Mission Complete?

The mission: Retrieve the accounting file from the office of a company known for dealing with criminal organizations. Reward: 50,000 Kache (Asper’s currency). Level: 0.

On the rooftop of a building directly opposite of their target, Dai watched the target closely through a pair of black binoculars. It has been exactly twenty-minutes since Beyond (their team) started their mission. Behind Dai, Henri and Kimmy were sitting on top of a vent, bored. Meanwhile, Solanus paced the floor with a trembling body, no doubt waiting to release all of her pent up energy in a beautiful display of firepower.

“We shall bring down judgement on our enemies here and now!” Solanus suddenly declared. “Upon them, let us rain down fire and more fire!” she happily shouted proudly.

“Do that and we won’t be able to finish our mission!” snapped Dai.

“Hah! That is where you are wrong! In the end, mere mortals are foolish slaves to archaic concepts such as logic and reason,” said Solanus, shaking her head.

“What’s so foolish about trying to do this right?” asked Dai, looking back at her with a raised eyebrow.

“I, Solanus, a god, transcend logic and reason!” declared Solanus. “We shall complete our mission as so: destroy our enemy with one swift show of our power, retrieve our objective from the ashes, and erase our enemies from existence with the power of fire and brimstone!”

“You just want to explode the entire thing?!” shouted Dai in disbelief. “Actually, that entire plan is only about explosions! What the hell is wrong with you, you pyromaniac?!”

“Hm! The power of fire is all we need to live!” declared Solanus intensely.

“What are you, a caveman?” retorted Dai.

“Then what do you suggest we do?” came Henri.

“Believe or not, I actually have a plan,” replied Dai with a confident smile.

“Good job, perverted strategist,” said Kimmy.

“I’m not a perverted strategist!” objected Dai.

“Strategic pervert,” corrected Kimmy.

“I’m not that either!” screamed Dai at the top of his lungs. He took a huge breath to regain his composure. “Here’s the plan,” he told them, “First, Catnip, you will be this mission’s point man. As the Infiltrator, it only makes sense. Your responsibility is to sneak past enemy lines and get to our target destination. For that to happen, you will take on the identity of Dick Franks, an up-and-coming mob boss who desires funding to build his criminal empire. I don’t have a prepared script on hand, so you’re going to have to ad-lib the entire thing.”

“That’ll be fine,” reassured Henri. “A character like Dick Franks won’t be hard to get up and going.”

“Good!… Why did that just sound very dirty right now?” wondered Dai. “Anyway, next, we move on to Solanus.”

“Bombs!” immediately shouted Solanus.

“No!” replied Dai.

“Explosions!” continued Solanus.

“Again, no!” continued Dai.

“Grenades! Munitions! Fire! KA-BOOM!!!”

“I said NO you delusional pyromaniac!” screeched Dai. He let out a very frustrated sigh. “You will be responsible for demolishing the building once we retrieve our target. As soon as Henri comes back out, you can go ahead and blow the place up.”

“I shall rain down judgement on the sinners with the might of a god!” declared Solanus.

“Sure, go ahead and do that. But only once we complete our mission,” reiterated Dai. Solanus answered with a nod of confirmation. Dai didn’t know why, but that nod unsettled him somehow. He shook his head to clear away those thoughts and turned to Kimmy. “Link, you will be in charge of hacking into the building’s security system and providing us with logistical support.”

Kimmy nodded her head and produced a USB stick. “Use this to retrieve the file. It’s programmed to hack and retrieve important files. It is also encrypted so no one else can see what’s on this USB stick. There’s also encryption to protect it from viruses, hacking, hacking viruses, and viral videos.”

“I don’t think that last part was important,” interjected Dai. He accepted the USB stick and handed it over to Henri. “I will be overseeing the entire operation. I will give instructions using these communicators.” He handed a pair of communicators to each member. As they put on the ear pieces, Dai looked over his teammates once more. This was the first time he actually got a good look at them.

Henri was tall and slim with a very elegant and princely face. Her eyes were a sparkling cerulean that glittered in the sunlight. Her androgynous appearance was more or less centered on her long face that teetered the line of masculinity and femininity. She had lustrous black hair that was normally tied up under her fedora, a simple earring on her left ear, and sexy full lips. Prince and princess, gentleman and refined lady—Henri was both and none at the same time.

