My Beloved Someone

The gray sky looks blinding to me now. I squint behind the mask as I emerge from the jail. Escape was easier than I thought. Sure enough, there was no one else in the same hall as me. The jail is broken up into several floors, each with only three cells. All the better to keep us isolated, I guess.

But I know that other man was there.

There's a few other delivery men guards, but I pass them by casually. Finally, for the first time in my life, I feel power course through my fingers. But that's still not enough. I need to be quick if I want to get out of here before they realize.

Looking around, I find myself to be in the center of town. Most of the jail is below ground, with only a tiny unremarkable building visible above. I start to imagine how much worse the prison at the main complex must be, but stop myself before I get too far. That doesn't matter anymore. I'm free.

As I walk I feel a creeping sensation begin to climb up my legs. I walk quicker, but I can't escape it. The feeling keeps growing and growing until it's grabbed onto my heart. It's like thick tar with toxic fumes. The urge to vomit comes back. My breathing becomes more ragged with every step. The mental poison of a few minutes ago is now suddenly hitting me.

They'll be coming for me.

Free? How stupid can I be?

My stride pick up pace until I'm running through the streets. A small crowd parts before me. People avoid looking at me, as not to see themselves staring back at them.

What have I done? I wasn't thinking, I just acted as soon as I could. I can never go home again. But that's still where my legs are taking me. This lethargic sensation might have made me realize the consequence of my actions, but it won't let me think of any better ideas.

Will Elyna be able to help me? Will she even want to?

Why did Auizia sell me out?

There. The house, I can see it.

I can't stay. No matter what, I can't stay here for long. They'll be here looking for me soon.

As I go to open the door, I hear muffled voices coming from inside. Dammit, did they get here first?

My shoulders heave with my heavy panting from running. I don't know what to do. Do I hide, and wait for that person to leave? What if they don't leave?

But before I can make a decision, I start to make out some of the words from inside.

"…shame…" That's Elyna's voice. "Would've… he… longer…"

Her voice is casual. I think I even hear her laugh. My masked face presses towards the door as I try to hear more.

"Thanks…" She laughs again. "…gotta… home… I'll… meal…"

I can only hear her voice. I strain and strain, but can't make out a second person. Sure, Elyna likes to talk to herself sometimes, but not like this. She's having an entire conversation. But there's no one there. And we don't own a telephone.

Who is she talking to?

"No… look… remembers…"

Dammit, I can't hear any more than this.

"…Solen…"

My throat loses all its moisture. If there were someone else inside, then sure, I'd obviously hide until they were gone. But no matter how much I listen, there's no one there. Heat bubbles from my fingers all the way to my head. I need to know.

The knob turns, unlocked. I burst through the door with all my strength. "Elyna!" I cry. The fact that I'm dressed as a delivery man slips my mind. I make no effort to conceal my behavior or voice.

Sure enough, there is no one in the room besides Elyna.

She turns to look at me, and smiles like normal. Her eyes are soft, as always. The corners of her lips are accented by dimples I know so well on display.

For some reason, this scares me even more than Auizia's look of disgust.

"E…lyna?"

"Hey, Solen," she says, brushing off some ash from her skirt onto the floor. "Oh, got a new costume? It looks good on you."

I grind my teeth together. This isn't the time for her jokes. Brushing past her, I storm around the house, peaking into the bathroom, the cupboard, and even under the bed. Wood bends and cracks as I fly around searching. The aluminum animals shake as I open and slam the cabinet doors. Who cares if I look like an idiot?

"Who were you talking to?" I demand.

"Hm…?" She gives me a casual frown. "Solen, it's just me here. I wasn't talking to anyone."

"No!" I yell, kicking the dining room chair so hard it falls over with a loud crash. "I heard someone! I could hear you talking to them! Tell me!"

Instead, she gives me that same pitying look as the other day. Stop it! I'm not crazy!

She traces her hand over the top of the table as I walk circles around her. "I heard you got arrested," she says, and for a moment I'm actually relieved. Finally, she said something true. "That's not good. You should be more careful. Don't want to spend the rest of your life in the slammer, right?"

"Don't change the subject!" I'm so desperate now I feel myself start to cry. Dammit. I'm happy the mask covers my face. "Why are you lying to me! How long have you been lying to me!"

I don't even give her time to respond before continuing,"Why don't we have a mirror! Why do I know what a window is if I've never seen one! Why does my face keep changing! Why did Auizia sell me out! Why!"

But she just shakes her head and approaches me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Just calm down," she says. "I know you're tired. You spent the night in jail, didn't you?"

Why doesn't she believe me?

Elyna… Elyna… how could she do this to me! My own… My own….

…huh?

She's my… she's my own…

With a thump, the agony in my head returns. Elyna is… she's my… wife, isn't she…?

Or is she my sister?

I dive into my memory, but I can't remember a single time we've kissed. I don't remember holding her close, or even lovingly gazing into her eyes.

With a tug I rip my arm away from her and take a step back. My childhood flashes by like pages in a book. I remember my father and mother. I remember the time with the deer, and I rack my brain. Was there someone else sitting at the table with us? I can't tell.

Smack! I hit the sides of my head, trying to force myself to remember. It hurts. My brain hurts. My head throbs and from the corner of my eye I see the shadows again.

Why can't I remember? Who is she to me? I think about the layout of our house. It's a tiny cabin, only one room aside from the bathroom. With a single bed. So… she must be my wife, then.

But… I remember waking up yesterday morning, recalling rolling over in bed and almost falling off. My bed is only made for one person. I see her in the mornings. The more I try to think, the harder my head starts to hurt. Where does she sleep? Our house only has one bed!

"Ahh….. aaahhhhHHHHHHHHHH!" I scream and hit my hands against my mask even harder. My headache throbs so hard I feel like I'll pass out.

WHO IS SHE.