File 7.1 - The Lost

It started out as just another day. A long one, but another day. The sort of day that made you want to just fall over. Not out of exhaustion, but rather out of boredom. A routine that continued to slowly grind out with no progress. It wasn’t even that the tunnel was too far away that it was only speck of light. No, rather there was no light at all. It was just a tunnel that ran endlessly, tight and unmoving. Only a single path allowed forward, but with no light and no direction there was no sense of progress.

Stagnation.

That was all it was in the end. That is what it felt like at least. Nothing improved and nothing gained. It was just repetition without the sense that there was growth. But it came out of a lack of motivation. All of the motions happened, but there was no desire to do anything with it. So it just stewed in a thick, oily mess that did no one good.

This was Ed’s life at the moment. A routine that he repeated, but wanted none of it. Even though he agreed and signed up for it, he didn’t want to do it anymore. He had trouble even remembering why he wanted to do it in the first place. Even that part had become hazy.

Sliding open with only the softest of sounds, the door pretended that it didn’t even exist to Ed. Though not the case for Dick. Much like the repetition that never changed, Dick had the same thing to yell at Ed as he left. “You’re falling behind the training regime! You’re on a schedule, son! If you think just because you’ve been made an elite that you slack off then you’re dead wrong! We’ve got plenty of replacements!”

Edgar didn’t even pause. ‘That’s a new threat. I dun ‘member seein’ an’one else like us.’ He dismissed all of the threats from Dick. It wasn’t something that really bothered him. “If ya got others than git’em.” The door slid closed before Dick had any more of a retort back. And he didn’t seem willing to chase.

As he came to the intersection of the hall, Shizuka passed by him. “Hey Su!” he called out. A bit of light came to his eyes when she looked over at him. “How’d trainin’ go today?”

Though she wasn’t fond of the nickname Edgar granted her, it was better than watching him stumble repeatedly over her name. Not that she understood why it was so hard for him to say. “Well, I think. They don’t show me the reports and Ms. Trimlore doesn’t tell me much other than I’m doing good.”

“Oh,” he replied, needing to take it all in for a moment. ‘She’s be’n alot more open in talkin’ tah mah lately. Still a lil’ weird. Still ‘member how she was when we first met.’ Ed walked with her down the hall as they regularly did after training in the simulator. “Still gettin’ yell’d at by Dick.”

“Are you having trouble with training?”

“Nah, I ‘stand it well nuff. Jes ain’t feelin’ it.”

“I see.”

He wasn’t sure what it was about the way she said that, but Ed felt there was something more that she wanted to say to him. It made him scratch his hat and readjust his fedora, which he still wore despite military orders otherwise. He treated it as the one exception granted to elites.

Still the reaction and look that Shizuka gave him bothered him. He stared at her loosely out of the corner of his eye to try to not make it creepy. They kept things casual in their walking. Just two people passing by at the same time.

‘She seems pretty serious ‘bout tah trainin’ these days. Seems strange, since she was so ‘gainst it b‘fore. Whas chang’d?’ The more he watched her, the more he got the feeling that she was almost looking down on him for not being serious about the training. But it wasn’t like he needed the training. They claimed to have a schedule, but he didn’t know what was happening at the end. It seemed like they were going to be on standby their whole lives.

They split ways when they reached the showers. The women’s stalls came first as Ed waved to Shizuka. She disappeared behind the doors leaving him with more thoughts than actual words.

Hitting the showers himself, he passed by a few other soldiers that he barely recognized before reaching an empty stall. Hot water poured over his face attempted to clean out his thoughts, though only to partial success. ‘Jes dun ‘stand ‘er…’ Which summed most of it up for Edgar. She didn’t make a lot of sense when he met her and the longer that they knew each other he felt that any sense of understanding quickly changed. He only would discover something even more confounding that lacked any sense.

Walking out of the stall, he grabbed his towel and started to dry off his hair. Through clumps of his bangs hanging over his eyes he stared back at himself through the mirror. ‘What ya doin’ Ed? Really…’ He had no answer for himself. Before he thought he found that answer, but he wasn’t even so sure of that answer.