Solanus was a little shorter than Dai and had a small, almost childish face. Her eyes were constantly hidden under a pair of black sunglasses, so it was hard to determine what they exactly looked like. Her most noticeable features, though, would have to be her fiery auburn hair that fell past her shoulders. Compared to Henri’s more conventional pinstripe suit attire, Solanus wore a completely black suit that made it impossible to discern where one piece ends and another begins. What’s more, she wore a cape behind her suit (which Dai didn’t notice at all until after they were preparing for the mission)! Her fashion sense was no better than a child’s!

Kimmy was in the middle of Solanus’ and Henri’s height. She had supple white skin like freshly fallen snow and straight blonde hair with bangs hanging just above her eyes. Her eyes, which were often half-way closed as if she was constantly fighting the urge to fall asleep, were a gleaming light emerald. Her constantly expressionless face was her most unique(?) feature. Also, she doesn’t speak much (unless if it’s about technology or safety). Attire-wise, she wore a simple set of T-shirt and khakis.

“Alright, let’s get this mission started!” announced Dai.

“Come in, Catnip. Are you in position?” came Dai’s voice through the communicator.

“Loud and clear, Dai,” replied Henri.

“Call me by my codename,” hissed Dai.

“Ah, yes, it was Pervert, right?” said Henri.

“Of course not!” quickly answered Dai.

“It’s actually Pervert King,” came Solanus through the communicator.

“That’s wrong too!” snapped Dai. “Only one part of it was right!”

“Pervert,” said Kimmy through the communicator.

“Not that part!” yelled Dai. “It’s King! King, dammit!”

“Got it, King Dammit!” said Henri.

“Ah, enough! This team is going to hell before we can even finish one mission!” bemoaned Dai. He let out a long exhale and collected himself. “Let’s just continue on with the mission.”

“Time for judgement!” yelped Solanus excitedly.

“Not yet, you pyromaniac!” snapped Dai.

While Dai and Solanus had their back-and-forth moment, Henri did as Dai said and began the mission. She approached the building and was immediately stopped by security. “My name is Dick Franks,” she introduced herself in a low and wheezy voice. As part of her disguise she wore a short black wig without a hat, lime-green colored contacts, and a baggy attire that screamed out “wannabe crime lord”. Under her left eye was a large mole and underneath her right was a birthmark—although it could also be the opposite…. And as for bringing the Dick Franks character to life, Henri walked with a slumped back and made it a habit to always sport a vacant yet lecherous expression as her default.

The first guard noticed the expression and made a face. “Do you have an appointment with Mr. Logan?” he asked.

“Do I look like I need an appointment?” asked Henri, widening her eyes to appear intimidating.

“Yes, you do,” answered back the guard flatly. “If you do not, we will have to turn you around.”

“W-Wait, wait, wait,” quickly pleaded Henri, “a-actually, I do.”

“Then you should’ve said so from the beginning,” said the guard with a raised eyebrow.

“That was meant as a joke, you see,” said Henri with a laugh.

“A joke,” repeated the guard, unimpressed. He gestured to his buddy and gave Henri the okay to enter the building.

“Dick Franks is in,” said Henri once she entered the building. “Penetration is successful!”

“Good!… That sounded kind of unacceptable, didn’t it?” came Dai through the comm. “Anyway, take the elevator to the top floor. Logan’s office is the one at the very end of that hallway.”

“Got it,” confirmed Henri. She did as she was told and entered the elevator. She pushed for the top floor and the elevator doors closed. Alone and bored in the elevator, Henri suddenly said, “Hey, should we play a little game?”

“A game? In the middle of a mission? Are you crazy?” hissed Dai, amazed at how stupid the suggestion was.

“Oh, let’s play word chain (shiratori)!” immediately suggested Solanus.

“Stop it!” ordered Dai.

“I’ll start!” announced Solanus, ignoring the former. “Red (aka)!”

“Focus on the mission!” snapped Dai.

“Deity (kami),” blurted Kimmy.

“You too?!” exclaimed Dai.

“Trail (michi),” continued Henri.

“Little (chiisai)!” chained Solanus.

“Life (inochi),” followed up Kimmy.

“Fathers (chichioya),” continued Henri.

“Stop (yamete)!” cried Dai.

