Chapter 38 - I Called Her a Worm

Kaya stood there. Sy coughed up blood and fell to the floor. I didn’t have time to think.

Ame and I shot towards Sy to heal him. I would get attacked and die without defense. Thankfully, Dominic and Inda defended us while we healed him. It wasn’t working. It wasn’t working. It wasn’t working.

I pushed my magic into him harder, but the tissue wasn’t reconnecting.

Ramollo yelled out to me.

“It won’t heal, Nell! He doesn’t exist!”

He… what?

Ame yelled out to him.

“Shut it! I’m trying to focus!”

He kept trying to heal Sy, but it didn’t work.

Dominic and Inda were struggling to keep Ramollo away by themselves. They needed Kaya. But she was stuck in place. She muttered something to herself.

“I called her a worm.”

Dominic couldn’t tell her to wake up. He couldn’t expect her to be able to fight. Not after what had just come back to her.

Ramollo struck Dominic in the abdomen while yelling madly to me.

“Sy doesn’t exist anymore! I removed his ‘must’ from existence! When I stabbed him in the heart, my corrosion spread through his being! He is alive. Living beings must exist. Therefore, he must exist! But, when I destroy that final premise, he doesn’t. That thing you look at- that thing you’re healing- it isn’t Sy!”

H-Huh.

Huh?

I put my hand on Sy’s heart. It went right through his body.

I turned to Ame. I didn’t know what to do. I was scared. I didn’t want to lose anybody. I-I-I… I d-dd-diddn’t…

Ame stared down at Sy. He didn’t know what to do. His eyes were blank.

His eyes… they weren’t looking at the non-existent Sy. They were looking into a different reality.

He yelled out to me.

“NELL! SNAP OUT OF IT! HE’S GONE, BUT WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE ANYMORE!”

I was trying.

I was trying really hard.

Tears ran down my face. I didn’t want to disappoint Ame, but my mind wasn’t working.

Mind. Stupid mind. Please. Do as I say.

I heard a deafening cry from my right.

“RAAAAAARAAAAAAGRGAAAHHHHHHHH!”

Kaya gripped her dagger and blitzed towards Ramollo. Fire from under her feet propelled her forward.

She stabbed Ramollo in the gut and shredded his abdomen. He held his stomach and grinned.

“You think that’ll kill me?! My life isn’t being held together by thi-”

He threw up blood mid sentence. He said his life wasn’t being held together by his body. I didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t know what he was capable of.

I didn’t know anything.

I turned to Ame. He was gritting his teeth, holding an ice shotgun up to Ramollo to counter when he could.

Inda was on the other side, making sure he didn’t try to escape. I didn’t know why he would even attempt to escape, especially because he wasn’t even trying to dodge.

Kaya was the only one on the offensive.

Ramollo screamed out to Kaya.

“It doesn’t matter if I cough up blood! It doesn’t matter if I die! I’ll devour you!”

Sy was beginning to fade away. The eyes of The Original Sin began to slowly stop their viewing of him.

Kaya didn’t stop fighting. But, the moment Ramollo attacked, she would no longer exist as well.

Ramollo flew forward and grabbed her neck. We all knew what would happen. I didn’t want it to happen. I would rather stab a sword into my heart than watch this happen.

Dominic screamed out.

“KAYA!”

Her throat was being held. She couldn’t respond.

Dominic screamed up into the sky.

“SOMEBODY! HELP KAYA!”

He was transported into his internal world. I enhanced my vision with RME and looked at it through his eyes.

He fell down to his knees, beside the cliff at the end of the world. He yelled into the abyss.

“Somebody! Please! What should I do?!”

A passage from Aqlli’s book shot through my mind.

“He made a deal with the eighth god to free his people of being lost. In return for the removal of their magic, he gave his people a path to stride on. No matter how lost one would be, a creature of Hell will always come and guide them.”

Dominic felt a presence to his left as he turned his head.

Something was sitting there, beside him. Neither of us could tell what it was. It was almost blurry- as if my senses were being blocked solely for this being.

But, I was sure of one thing.

This being was the King of Hell. And he was here to provide a path.

He spoke to Dominic.

“I can’t help you.”

…

Huh?

“But she can.”

Another blurry yet familiar figure appeared from behind the King of Hell. I could only assume this was the Princess.

She spoke to the King.

“Eh? I never said I could help him either. Kaya’s not ready~.”

Dominic stared at them with wide eyes.

Guidance? Returning to his path?

“Bullshit.”

The divine world wouldn’t help him here, because it was that very same natural law that got them in this situation. That very same inapplicable morality.

“If your god has morals opposite to yours, what do you do?”

He left his internal world and gripped his sword. The essence leaking from his internal world surrounded him, oscillating violently as he slammed his foot into the ground.

“I won’t let Hell take another of my children! KAYA! FIGHT! YOU ARE STRONG, AND…”

I knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to say ‘you are free’. That’s what he had told himself to get through his life.

But at this moment, Kaya had one option.

Dominic screamed.

“AND YOU ARE JUSTICE!”

Kaya’s eyes widened.

I didn’t understand this. Kaya believed the strong were incapable of being just, because the act of being strong causes suffering to those weaker. That is how the natural world worked.

But she thought.

She was strong. And she was “justice”

Not just, but justice.

