Döner Kebab and Apfelschorle

“It’s going to be a rough morning,” I say to myself as my life turns back into the greyness I am used to it being.

The people circle around me aggressively. Clumsily I am checking directions on my phone which is almost empty. I know that I charged it with my power-bank in the train. People bump into me. People tell me I am in the way. This is the real Berlin.

I sigh as I drop my phone. I crouch to pick it up. Someone crouches down in front of me. He grabs my phone and I try to snatch it out of his hand. I can’t be mugged my first day in Berlin. However the stranger wasn’t planning to mug me and my hand brushes against his as he gives me my phone. It’s tender in comparison to my defensive grabbing. The phone almost falls out of my hand again, he catches it smoothly and presses it into my hand. What is happening? He gets up and holds out his hand for me to help me get up from the ground. I don’t need his help.

Still I look up to him and the winter sun almost blinds me. It makes me lose balance and I fall backwards. He catches me before I can hit the floor. I am internally screaming. He helps me get up. And he holds my hands for a bit too long. We look each other in the eyes. The people don’t bump into me anymore. They walk slow circles around us. It’s as if the entire station is moving in slow motion.

“My name is John, but everybody calls me Johnny,” he says not letting go of my hands.

“My name is Jada. Thank you for… all that.”

He laughs after I say my name. I want to roll my eyes, because I have a hunch what he is laughing about.

“Our names start with a J,” I say as I am pretty sure that is the reason why he is laughing. Is it that funny to meet a person whose name starts with the same letter? I pull my hands free as I am starting to feel a little bit uncomfortable.

His eyes widen in disbelief. “How did you know what I was thinking about?”

“Just a hunch. It was nice to meet you John,” I say smiling at him politely. I then make my way to the exit. Frantically going through my phone. John follows suit. I notice him walking next to me. I glare at him. He then points towards the exit.

“The exit is dead ahead,” he says matter-of-factly holding his hands up. My glare turns into a fake polite smile. I try to walk faster, but he is keeping up with me.

“I had this weird dream in the train, in which a woman knows exactly what I was thinking about.” I look at him, saying nothing for a couple of moments. I then return to my phone.

John continues rambling on.

“It went exactly like this. We met at an airport in the dream. She dropped stuff out her bag. I helped her retrieve it. We then went on to have dinner together. And we walked together on the beachfront.”

His talking is confusing me in this hectic situation. I make gestures in an attempt to make him stop talking. “This has nothing to do with me, John… I don’t think—.”

“Please don’t be freaked out, but I would like to spend time with you today,” he says casually.

I stop in my tracks. And shake my head. “Look this is my first day in Berlin and I—.”

“It’s my first day here too, and my last day before I go back to the US,” he answers quickly as if that is supposed to change things.

He follows me. I can’t seem to shake him off.

I need to focus on my phone as it’s rapidly dying. “I am sorry, John. I need to desperately find my power bank.”

I then throw my bag on the ground and I look for my power bank. When I finally retrieve it, I seem to be unable to turn it on. I cannot believe it, my phone is dying and my power bank which I know I charged almost all night is I guess broken.

“I really believe there is something here. And I want to explore it with you.”

I turn to John, my eyes still fixated on my phone. “Please John. I am so tired. I am in some predicament and my phone just died.” In any scenario, this would devastate me. Alone in a new city. With what I believe is the worst possible luck a person can possibly have.

John looks at me sympathetically. “I can help you out Jada.”

My heart sinks. I have no choice. I can either find another person who may not speak the same language as me to give me directions. Or I can ask this unbelievably optimistic man, who wants to explore things with me. Whatever those things are. I nod.

“Thank you, sorry for being rude earlier.” He holds his hands up, waving away my worries.

“I am just some rando that wants to talk to you, because I think you’re the girl from my dreams.” I look at him bewildered. And walk backwards.

He stops me. “I don’t mean it in that way. It feels like a deja vu, but it can also be that I am simply fatigued from my trip.” He grabs his phone and holds it in front of me. After a couple taps on the screen, he shows me the Uber app. “Type your location. I will get you an Uber,” he says.

I shake my head. “I can just take the train, or the Ubahn or the bus. I mean it I will be fine.” He holds his hand up.

“You have no working phone right now. I insist that you take an Uber,” he says.

I look around for an ATM. “At least let me draw some money for you. So I can pay—.”

He interrupts me. “Absolutely not. Type your address.”

I am hesitating, but I type the address in his phone. And give him back the phone. He orders the Uber, but widens his eyes after some thinking. I am concerned by the words that are going to come out of his mouth.

“Are you staying by chance at the Hotel Tiergarten?” I slowly nod. He covers his mouth. He then taps and swipes on his phone. Shows me it again. He shows me a reservation on his name. In the exact same hotel. “I knew that I recognised the address.” I am laughing at the coincidence.

“It’s self-evident we’re taking this Uber together right?” I ask. “It’s such a funny coincidence John.”

He laughs with me. “I guess, I do have to take this Uber with you. Are you sure?”

