Chapter 9

Ryouta’s POV

I finally managed to find a free evening to go on a date with Shimada, while still having mixed feelings. During the day I was able to focus enough to repress him from my consciousness, but I was helpless when we were spending time in the club room or in my sleep. The worst thing was, since I was dreaming about him I was getting enough sleep even though waking up was bitter, because it was just a dream. I was so angry at myself that I got into that and just believed his stupid talk about charms, yet I didn't want this to end.

“My boyfriend” wanted to surprise me and I couldn't get out of him where he was taking me. He just told me to dress elegantly, which suggested some fancy place I wasn't a big fan of. In my opinion going out to these kinds of places equals wasting money. Prices high as hell, small portions and weird names, which don't say anything to ordinary men like me. The heavy atmosphere, every move counted and highly intellectual talks. And that dress code for now only reminded me of a funeral. I was not ready for that, but Shimada tried to impress me so much that there was no way I could just say no, pick something else.

Who could say no to this overjoyed, sparkling green eyes, proudly confirming the reservation for table for two under his name. Sometimes I forgot that he is somehow famous, so I felt people judging me as his companion. The more their gaze was focused on me the more I felt uncomfortable. Like the place itself didn't make me feel already quite unsettled, but I tried to smile, to make the person sitting next to me happy and to make up for my wrong opinion about him from the beginning.

Spending time with him was nice and easy, comforting and funny at times. Observing and gathering data about every detail of him was an interesting task. And teasing him was quite an entertainment. I could see and experience that he could be very caring and I wanted to give this relationship more, but still I had a problem with reasoning it.

There was no good answer for my question like Why did he get interested in someone who is not really approachable, when he could have anyone? Not that I wish to ever get close to him, if not that our first accidental meeting, but Shimada was a league on his own, never for me to reach. He could have anyone? What the hell am I doing on a date with him? I was having this moment of self doubt while watching him confidently making an order and talking to a waiter. I didn’t even realize that I was holding an open menu, but nothing was getting to my mind. The waiter asking me what I would like to order snapped me out of my miserable flow of thought.

“I will take the same,” I answered quickly, avoiding Shimada’s eyes.

My leg was tapping uncontrollably and I would love to run away, even though my date tried to engage me in a conversation, but I couldn't deal with feeling uncomfortable and that sudden lack of confidence.

“You don’t like it here, right?”

The sadness in his voice, he couldn't hide, was like a sting for my heart. I was sure he would rather hear that I loved that place he chose, but I wasn’t honest with him from the beginning, I shouldn’t do it anymore.

“Honestly, no. I am not a big fan of places like that, but I really appreciate your efforts.” I smiled, but that didn’t ease him, still as expected from him, he didn’t lose his composure in contrast to me.

“And I appreciate your honesty.” Shimada admitted, but lost his appetite. “Not I am defending myself, but I heard that was one of the best ideas for dates, and I only got three chances, so…” He shook his head. “Sorry for not meeting your expectations.”

“It’s not like that…”

I didn’t know what got into me, if I wanted to hold his hand and say that it was my fault not to be easy to be known. But somehow only thing I managed was to break a glass and cut myself, trying to celan it before anyone notice. However the waiter was quick and told me to move away with a frustrated tone. Yeah, I know I don’t fit this place.

“Let’s just go. I see you are not feeling well. Just wait outside, I will deal with a check.”

Shimada’s voice was calm and he gave me a reassuring smile, and turned to a waiter with anger in his eyes. I left with embarrassment all written over my face and going circles, while waiting for my boyfriend. He wasn’t mad at me more at himself.

“That was not the best first date ever, two more to go,” he sighed heavily.

“Not gonna use another charm?” I asked, a bit disappointed.

“I will see, but I hope that I won’t need another for next dates.”

I saw that smirk and looked down, knowing it won’t hide my red cheeks, then I noticed that blood was dripping from my hand and quickly hid it behind my back. Not discreetly enough, as Shimada found out that I was hurt the second later. He sat me on the nearest bench and ran to get some medicamanets. I was waiting watching another drops falling down, like with every one reaching the ground my feelings for Shimada Katsuo got deeper.

His hands were shaking when he was taking care of my wound. I had to use an opportunity to ask the question, before the bravery will be gone.

“Why?”

“You really ask hard questions, Nagata. Please make it a bit easier for an idiot like me?”

“You are not an idiot!” I was outraged. “I just wanted to know, why did you even start talking to me that first time?”

He finished, but didn’t want to let go of my hand and it felt so nice, so I just waited patiently til he would find the words for the answer.

“I think I mentioned to you that the puzzle club is only on paper, so I could belong to one. I didn’t expect anybody to come there on their own free will, so I just got surprised and curious about what brought you there.”

“I was just looking for a place where I could rest for a moment.”

“I guess you didn’t think that movement would lead you here.”

“At all.” I shook my head, rident. “Now I am quite happy about the result.”

His smile was from the lethal kind, my heart could barely take it. With every gesture like that I was falling deeper for this charming reality bender.

“But don’t ask me why I thought that saying yes would be a funny joke, I also didn’t know where it would put me. And I don’t mind where I am now.”

“Sorry for destroying our first date.” I had to admit that it was actually my fault. I could not have fun, but still didn’t make a situation making us leave the restaurant.

“That’s for the better. I forgot how beautiful stars are.”

Shimada Katsuo was looking at the night sky with amazement over a nature clearly visible on his face, holding my hand, being in love with me and making all the moves. While I was still regretting thinking about this relationship as some sort of game, so I decided that it was my turn. I straightened up and cleared my throat.

“We have been a couple for a while, I think we should have started using our names long ago, Katsuo.” Our eyes met for a moment, but it felt like forever. Just us. And I don’t think he would need three dates to make me want to kiss him. Caught in the moment I was ready to do so then. Nah, not so easy.

“I would love to, Ryouta.”