She screamed again and stabbed her dagger into Ramollo’s arm. This wouldn’t have normally affected him, but this time was different. There was substance in the strike. Every hit carried another ideal that Kaya threw out for the sake of survival.

And every thought brought them back.

One final thought entered her mind. I could tell it was this, because it was the only thing that could possibly be the catalyst for the events that happened next.

It was her mothers final words to her.

“I only wish that you don’t lose sight of yourself. Keep your strength, but don’t let it consume you.”

She wouldn’t let it consume her.

She didn’t care if she had to throw out her morality. That was the price of strength. But mediating strength was the only way to survive.

And that mediator was justice. A judge, moral or not, judges. That was the only key to survival.

The natural world was a chaotic, immoral mess.

‘The seed planted in her… is finally beginning to sprout.’

But, a premise of justice was the only thing needed to make the natural world truly moral.

In Kaya’s internal world, the beings of light and dark continued to burn. But when the final one made contact with the glass box, it didn’t burn. It began to glow. At that moment, the internal world Kaya disappeared and joined the real one.

Two sharp bumps appeared on the real Kaya’s back. Seconds later, wings shot out and ripped holes in the place they grew from.

It wasn’t demonic like Ramollo’s. At least it didn’t feel like it.

Her wings were a solid dark purple- the color of obsidian. Horns grew on her head to resemble a demon, but the sentiment was different.

She spoke calmly.

“I will kill you.”

Ramollo yelled back to her.

“Anger will get you nowhere! I’ll rip those wings off your back, just like you did to your mother!”

Kaya responded.

“This is not out of anger.”

“...”

“This is retribution. The very same job you forced me to take.”

A feather fell to the floor as Kaya appeared in front of Ramollo. I couldn’t even see the moment she moved.

She held her dagger in front of Ramollo’s heart.

And she pushed it in.

The dagger pierced his body as a black liquid coursed through his veins. It was the same thing that happened to Sy. A premise of existence had been removed from his body.

Kaya ripped the dagger out of his chest as he fell to his knees.

She stood above him as he spoke.

“I’ve told you… cough… I don’t fear death. I’ve been destined to die since the moment I was born. But, you killed me because I was weaker. This is how it’s meant to be.”

She looked down at him.

“I did not kill you because I was stronger. This was not a murder. It was an execution.”

Ramollo smirked.

“Whatever. I’ll cease to exist in a moment.”

Kaya nodded as Ramollo stared at the sky and spoke.

“The stars aren’t out… but I can feel them watching me.”

He smiled softly.

“I finally got the recognition I deserved.”

Life disappeared from his eyes.

And he stopped existing.

Without even a moment of silence, Kaya ran straight towards Sy. Her demeanor changed instantly as she shook his body.

She… shook his body? How was she touching him?

Ame realized this at the same time as me. He yelled out to her.

“Kaya! You’re the only person who can touch him! Reverse what Ramollo did!”

She looked incredibly anxious.

Ame saw it as well. He turned to her, with horror in his eyes.

“Do… you not know how?”

Kaya shamefully nodded and cried.

If she didn’t know how, Sy couldn’t be saved. I needed to do something. Knowledge was the only way I could help here.

I sorted through every sentence I had heard in the past hour, until I came across one.

“When I stabbed him in the heart, my corrosion spread through his being!”

Ramollo said the corrosion went through his ‘being’. He didn’t know about the internal world.

I… I understood it. The corrosion was affecting his identity’s existence, not his body’s.

I yelled out to Kaya.

“It’s in his internal world!”

Her eyes widened. She put her hand on his head and closed her eyes. She didn’t need my help to enter his internal world. This was something new to me. Was it because of her transformation?

From inside his internal world, she saw the corrupted string between both selves. And with a single touch, it was purified.

She exited his internal world and stood on her knees. The wings on her back disappeared, but the wounds did not leave. Ame had immediately gone to heal Sy’s physical wounds before he woke up. I put my hands to Kaya’s back to heal the holes that the wings had left there. She was silent while I healed her. She probably had a lot to think about.

“H-Huh? Where’s L’eau?”

Sy had woken up. I didn’t know what he was talking about, but it didn’t matter. Kaya shot forward and hugged him as hard as possible. She grasped him so hard that his wound almost re-opened.

She was silent. Sy was silent. We were all silent, but we didn’t need to communicate using words.

Ame was the first to speak up after this.

“Let’s go back to Cittaglia. The battle here is done, and the trials are done. We need to check on the city.”

Everybody nodded, including me.

I closed my eyes and spoke.

“Right!”

I opened my eyes again.

I was not with everybody.

…

A golden throne sat in front of me, along with the God of Time.

She spoke to me.

“Hello.”

…

“...Hi.”

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Nell’s Notebook: Page 27

Sometimes, when I sleep, I have a dream. It occurs more often than other dreams, and it probably is the majority of all dreams I’ve ever had. It’s not the same every time, but the overall premise of it stays the same.

I exist in a place far off from here. A place far off from where anybody can see me. Under me is usually blood, and I think it’s my own. It doesn’t hurt though.

It just feels cold.

Surrounding me is a box of water. I would normally be able to see through it, but I couldn’t whenever I dreamed. The entire area outside of ‘me’ would be pitch black. But, despite all of that, I wasn’t uncomfortable or scared every time I had that dream.

I wish I would someday feel that dream in reality.

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