“Yes please, I insist you got me an Uber for no reason and it’s more sustainable this way.” He nods.

“Yes, It’s more sustainable that way.”

We look at each other for a couple of intense seconds, until next to us the Uber comes to a halt. The Uber driver wants to run out of the car to open the door for me, but John is quicker. John takes my backpack and puts it carefully in the trunk. Everything is happening too fast for me.

“Thank you John,” I say to him as he slides in the backseat with me.

He smiles at me. The winter sun is blinding me again.

“Don’t worry about it, it was my pleasure,” he says.

During the rest of the ride, we don’t really say much to one another. It’s not because he doesn’t want to talk to me. It’s because I am too depleted. I apologise to him by saying that I am not into talking in Ubers and public transport. He does not fight me over that. It’s not a lie either. I really don’t like that. In transit I like to be alone with my thoughts. I do feel bad, because he did look like he wanted to talk to me. I then remember that he quite literally did call me the girl of his dreams, that alone is enough to kill any amount of empathy I feel for him.

When we make it to the hotel, we go through the check-in at the same time. I say goodbye to John who is still checking in. I then drag myself to the elevator. It’s like almost making it to the finish and the last stretch is the hardest to cross.

In my room, I fall asleep almost immediately. My nap lasts until around 4PM. My phone is fully charged which means I can finally listen to music again. I look out of my window, it’s completely dark out. I decide to get myself a nice, but quick meal. The plan is to go to a place with the bus. Eat something and then walk back in the snow.

I write my Berlin based friends of which I have many. None of them can hang out tonight. I do live further than they expected. I also don’t feel like travelling. I order a new power bank. I write in the family group chat that I finally arrived in a hotel. My siblings all shout through their messages. A HOTEL? HUH? WHY? DON’T YOU HAVE AN APARTMENT?

They’re always like this. It’s overwhelming.

I explain the flooded apartment. My father who endlessly read up on Berlin housing scams and crises asks me if it is a scam. My mother asks me whether my hotel is good. I look around. It’s not a bad hotel. So I tell her I don’t hate it here. We promise each other to do a group call very soon.

After that it’s time for me to go get some food. I leave my hotel with a mission.

I am running for the bus as I risk missing it. I look at a man who is exiting the bus. He is barricading the door, so that the driver can’t close it. The driver glares at the man, and shouts profanities at him, but the man only has eyes for me. A female street singer sings this Italian song “Mi sei scoppiato dentro il cuore” by “Mina”. It’s one of my favourite songs. I make it to the bus. We’re staring into each other’s eyes, the world seems to be slowing down. The driver shouts at us to either enter or exit the bus. I enter and the man slowly exits the bus, the eye contact not breaking, it’s as if we’re doing a tango. We still make eye contact when he is outside the bus. The door closes and the Italian song becomes muted and dies in the distance as the bus drives off. The world turns back to normal. I sit down in the bus trying to remember which stop I have to get out at.

On Google reviews I saw this kebab place with an almost perfect rating. I am craving kebab with a lot of sauce. And a very cold apfelschorle. This is the Berlin experience I signed up for. A lot of kebab and apfelschorles.

I enter the kebab place, the light and the interior oddly enough feel like summer in the Alps. I make my order in broken German. I do speak German. I just lack the confidence to pull through at times. The man gets busy with my order. When it’s time for me to pay, I show my card, he shakes his head and tells me only cash. I try to explain in German and English that I can try and find an atm, if he knows where the one nearby is. He lets me know that the next ATM is a bit far away and that the kebab place closes soon. Suddenly someone calls me from one of the tables. I turn around and it’s John waiting.

“I can pay for your kebab,” he shouts at me.

I shake my head vigorously, but I know that I have no choice. If I want to eat this kebab. “Thank you very much,” I say defeated. He pays for both of our orders. We laugh at the coincidence of us making it to the same kebab place.

“It’s the highest rated kebab near our hotel,” John says clearly amused by this situation.

I guess it makes sense. It’s still surprising.

We eat our kebab at the tables, the owner allows us to finish eating, even though it’s closing time. He plays music and sings along to it.

“I went all over Europe.” John shares.

The owner says he did something similar years ago. Berlin was also his last stop before having to go back to Turkey. He decided to come back and stay in Berlin because he found the big love of his life here. He calls her out from the back of the store. They kiss.

After our meal it starts snowing. I try to cover my hair with my scarf, as I don’t want it to become wet. John removes his backpack from his back and grabs an umbrella out of it. I hook an arm in his, to walk closer to him and remain dry. Together we walk back to the hotel.

“John, which place did you enjoy the most?”

He laughs. “I think Berlin is not that bad for a last stop.”

It’s my turn to laugh. We make it to our hotel. We say goodbye to one another. We awkwardly then walk together to the elevator, where we realise that we’re staying in the same wing on the same floor. So we share another goodbye, laughing at our blunder.

I close the door behind me. My room is cold. I drop down on my bed and stare at the ceiling.