, causing Masaru’s head to glitch as his mouth dropped further to the right.

His eye was still hiding.

She was still crying.

Something compelled Masaru to stay near the woman, and he resigned himself to stand there with her.

Gone were the horrified whimpers and murderous screams of the elderly lady. Now, only the broken whispers of a shocked psyche were all that could be heard. Posters of eternally smiling call girls offered the woman their hollow comfort. Display racks of dated, sexualized costumes offered her their options for mourning attire.

His stench was triggering his gag reflex.

But still he remained.

And remained.

And remained.

Grief moved through the space slower than the stale air that was once again circulating as the hotel inhaled the sorrow with joy.

It may have been an hour before she finally shifted.

When her head finally raised, her fingers wiped her eyes. A subtle shift in her weight implied she wanted to walk towards 109, but she stopped.

Masaru took a single step towards her.

“Was she afraid?” the woman asked.

Masaru grimaced. He wanted to lie. Society had told him it was best to offer empty comfort. Yet lying was the last thing he could fathom.

“Yes. She screamed. Horribly,” he admitted.

Streaks of red still clung to his jacket and shirt from her bleeding out in his arms. The woman inhaled a sob and nodded.

“This place. This fucking wretched place. Why? Why would she want to do it here?” she cried.

The question was for herself more than for Masaru.

The building inhaled in delight as the bent ventilation whistled in the corner.

“…I’m sorry… I… I tried…” was all he could add.

She shook her head.

“She was dead no matter what you tried. She took every pill in the house and THEN she slit her wrist. She wanted to make sure it happened. But for it to be here. Here…”

Rattles of horror crawled from the woman’s lips as she braced for another wave of brokenness.

“What happened here? To her?” Masaru asked.

Inhales accelerated as the woman’s panic built. Masaru watched as her fingers wrapped themselves across the opposite shoulder and rubbed up then down while she tried to calm herself.

“Her brother. Every night for years. When she was a kid and he wasn’t. He’d bring her here then…”

New pulls of shock yanked at Masaru’s intestines. He cursed himself for asking and making her discuss such a thing with an absolute stranger.

“I’m sorry. You don’t have t-to talk about it,” he muttered.

She turned slightly so that he could finally see the very edges of her face, but she still did not look away from the hallway.

“No, I… I’d like to talk about it, if that’s okay. I’ll never fully be able to talk about it with anyone else.”

Her words confused him, especially as he saw a wedding band glinting in the light. But he remained silent to allow her to continue.

“It lasted for years. When she was old enough to understand, she tried to stop him but it kept happening. He started drugging her in her sleep, until she became afraid of even laying in a bed. One day he was caught and it all came to light. But…”

She sniffed and violently wiped her eyes.

“But he only got two years and a moderate fine…”

Masaru felt her grief cycling into his lungs. The smiling call girls seemed to lean forward in joy as they listened from their glossy prisons. He swore their smiles had widened.

“He never apologized or admitted fault. He got out and moved to Kyushu. And she stayed here. Right over there in her family home. And she never really got better. I was raised by a woman who would scream bloody murder every night. And I came to hate the man who caused that.”

Her hands lowered and Masaru saw her thumb fighting with her marriage ring.

“So one day I paid some very bad, desperate men a few thousand American dollars to track him down and kill him. First they castrates him with a kitchen knife. Then I had them saw him to pieces while he was fully awake. I prayed that every scream of agony from him would help sooth the screams I heard from my mother every night of my life. But it didn’t stop them. It gave me some joy knowing he suffered so severely, but it didn’t help her.”

Masaru was struggling to formulate any word of value. She was confessing so calmly, it was almost unsettling. Yet he still found himself understanding her.

“No one really asked about him after he vanished. She barely mentioned it. …I’ve never told anyone about it…” the woman pondered aloud.

Before her, the hallway waited in silence.

“She’d gotten diagnosed with dementia and her mind was failing. This place, and those nights became the only thing she could see or think about. These last few months were… horrible. And I think she just finally broke. But I wish…”

The woman fell to her knees and let out a sob as her face buried itself once more in her hands.

“I wish she’d done it at the house. Oh gods, I wish she’d never set foot in this godforsaken place again.”

Masaru moved closer. His hand extended, but then hesitated.

“M-m-maybe she came here so that it wouldn’t hurt your view of your home?” Masaru offered.

The woman shook her head with a snarl.

“No… no I think the grief and horror were just stronger than her in the end. Try as we might, and as much as we want to believe, sometimes the hurt is too much. Sometimes, the cruelty wins.”

Her head steadied and slowly raised. Both palms stayed angled to the ceiling, almost in prayer. As she inhaled and exhaled heavy, broken breaths, her gaze turned back directly to Room 109.

“That’s why we should never forgive those that hurt. That’s why we should always kill or destroy the cruel…”

With that, she forced herself onto her feet and turned without looking at Masaru.

A slow bow stopped her.

“Thank you for being there with her at the end and trying to show her kindness. If she haunts this place, please, tell her I will miss her. But I am never coming back here again.”

Footsteps echoed across the walls as she made her way to the door. Sunlight beamed through the opening as the barrier closed. Masaru was now truly alone. Now he could break himself.

The panic attack started in his ribs. It rose and spread into his throat, before turning the edges of his teeth into throbbing, grinding knubs. Darkness lingered in his left eye as it abandoned its commitment to correct positioning. Every fiber and muscle spasmed. Fingernails clawed at the caked remains of death and disease that were coating him.

He had to leave.

He had to leave.

He had to leave and scream.

It didn’t matter if he had any shift left, he was exiting that building. Hurried steps rushed him to the light as he dialed his work office’s number yet again.

No one answered.

“Fine!!” Masaru growled as tears built in his eyes.

The hotel door slammed behind him and he didn’t bother to lock up. Instead, he began to run.

Down the alley. Across the street. Up the stairs. Onto the platform.

Even though he was spiraling and disgusting, he was not going home.

He was going to his office.

If they wouldn’t answer, he would speak to them directly.

He was going to beg to be transferred. It didn’t matter if it was far away to some cursed city in another country. It would be better than this place.

The train arrived and Masaru stumbled into the car as he prepared to return to Andrakin’s office building.