“Ah, good one, King! So, you decided to play after all!” praised Solanus. “Well, I can do you one better! Partnerships (teikei)!”

“Strawberry (ichigo),” followed up Kimmy.

“Reward (gohoubi),” continued Henri.

“Desirable Woman (bishoujou)!” cheerfully chained Solanus.

“No more words (urusai)!” snapped Dai.

“Stones (ishi),” continued Henri cheerfully.

“Silence (shizukani)!” begged Dai.

“Steak (niku),” followed up Kimmy like usual.

“Crazy goofs (kusodomo)!” cursed Dai.

“Fire (dokaan)!” concluded Solanus. In her excitement, she pressed a button on her wrist.

The sound of an explosion caught Dai’s attention and he quickly looked out from his position on the roof to see a part of their target’s building blown off. Though the explosion wasn’t that big, it put the guards around the building on high alert and they quickly surrounded the damaged area.

“Ah, no fair, Solanus! You cheated!” came Henri.

“That last word ended in a different syllabale,” concurred Kimmy.

“When it comes to fire and explosions, there is no such thing as wrong or right!” defended Solanus.

Dai couldn’t care less about the game. With his body shaking in terror and anxiety, he touched his comm and softly asked, “Solanus, did you do that?”

“Of course!” confirmed the chūni.

“You idiot! Why did you do that?! You’ve just put the enemy on high alert! This mission has quickly become a Level 2 mission!”

“Hm, a mission of such level is no match for a god such as I! Perhaps I shall raise the level even more for one befitting my status!” announced Solanus.

“You better not!” ordered Dai.

“It’s okay,” reassured Kimmy. “I have a contingency.”

“Oh, really? That would really help,” said Dai with a sigh of relief.

Kimmy pressed a button on her computer and a group of drones suddenly flew up around the building she was occupying. They then dashed to where the explosion occured and projected out a light at the area. Suddenly, in place of the ruined area was the projected image of a corner of a brick house decorated with holiday lights and stockings.

“How is that a contingency?!” yelled Dai in terror.

“No one will know the difference,” replied Kimmy straightforwardly.

“Of course they will!” objected Dai. “That image is clearly the image of a house in holiday decorations! It’s not even Winter yet!”

“When they see this, they will not do anything,” pointed out Kimmy.

“How are you sure?” asked Dai, scared of what her reasoning could be.

“Because Santa only give gifts to good boys. Therefore, to be good boys, they cannot do anything bad like shooting people,” reasoned Kimmy.

Dai couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “That’s the most stupidest, childish reason ever!” he responded back.

“Perverts do not get presents,” said Kimmy.

“I don’t need it!” quickly retorted Dai. He monitored the situation once more and noticed that despite the strange projected image, the guards, no doubt confused about what they were seeing, decided not to do anything and returned back to their positions. It was clear as day, though, that their actions were motivated by genuine bewilderment and a desire to not go any deeper regarding the bizarre situation rather than laziness. ‘Looks like we’re safe,’ breathed Dai with a sigh.

By now, Henri had reached the top floor. “Getting off now,” she relayed back to the team. She made her way to the last door at the end of the hallway and knocked. A gruff voice inside told her to enter. Inside, Henri saw Mr. Logan sitting at his desk. He was a portly and balding old man with a big, poofy moustache, and slanted beady black eyes. Henri cleared her throat and said, “Mr. Logan, I am Dick Franks.”

“Mr. Franks? Have we talked before? I don’t believe we have an appointment to meet,” said Mr. Logan.

“Are you sure?” asked Henri with a raised eyebrow. Mr. Logan glanced at the monitor in front of him and returned back a serious nod. Henri cup her hand and brought it up to fake cough while speaking through the comm, “Appointment *cough* now *cough* please.”

“Roger,” replied Kimmy.

“Could you please check again?” Henri requested of Mr. Logan.

Mr. Logan, despite the pure look of displeasure on his face, chose to humor the suspicious guest. He glanced over at his monitor and did a double take. “O-Oh, I see, we do!” he said, his voice becoming more chipper than before. “Now, you said that your name was Mr. Dick Franks, right? What do you want to discuss?”

“What else? Money to fund my criminal empire!” announced Henri with a creepy laugh. She then immediately stopped and turned back to Mr. Logan with a serious expression.

