Word Inflation

【POV: Tetsuya】

Following the gravel path circling behind Kinkaku-ji, the air began to cool under the interlocking canopy of ancient trees. Akari-sensei was at the front of the pack, her stride bursting with unearned confidence as she brandished a borrowed tour flag.

「Listen up, kids!」 Akari-sensei pivoted to walk backward, clapping sharply to rally her weary troop of students. 「I'm taking you to a real masterpiece now. The real centerpiece of this garden!」

The exhausted group looked up. Riku adjusted his frames; Yuria finally let Mari be. She was about to pull some kind of stunt.

「The Ryūmon-taki!」 Akari-sensei threw her arms out, her tone theatrical like a narrator for a paranormal documentary. 「Legend has it that this is where the carp swims upstream, leaping over the Dragon Gate to transform into a mighty Divine Dragon! Prepare yourselves to be humbled by the thundering falls as they cleanse your mundane souls!」

She was selling it so hard that even Mari was craning her neck to see the legendary waterfall.

We rounded a small corner. The faint sound of trickling water echoed.

Akari-sensei hopped onto a small rock, gave her short hair a stylish flick and pointed forward.

「TADA!!!」

Class 2-A stopped dead. The air went deathly silent. There was only the rustling of leaves and a faint... trickle... sound.

Before us stood a rock wall maybe two meters high. Right in the middle, a stream of water... as thin as a noodle, was dripping into a tiny puddle, splashing against a rock. The flow was so feeble that I'm certain a stiff breeze would have sent the whole waterfall flying sideways.

Riku pulled his glasses off, gave his eyes a good rub, and shoved them back on. 「Is this a joke? This... this is a waterfall? This thing is more underpowered than my showerhead! If I let the water run like this at home, my sister would slap me silly for not turning on the pump!」

Yuria stood there, hands on her hips, sighing deeply. 「If a carp actually climbed this leaky faucet, it must have been a bacterium, not a fish.」

We were missing a little something—a sound effect—and this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! I reached into my pocket, pulled out my phone, and navigated to the soundboard I kept specifically for extinguishing the club's dead jokes.

Creak... creak... creak...

The sound of crickets chirping echoed steadily through the cool forest, harmonizing flawlessly with the suffocating tension in the air. The class broke into snickers, all eyes on me.

But Akari-sensei didn't crack. She didn't look awkward at all. That corporate smile of hers vanished instantly. She swept her hair back, her gaze suddenly turning sharp.

「Very good.」 She gave a firm nod, stepped off the boulder and folded her arms. 「This reaction is precisely what I wanted to see. Disillusionment, frustration...」

She pointed her finger at the trickling waterfall.

「Welcome to your first real-world lesson of this trip: The Dumpster Fire of Dirty Media Hype.」

The cricket chirps from my phone died out, replaced by our teacher's steely presentation voice.

「You spend your days scrolling X, YouTube, TikTok. You see tons of videos screaming: "Places That Don't Seem Real!", "Views So Surreal You'll Doubt Reality!", "Natural Wonders That Defy Science!"... Am I right?」

Riku and several others gave an instinctive nod.

「Is it beautiful? Sure, it has its own artistic merit. But is it "something that shouldn't exist on Earth"? Nah. It's as Earth-bound as it gets, follows every law of physics and is ordinary as hell.」

Akari-sensei turned back to us, a smirk tugging at the corner of her mouth.

「Stop letting algorithms gaslight you. It's those online content creators who create the illusions, not some deities.」

Gotta give it to her—the delivery was over the top, but the core idea was pretty damn cool.

「Preach, sensei!」 Yuria snapped her fingers. She marched to the front, hair blowing back, her expression shone with the thrill of finding a fresh reason to scorn human nature.

「This exact logic fits today's cheap romantic nonsense perfectly.」 Yuria turned to the class and began preaching with the tone of the Debate Club President. 「Just look at the way guys flirt using the same old scripts: "You're my world", "I'd lose the whole universe without you". Trash! All of it! It's nothing but linguistic inflation!」

She pointed directly at the pathetic stream of water.

