“Don’t Go” or Other Pathetic Lines

In hindsight, it was obvious that the questioning and paperwork had been building up to me getting laid, but my past two weeks spent at the college had dampened my expectations. Scratch that. My life up to when I found the truth from Professor Silva had also been filled with disappointment. It wasn’t as bad as it sounded, because my past failures were my fault, and with Professor Silva’s guidance, I would succeed.

Case in point, I finally went all the way with a woman. Not even Mamie could dispute it this time. Unlike Hanawa-senpai, the Ace Maiden took my virginity.

Her touch was tender but firm, just like silk. She led the movements of our bodies while still giving off the aura of a submissive attendant. Every whisper and moan sank into my skin and directly struck my heart. She granted each of my requests and manifested my wet dreams, as if she could read my mind and access my deepest and darkest secrets. I didn’t mind at all, because the inter-meshing of weight and temperature had convinced me that our two bodies were actually one.

The experience seemed to have lasted a few minutes, but in reality, an hour had passed. The lady, who had given me multiple climaxes, bowed in farewell and slipped into a hidden door before I could say “don’t go” or other pathetic lines.

I didn’t remember much after that, beyond the feeling of ecstasy that lifted me back to my dorm. Waves of pleasure undulated; as once one batch faded, simply recalling the memory of the exploit would bring it back.

The sleepless nights spent reading the tomes of Professor Silva had finally paid off. Even though learning to become a sigma male hadn’t directly contributed to me getting laid, I still had to give the professor credit. Because there wasn’t anyone else I could thank. Also, maybe I could have slept instead of forcing myself to finish three books a day back then.

Amidst all the elation, a fear lingered as if souring my mood was its mission. The consequences of such a heavenly first time would ripple through my life, possibly affecting all the later times when I had sex.

After such an amazing lay, I would struggle to find someone who could pleasure me to such a degree.

Unless, the Ace Maiden had fallen in love with me, then she would offer… no, beg to hook up with me again. I wouldn’t need to worry about any potential disappointment; plus, the thought that someone would sleep next to me night after night had brought an unexplainable warmth to my chest.

These daydreams culminated in the scene of me giggling like a teenage girl. And not long after, I got a notification on my phone of an email from the college, marked as important. Perhaps it was just one of clickbait emails coaxing me into extracurricular activities. But the title was strange. Notice Regarding Your Status as a Student. Were they going to promote me to a teacher?

I chuckled at the possibility as I peered into its contents. My smile faltered as my eyes ran through the text drenched with formality.

“Your status as a student at the college will be terminated starting next semester.”

That could only mean one thing: I was really being promoted to a teacher. I had to be. But reading the rest of the email, along with the return of common sense, had proven the slightest of hope to be pure cope. Apparently, the Ace Maiden contacted the college to petition for my expulsion.

My brain struggled to process the information. What we had… was that just a lie?

Of course it was. I had literally learned it in my classes: those tactics to enchant and deceive. With my delusions shattered, in the face of this crisis, laughter and tears threatened to rip me apart. It felt futile to think about the correct way to react, because how could anyone respond to being kicked out of a training school for sex workers?

Should I be sad about this? Why do I care so much about this place anyway? I could do better. My exam scores could have landed me at a better college. So why?

I answered my own question. It all started with a joke. My friends laughed at the fact that a hooker school existed. They mocked the girls who went there as whores, and the men who went there as pathetic beta losers. They sneered, and one of them, I couldn’t recall which one, raised the observation that I was the only student in the class to meet the grade requirement to apply. I remembered laughing it off.

If Professor Silva had seen me at this college, he would no doubt be disappointed, for a man selling his body to a woman would be the opposite of masculine. How shameful it was. With my handsome face, I had plenty of options. If I wanted chicks, if I wanted sex, I could just pick up a girl on the streets.

But when I was browsing through the colleges, looking at the vast options, they all blended into the same clump of noise. Studies, sciences, arts, engineering, -ologies, every subject was just meaningless babble. In the end, amidst the mess of half-formed decisions, I found myself following my desires and chasing my dreams.

My dream to get laid.

And got laid, I did. So, I could just bid this degenerate place goodbye. The college had minimal tuition fees, as it was funded by the government and the Sex Worker Union, so jokes on them for wasting their money on me. I even got a free appointment in the Golden Rabbit Palace, which cost beyond what most working adults would be comfortable paying for.

Joke’s on them. I lost nothing but a year of my life. I could apply to another college and start fresh next year. With my test scores, it would be easy, though a bit annoying. Still, nothing of value would be lost.

I lost track of when I first sat down on a bench facing the lawn next to the Intimacy Block. The wooden seat strangely felt colder than it should have. For a while, I stared at the carefree grass, still damp from the rain last night. For a while, I scrolled through the contacts on my phone, looking for someone to call. My contact list was in the hundreds, filled with relatives, classmates, and friends I had met from part-time jobs.

There wasn’t a single person I could tell about my expulsion and where I was being expelled from.

Maybe I could frame it as a ridiculous story I had heard from somewhere. About a perverted loser who gave his future to a sex college, only to get kicked out in less than two weeks. We could make fun of this idiot. We could sneer at his failure, and our bonds would be tightened, since we had a common moron to clown on.

At least, the howling breeze was willing to mock the fool with me. I gripped my phone as if it were the sole object keeping me alive. My snicker had died down, and the wetness in my eyes had dried, leaving behind a hole in my soul that shouldn’t have been there.

“You didn’t come to lecture today.” I knew that voice. It had irritated me for the past two weeks, like the endless buzzing of a bee. I glanced up, and the scowling face and green hair greeted me. Her shirt had the word ‘Joy’ on it, but that failed to spark any emotion in me.

She was right about me skipping class. The college wouldn’t record attendance, and more importantly, I was getting expelled, so what was the point of showing up? Finding a new college took priority, and in my spare time, I should enjoy the amenities here while I still could, maybe even bringing girls to the sex rooms to hook up. Normally, I would get aroused just from thinking about the possibilities of getting laid, but not this time.

“Mamie, I’m not in the mood.” My head drooped to observe the greenery again. At the corner of my eye, I could see her plopping down next to me, without thinking to ask for permission.

“Why are you calling me by my first name? We aren’t that close.”

She was right. It was disrespectful, but it wasn’t like I would see her again after today. “Are you in love with me? You are, aren’t you? Why else are you here? I know you have class.” I only said the first things that came to mind. No filter.

“It’s a first-year class, and they don’t take attendance.” Her tone was surprisingly calm, but not enough to soothe the rage that was surging through my veins.

“Then go somewhere else. Go bother someone else. I don’t care. Just don’t be here.” I didn’t need her judgments and comments, as plenty of those came from my inner critic already, but she would certainly give me unsolicited advice again. I could only hope that she wouldn’t realize the embarrassing reality that was assaulting me.

“Do you want a hug?”

Of course, she found out. Of course, she sensed my weakness. Maybe it was better for her to insult me. Because then, I could fight back. Retaliate. And never to show my vulnerability. That was what Professor Silva asked of me. I had to follow his advice, because his wisdom was the only path out of the friend zone that girls usually locked me into.

Women only love strong, independent, and dominating men. That is a fact. So, stop looking at me like this… Her jade eyes were soft and accommodating, as if she already had me in an embrace. A grimace still clung to her face, but it seemed to mirror my sadness instead of being a criticism of it.

My defenses buckled under her gaze, broken by compassion. My vision blurred with an ugly wetness as the body had finally decided for me what emotion I should be feeling. Clumsily rubbing my eyes, perhaps an attempt to shove the tears back to where they came from, I uttered in a pitiful voice. “I’m getting expelled.”