The expression, which seemed to have made Dick Frank’s already ugly appearance uglier, elicited a strange look from Mr. Logan. The accountant, however, like the professional businessman he was, quickly did a one-eighty and said, “Of course! Of course!” He then spoke with more excitement. “So, what are we discussing today? Loans? Credits? Investment?”

Henri wasn’t prepared for Mr. Logan’s quick-fire suggestions and her mind stalled. “Argh, do I look like I know what any of that mumbo-jumbo is?” she quickly yelled out, expressing her anxiety for real. “Besides, I can just acquire those from committing crimes, can’t I? Like sticking up a bank or mugging a sugar daddy!”

Mr. Logan was very flustered by Henri’s sudden explosive comments. “B-But if you want to fund a criminal empire, it is best to do it from a long-term perspective,” explained Mr. Logan.

“Hey, Catnip, you’re scaring our target! You need to do everything you can to get him out so that we can steal the file,” hissed Dai through the comms.

Those words stopped Henri from continuing on with her explosive comments. ‘Get him out,’ she repeated to herself. ‘If there’s any way of doing that, it has to be this one.’ She cleared her throat and slowly approached the desk. As she did, Mr. Logan reacted accordingly by scooting his chair back into the wall. Henri got on top of the desk and, with a more husky and sensual voice, said, “What do you say we get out of here and have some fun?”

“Huh?” came Mr. Logan with a face full of confusion and horror.

“Why don’t we go somewhere with a better mood,” suggested Henri.

“Oh! Y-Y-You mean like at a bar?” said Mr. Logan, interpreting Henri’s message severely wrong.

“Why go to a place with limited thrills? There’s bound to be a better location,” continued Henri.

“Thrills? The amusement park? I highly doubt that’s a good place to have this kind of meeting,” countered Mr. Logan.

“How about somewhere overnight?” said Henri. She leaned closer to Mr. Logan, obviously forgetting about how she looked and the character she was supposed to be playing, and whispered, “Don’t worry. I know a cheap hotel nearby with great service.”

As this conversation was taking place, Dai couldn’t help but writhe in agony over what he was hearing. ‘This deranged nymphomaniac! This isn’t what I meant at all when I said to get the guy to leave! Why are you suddenly offering yourself to him when you need to stay behind and complete the mission?! Now, the old man’s not going to move an inch and this farce is going to end! This is just going to end in disaster!’

“I-I think I need some air,” said Mr. Logan, scrambling to get out of his chair. He then immediately left the room.

“The target is out,” said Kimmy, who was monitoring everything on her computer.

“Not exactly how I imagined it,” replied back Dai. “Honestly, I don’t know if I should be happy or ashamed.”

“Okay, I’ll get right to downloading the file,” said Henri with a smile. She plugged in the USB and was quickly met with a large ‘ACCESS DENIED’ message emitted from the drive. “Oh? That’s weird.”

“What is it?” asked Dai.

“The drive won’t work,” said Henri, taking the USB out and plugging it back in. The message popped up again.

“Why isn’t it working?” asked Dai.

“It’s because I encrypted it,” answered Kimmy.

“I know you encrypted it,” said Dai, “but that’s only to protect it once we complete our mission.”

“There’s also encryption to protect it before using it,” said Kimmy.

“Wait, what?! To protect before—who the hell does that?!” shouted Dai hysterically.

“What if enemies get their hands on it before we complete our mission?” posed Kimmy.

“The USB is blank to begin with!” argued Dai.

“What if they get other information on the drive,” continued Kimmy.

“Wait, the drive wasn’t empty?” asked Dai worriedly.

“Classified documents, government files, access codes, national secrets,” listed Kimmy.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, that’s actually bad,” said Dai.

“The USB is actually empty though,” revealed Kimmy.

“Then what was all of that serious talk for then?!” quickly retorted Dai.

“What-if scenarios,” said Kimmy. “You can never be too careful.”

“Anyway, can you do something about the USB?” Dai asked her.

Kimmy pressed a button on her computer. “Done,” she said.

Henri took out the drive and plugged it back in. Now, a new message popped up: ‘DOES NOT COMPUTE’. “Now it’s saying something else,” Henri relayed through the comms.

“Don’t tell me, was that another encryption?” groaned Dai.

“Mm-hm,” confirmed Kimmy.