「Love is no different from this waterfall! It's real, but inflating it to a galactic scale is nothing more than emotional clickbait! If you're in love, say you're in love. Why lie about "the whole world" only to end up as total strangers after a breakup?」

A scattered but incredibly enthusiastic round of applause erupted from the class's eternal singles. They looked like they'd found their Messiah.

But Riku wasn't buying it. My friend let out a dry snort.

「Spoken like a true Forever Aloner.」 His voice dripping with mockery. 「You read a couple of philosophy books and think you've seen it all. Wait until you're actually in a relationship. I bet ¥10.000 your mouth will start cranking out those cheesy lines smoother than Gemini! I can hear it now: "Oh, you're the light of my life"... Barf!」

「What did you just say to me, you loser?!」 Yuria's face turning crimson. 「Not a chance! My logic would never allow me to distort reality just for some love hormones!」

「Drop the act. You're just coping with the fact that you're dateless...」

In the midst of their usual verbal combat, a tiny giggle reached my ears. Mari was covering her mouth, shoulders quivering. She was barely holding it together.

Caught off guard, Yuria and Riku stopped mid-insult and looked our way.

「What's so funny, shorty?」 Yuria frowned. 「Did I miss something?」

Mari shook her head rapidly and clutching my arm for support as she turned her shimmering gaze toward Yuria. 「No, no. You're absolutely right.」 The way she tried to hide her twitching smile was nothing short of cute.

I looked down at the small girl clinging to my side, then met Yuria's irritated stare. 「Yuria's right, from a human perspective.」 I nodded to my Heretic friend.

I paused for a beat, glancing at Mari, her eyes were radiating light. 「But...」 I gave Mari a light pat. 「You'll have to cut me some slack, Yuria. Because when I tell Mari those things... I'm speaking in literal terms.」

The atmosphere fractured into two distinct reactions. On one side, the four members of the Debate Club.

「AAAAA! SAVE ME!」 Yuria holded her head as she made a beeline for the exit. 「DIVINE PDA! DISGUSTING!」

On the other side, the rest of Class 2-A just stood there eyes wide as they watched Yuria flee for her life before erupting into a frenzy of whispers and cheers. A few girls were clutching their cheeks convinced I'd just unleashed an ultimate romantic move.

「Good lord, Mori-san is smooth as hell!」

「Wait, what does "literal meaning" even mean? Does the Earth orbit Shushō now?」

「Seriously, these Debate Club nerds and their weird jokes...」

「It's obviously just "You are my everything" talk. Cringe! No wonder Kanda-san bolted!」

They laughed it off, assuming it was just some pretentious inside joke among the intellectual crowd.

Akari-sensei was leaning against a nearby pine tree, pushing her sunglasses up onto her forehead. She nodded like a seasoned veteran of the game.

「Not bad, Mori. Using Kanji to flirt, are we?」 She gestured toward Mari, clarifying for the clueless onlookers. 「Amano Mari. "Mari" is written as "Ultimate Truth" (真理). He's basically saying she's his absolute principle. Deep stuff, boy. 10 points for sophistication, but I'm docking 5 for assaulting the singles' eyes.」

I didn't bother to set the record straight, just shrugged. Truth is often mistaken for hyperbole—that's just the way of the world.

〈Mari's Note for Mortals〉

Did you catch Akari-sensei's lecture, you lot? If I catch any of you posting cringey, word-inflated stuff on Insta, that's a sin! The punishment is... well, what was it again? Whatever, just know that committing a sin against the Lord is enough to make you repent! (Go ahead and repent already).

Anyway. The Ryūmon Waterfall in this chapter isn't just the specific name of that one waterfall. It comes from an old legend that if a carp manages to swim up a waterfall flowing through a narrow mountain pass called the Dragon Gate (in China), any fish strong enough to leap over those towering falls will shed its skin, grow golden scales, and transform into a dragon flying into the heavens!

Man, that sounds intense. Your ancestors really knew how to exaggerate, for real...

And because that legend became so famous, many waterfalls across East Asia ended up being named the same thing. But wait! Isn't that exactly the "word inflation" problem Akari-sensei was talking about?