“Just how many encryptions did you put on the drive?!” yelled Dai desperately.

“Five,” answered back Kimmy straightforwardly.

“Decrypt them all right now!!!” ordered Dai.

“Roger,” said Kimmy.

Back in the office, Henri heard the front door rustle. “Hurry, please, the accountant is about to enter,” she told the team.

“I shall cause a diversion with a bomb!” quickly suggested Solanus.

“No, you won’t!” declared Dai. After some deliberation, he said, “I’m going in.”

“But aren’t you supposed to be bad in the field?” pointed out Henri.

“I am, but there’s no other way,” said Dai. “Besides, I’ll only be providing back-up. With your expert infiltration skills, I won’t have to do much acting.” As he prepared himself to execute his plan, he was beginning to have second thoughts. But the fact that this would be the only way for them to still have a chance at completing the mission kept him moving forward. “Solanus, get ready to make a big bang,” Dai messaged Solanus.

“Hm, it seems that my time has come!” announced Solanus with a laugh.

Dai quickly ran to the target’s building while waving his hands frantically. “Bomb! Someone’s going to bomb this place!” he shouted while making a beeline for the side of the building. “Someone is targeting this building!” He entered the dark alley and hid there. Meanwhile, the guards all exchanged confused expressions and reached the conclusion that the crazy person running around was just that—crazy. “Okay, Solanus, let it rip,” Dai told his teammate.

“The time of judgement is nigh, but the heavens have not yet chosen to bring down the hammer. For now, have a little taste of what judgement shall bring unto evildoers such as yourselves,” said Solanus, raising her hand with the palm inwards and her fingers spread out. Suddenly, tiny round bombs appeared in the spaces between her fingers. “In flammis dormire, diaboli!” she whispered awesomely as she threw the bombs down at the building below.

The tiny bombs birthed massive explosions upon impact. The explosions sowed confusion and panic among the now scrambling guards, causing a massive commotion and much-needed distraction. It was loud enough to even be heard from within the office on the top floor!

“Huh? What’s going on?” wondered Mr. Logan.

“Should you go check it out?” suggested Henri.

“It’s alright. My men will take care of it,” reassured Mr. Logan, turning his attention back to Henri.

“Oh, uh, ahh! My contact fell!” lied Henri, quickly ducking under the desk. Now that she was in the clear, it was time for her to use one of her skills: ‘Mimic’. With a clearing of her throat, Henri cupped her mouth with one hand and, in the voice of the very guard she first came into contact with just a while ago, spoke, “Mr. Logan, we need you to evacuate! This is very important! Your very life is in danger!”

“Really?!” exclaimed Mr. Logan in fright.

“Yup, really!” answered back Henri in the guard’s voice.

“How dangerous is the situation?” asked Mr. Logan.

“V-Very dangerous!… Maybe,” replied Henri.

“Maybe? Are you sure that my life is in danger?” questioned Mr. Logan.

“Of course it is!” quickly replied Henri. “O-Oh no! They’ve reached the top floor! We need to go, now!”

“W-Who reached the top floor?!” whimpered Mr. Logan.

“A, um, a crazy red-haired girl with two bombs strapped to her hands and a pervert with a very dirty look!” came the reply. “The pervert is actually more dangerous than the crazy bomb girl! O-Oh no! He…He’s pulling some sort of weapon! He just stuck it inside someone’s anus and made him explode!”

“Anus? Explode?!” cried Mr. Logan in horror.

“Mr. Logan, we need to go! Now!”

Mr. Logan quickly ran outside the room without another thought. Once he was gone, Henri wiped the perspiration from her forehead. This had to be one of the most heart-pumping situations she had ever been in! The sweat had made the wig she wore stick to her face and she didn’t like the sensation at all. She took off her wig and placed it on the desk.

Meanwhile, Kimmy had successfully decrypted the third and fourth encryptions. When she was on the fifth, the door the office opened. Dai entered and Henri let out a sigh of relief. “Let’s get this over with,” he told her.

Suddenly, the office door opened again and Mr. Logan walked in with furrowed brows. Henri quickly retrieved the wig and placed it back on her head. “Mr. Dick Franks, I am sorry about today,” apologized Mr. Logan, “It seems that my business is being targeted by some pranksters. It’s not an uncommon occurrence, however, but you are unfortunate to have to come on such a day.”

“Ah, that’s fine,” reassured Henri with a small laugh.

Mr. Logan finally noticed Dai and asked, “Who is this gentleman?”

“I-I-I-I-I-I…,” stammered Dai.

“He’s my personal manservant, Dicky Small. But you can call him Lil’ Dick,” introduced Henri.

‘Is it just me, or does my fake name sound like a backhanded insult?’ wondered Dai.

“He was in the restroom the entire time when we had our first meeting,” explained Henri. She then leaned closer to Mr. Logan and added, “He has very bad diarrhea. Everything he eats just comes straight back out. I heard that his parents made him a literal litter box to use because of how bad his condition was.”

“Has he tried going to the doctor?” asked Mr. Logan.

“Of course, but every medicine he took had no effect at all. The worst were the suppositories.”

“Suppositories?”

“They tried to plug up his butt with them, but they were quickly shot back out as soon as he put food in his mouth.”

“Hey, I can hear you talking and I resent every little thing you just said!” shouted Dai, his face red with embarrassment.

“Anyway, Lil’ Dicky, you said that you have some questions for Mr. Logan, right?” said Henri, gesturing to the accountant with her head.

“O-Oh yeah!” said Dai with a forced smile.

“That’s fine,” said Mr. Logan. “But what about our meeting?” he asked Henri.

Henri immediately clutched her right eye and said, “Ah, I still need to find my contact!” She then proceeded to bend down and searched the floor for her ‘contact’.

“Ah, Mr. Logan, about my questions!” said Dai, quickly taking his place next to Mr. Logan and turning him away from Henri.

The Infiltrator sneaked behind the desk once again. By now, all of the encryptions were decrypted. The USB was downloading the files smoothly and had almost reached 90% when Henri spotted her worst enemy crawling next to her. “S-Spider!” she yelped, jumping up. Her actions surprised everyone, and, unbeknownst, to her, shifted the position of her wig.

“Mr. Franks, are you alright?” asked Mr. Logan in concern. “Also, your hair….”

Henri laughed and said, “Ah, do you like it? It’s a new style!”

“New style? But it just a different style a while ago, wasn’t it?” pointed out Mr. Logan.

“What are you talking? It’s always been like this,” lied Henri.

“Really?” asked Mr. Logan doubtfully.

“Really!” affirmed Dai a little too forcefully.

“Anyway, I still need to find my contact,” said Henri, bending back down.

“Still haven’t found it yet?” wondered Mr. Logan.

“It’s a special kind that blends really well into the background and can only be found tactilely,” lied Dai. ‘What kind of contact is that anyway?’ he admonished himself.

“Oh, I see,” believed Mr. Logan.

‘He believed it!’

Meanwhile, Henri steeled her nerves and blew on the spider for it to go away. She noticed the USB was finally at 100% and reached for it. When she did, the spider crawled onto her hand. Her face quickly darkened and perspiration poured out of her body. “Eek!” she screamed, waving her hand to force the spider off. When she saw the spider refusing to get off, she was finally at the end of her wits. “Get off you stupid bastard!” she screamed angrily as she brought down the hand on the table in a chop that suddenly split the table in half.

‘I knew that she possessed fighting chops and good athleticism, but splitting a table in half?!’ exclaimed Dai.

The spider still refused to die and Henri swung at a nearby file cabinet, topping it over and forcing all of its contents to spill out. Again, the spider remained, and again, Henri did whatever she could to try and force it off. Her actions resulted in broken ceramic from Mr. Logan’s prized decorations and broken glass from the office windows to litter the floor.

“Mr. Franks, what do you think you are doing to my office?!” furiously shouted Mr. Logan. However, Henri wasn’t paying attention to his words at all. “If this continues, then we will have to void—!” Henri, in her blinded fear, chopped Mr. Logan on the neck, causing his eyes to roll back and his tongue to loll out as his body fell lifelessly to the ground.

Finally, the spider jumped off of Henri’s hand and crawled away. Henri was breathing hard and sweating and her heart was beating very fast from the incident. “Finally,” she heaved.

On the other hand, Dai’s face was contorted in horror and disbelief at the sight in front of him. ‘H-H-How did this happen?!’ he screamed. ‘It was supposed to be an easy mission to get some documents. So how did an easy mission turn into this mess?!’ He looked over at Henri, who had finally calmed down completely by now. ‘This…is because I’m surrounded by idiots,’ he concluded.

The sound of rushing footsteps down the hall told Dai that they were going to be surrounded by guards in no time. “We need to go!” he told Henri. Henri grabbed the USB and both of them quickly left the room. As soon as they exited the room, they heard the voice of a guard shouting to his comrades the duo’s position. Dai and Henri ran down the hallway and came to an elevator. The former desperately pushed the elevator button while praying for their safe escape. The elevator doors opened to reveal a group of guards.

Without a moment’s hesitation, Dai grabbed Henri by the hand and led her around the corner to a staircase. Voices from below told him that guards were beginning to make their ascent up the stairs. Again, Dai and Henri ran down the hallway with no solid escape plan at all. Suddenly, Henri spotted a door and stopped. Dai came to a halt and shouted, “What are you doing?!”

“We can escape through here,” she told him. She opened the door to reveal another set of stairs. Dai immediately ran through the door and grabbed Henri and made his way down the steps. Voices from above were slowly closing in on them.

“Solanus! Come in, Solanus!” called Dai through the comm.

“Hm, are you requesting my services?” replied Solanus.

“We’re almost out of the building. Once we get out, I want you to sabotage the building to prevent our enemies from catching up to us!” Dai told her with his voice caught between hysteria and confidence.

“So, you have finally decided to submit yourself before my godly-self!” announced Solanus. “Fine, I shall answer your prayers! Let these sinners witness my power and be purified through my flames! Heaven is crying for these mortals to renew their faith and subject themselves to judgement. I, Solanus, will carry out heaven’s will and administer judgement upon them!”

“Yeah, sure, okay—,” interrupted Dai.

“They shall be grateful for my righteous mercy to purify their dark souls with my righteous flames! This shall serve as a warning to sinners everywhere! Let my flames consume all evil and burn down this den of chaos so that these dirty souls can finally be cleansed with the warmth of holy fire!”

“Um, don’t you think you’re kinda stretching this a bit—?” interrupted Dai again.

“Praise the holiness of fire! Only through fire can the souls of men be purified! Yes, for it is through fire and flames and light that the nature of men be cleansed of desires that have led them astray from the mercy of heaven! As a god, it is my duty to return them to the path of righteousness! My explosive power is all I need to accomplish this goal!”

“Enough is enough! Just do as you’re told!” Dai ordered.

“Hm, I, Solanus, will make this the most spectacular show of purification through fire you’ve ever seen!” announced Solanus grandly. By now, Dai and Henri had made it out of the building. At the same time, Solanus raised up a small remote in her hand. “Flammas divinas purifica!” she chanted. She pressed the button.

The entire building was suddenly brought down by a massive chain of explosions that took out the floors in descending order. When the ground floor exploded, Dai and Henri were sent forward by the explosive force. Dai slowly raised his head from the ground and looked back. Since there was no one chasing after them, it was safe to assume that all of the guards were caught up in the explosion.

“Ah, the USB! Did we get it?” he suddenly remembered. Henri rose up and produced the very object from inside her coat. “Phew,” he sighed in relief.

“Alright! We did it!” whooped Dai, taking a swig of his beer mug. After completing the mission, the team celebrated in a local bar known to be a popular hangout for spy teams. “Ah, that hits the spot,” he said with a goofy smile on his face.

“This mission was a complete success due to my power!” bragged Solanus. “Without my firepower, this mission would’ve ended in failure! Hm, I’d say that I’d really outclassed myself this time. Perhaps I’m ready to evolve from god to mega-god!”

“Kimmy did a good job,” said Kimmy. “No USB, no success.”

“Well, I think we all did a good job,” said Henri.

“Your acting was top-notch!” praised Solanus.

“Perfect,” concurred Kimmy.

“Oh, you really think so?” blushed Henri.

“What the hell are you talking about? You guys were all trash!” argued Dai, drunk. “If it wasn’t for me keeping you guys under control, this mission would’ve failed from the beginning! You fools have me to thank for making this mission a success!”

“Oh, is that Dai?” came a familiar voice from Dai’s past. The voice immediately sobered him up. Dai looked up and saw Gil, the leader of Übermensch, Dai’s previous group, approaching him. Unlike Dai’s averageness, Gil was a super popular agent with slick black hair and charming golden eyes that glimmered like stars. He projected an aura of kindness and heroism and was a guy loved by everyone; but to those who knew his true nature, e.g. Dai, Gil was in reality an arrogant egomaniac with a sadistic streak who loved to pick on weaker agents.

“What do you want, Gil?” asked Dai.

“Hmm, is this your new team?” asked Gil with a smirk that outwardly projected kindness. “Your teammates are all beautiful women, how nice!”

“What about it?” snarled Dai.

“Oh, I just thought that you might’ve been out of the game,” said Gil, still smiling. “Especially since you were recently kicked out from our team.”

The jab stung Dai and he became silent.

“If your team kicked out Dai, who’s skills are top-class and invaluable to any team worth their salt, then I bet your team isn’t all that at all,” came Henri to Dai's rescue with a smile of her own.

“Do you realize who you’re speaking to? I’m the leader of the greatest team in all of Aspen!” argued back Gil with a raised eyebrow.

“Hm, you dare to challenge the power of a team with a god on their side?” added Solanus, posing dramatically. “Mortals should not look to do battle with powers beyond their comprehension! But if you desire a battle, then I will gladly show you the power of my holy flames!”

“Um, okay…,” said Gil, who found her words off-putting and hard to respond to.

“Fool. Creep. Asshole. Buttface. Weiner Head,” insulted Kimmy in one breath.

“W-Weiner Head?!” exclaimed Gil, truly hurt by her words.

“You heard them,” said Dai. He smiled, grateful for the girls’ words. “You may’ve kicked me out of the best team in all of Aspen, but that doesn’t give you the right to talk bad about my new team. I’m going to make you regret for firing me in the first place. You know why? Because I’m going to turn this team into the best team in all of Aspen. Soon, we’ll replace Übermensch as number one. Beyond will be the new number one team!”

Gil had enough of this tomfoolery and scowled. Without a word, he turned around and left.

“Alright, looks like we have a goal as a team,” said Henri.

“Number one,” agreed Kimmy with a smile.

“Victory shall be ours!” declared Solanus.

Dai smiled and topped it off with, “Let’s make our team the best there is.”

“There is no data,” said Gilda.

“Hah?” uttered Dai, taken aback by her words. “A-A-Are you sure?” he asked her, hoping that it was all a joke. Gilda brought out the USB stick and placed it on the desk. Upon closer inspection, everyone could see that the USB’s connector was pinched in the middle.

“Defective,” said Kimmy, pointing out the obvious.

“This can’t be right?! It was working before, right? And you downloaded everything, right?” Dai frantically asked Henri. She replied back with affirmative head nods. “Then…?!” Suddenly, Dai remembered back to the mission and everything made sense. The chase…the explosion…the landing…. “It was because of the explosion! The strong force sent us flying forward and when we landed, the USB must’ve hit the ground and broke!” realized Dai.

“How rude! My firepower did no such thing to you!” objected Solanus. “Apologize!”

“It did everything to us!” barked back Dai. He then turned to Kimmy. “And why was the USB so fragile in the first place? I get that these things are delicate, but there’s a limit to how delicate they can be! And for a spy mission, where anything can happen, I expected a more durable piece of equipment!”

“Situation not taken into account,” was all that Kimmy said back in reply.

“Well, it’s okay. We can try again next time,” said Henri in an effort to calm things down.

“Next time?! You’re the main reason why this happened in the first place! Your infiltration didn’t just make our target wary of us, but you also tried to complicate matters more by hitting on him! And your fear of spiders is out of hand! I mean, who in their right mind would destroy an entire office over a spider like that?! It was because of this mishap that the guards were on our tail and we had to destroy the entire building!”

“Ah, to compensate for the building’s destruction, we will be deducting the cost from your rewards,” revealed Gilda.

“Eh?!” shouted the team in unison.

“It was a mission to receive, not destroy. There shouldn’t have been any casualties,” pointed out Gilda.

“But-But-But,” protested Dai.

“But since you didn’t really complete the mission anyway, you can’t get the reward. So instead, we’ll set up a tab for you! And right now, to compensate for one building’s destruction, Beyond will be deducted 15,000,000 Kache from your next reward!”

Dai couldn’t take it anymore. “Give me back my second chance!!!”