One More Person Who Thought We Were Boinking

“See you two later. We have somewhere to be,” Nakaya-san waved at Mamie and me. Chiaki-san stood nearby with her hands around her waist, staring at me with a sharp gaze that might linger on me even after she left. In the face of this vague threat, I merely smiled and returned the goodbye.

This pleasant gesture of farewell wasn’t entirely for show. The stress from talking to Chiaki-san might have reduced my lifespan by a few years, but Nakaya-san had been nothing but friendly. There was no one I wanted to be friends with more. I almost forgot that she was the Vice President of the Union.

“You looked like you wanted to leave with them. Maybe you should get a job at the Union after you get kicked out,” Mamie said when it was only the two of us left in the front yard.

“Your mother and Nakaya-san have agreed to help me. I might be able to stay in the college.”

“Good for you.” She crossed her arms and pouted. It would have been a cute look if not for the fact that I had no clue why she was acting this way. Did she feel left out? Nakaya-san did ask to leave right after Mamie returned with the refilled pot of tea.

Dear Professor Silva, please give me the answer! No one responded to my muted plea, so I had to think of something to say all on my own. “We only talk about how great prostitution is.” That sounded wrong for some reason.

She shrugged and sighed. “I know. Mom loves to go on and on about that.”

We stood as the spring breeze knocked away the awkward stillness. Mamie seemed to take it as a cue to turn back to the house.

“I didn’t realize you actually had social skills,” she mumbled as she stepped to the door. Maybe if she had hers, she would have kept that line in her head and not ever said it out loud.

“Are we going back to the college?”

“You go ahead. I have errands to run.”

“I’ll go with you.”

Mamie stopped as she was about to open the front door. Her glossy hair swayed as she looked at me. “Are you this obsessed with stalking?” Contrary to her unprompted slander, on her face was a beaming smile that I had come to know.

Does this girl have a stalking fetish? I didn’t say this out loud, because I actually had intact social skills. I also couldn’t tell her that getting her elected as the college representative was part of my deal with her mother. Nakaya-san advised me against it, saying that, “Mamie-chan is someone who doesn’t like to take help.” Though I had a less elegant wording for these ‘someones’: a pain in the ass.

So I had to lie to her about my agenda. “I want to learn more about the ways of an escort.” Oh, no. That sounded too ironic. Mamie stared at my face, and then she chuckled, not mockingly, not sarcastically. A straightforward, honest laugh.

“Right, you really need more guidance in acting and lying. I might not be the best person to teach you, but sure, I’ll at least practice with you. Not the lewd stuff, don’t even think about that, since we are only FAKE friends with benefits.” With the crinkles up to her cheeks being as obvious as the wall cracks in the surrounding houses, I wondered who was the person really in need of better expression control.

Regardless, I wasn’t going to complain, not when the sparkling joy made her prettier to look at. I knew full well that she had seen through my lies, but she still displayed genuine mirth. An abrupt warmth pulled the corners of my face into a grin against my will, and I had just noticed my heartbeat thumping more intensely than usual.

Was that from the danger brought on by an exposed lie? Or it must have just been the angle of the sun, coincidentally highlighting her face in a way that amped up her hotness.

“Let me grab something. Wait here.” She dashed into the house without hearing my reply. I swore that as the front door shut between us, her cheeks seemed redder under the indoor lighting.

***

When she said she had an errand to run, I didn’t take it to mean that she would be bringing me to Kabukicho. The deadly traps disguised as city blocks loomed on both sides with their imposing billboards. Touts blocked the path to force potential customers to spare them a glance. My sneakers scraped against the concrete floor, the only way I could articulate my cry for help without physically screaming.

From when I was young, I had heard warnings of a place that was basically the birthplace of drug addicts and violent criminals. A trash heap where sins would grow. Hell on Earth. That place was called Los Angeles, a city in America. And my parents told me that Kabukicho was only slightly better.

“This is a place for adults…” I whispered to Mamie, who was taking the lead on this dreadful trip. She was still wearing her casual getup of a white T-shirt with dark blue shorts.

“We are adults.”

“I heard that people get killed here.”

“You already went to Love Hotel Hill the other day. How is this different?”

“Didn’t you hear the part about people getting killed here?”

“People get killed everywhere. That’s why the police force exists.”

I clung to Mamie’s shoulders, not caring that my hands were literally shaking. “Where are we going? There has to be somewhere better and safer to run your errands.”

She glanced back at me. “I wish this were the case.”

“Are the groceries cheaper here? Is it worth it to die for a few hundred yen?”

She didn’t entertain me with a reply.

Despite my constant requests for her to clarify her ominous warning, we arrived at the apparent destination in silence. A karaoke bar with a swaying overhead sign that might fall at any moment. Duct tape with varying degrees of wear and tear crisscrossing the cream-colored surfaces that were clearly intended to be white. The smell of earth and urea reached my nostrils, leaving me with questions about their origins that I didn’t want answers to.

Mamie had reserved a room. While leading us to it, the staff gave me a curt nod and a sneaky thumbs-up. This isn’t what you think… But I guess since we had already pretended to be sex friends in front of Mamie’s literal mother. What was one more person who thought we were boinking?

“What are we doing here?” I asked once the door shut, and we settled into the booth.

“We are waiting for someone.” Wow, she still refused to elaborate. And so, I was forced to endure the restless nothings that came next, tapping my feet and boiling in uncertainty. Sweat oozed from my cheeks even though the air conditioning was functioning just fine.

What was she doing? Looking over her notes on her tablet, causally.

“Hey, is this related to the college representative election?” I asked with a whisper, even though we were literally in a soundproof karaoke room.

She looked up at me with narrowed eyes. “Why are you asking about that?”

“Just passing the time. I heard there’s an election-”

“Nope. It’s not. And if you’re bored, you can leave.”

Leave? On my own? Through these streets? Is she kidding?

“What’s so important if it isn’t about the election?” My tone was a little ruder than I would have liked, but in my defense, this danger-filled place had collapsed my mind into a dumpster.

“Why are you suddenly so obsessed with the election? Where did you even learn about it? Wait a second. Did Mom say something to you?”

Uh oh. Out went my deception. The worst part was, I didn’t even care that much that she was a few steps away from the truth. I just wanted to leave.

But before I could blow up at Mamie for being insensitive to my distress, the door to our room swung open. Standing there was a petite figure in a dark hoodie, wearing sunglasses and a standard blue surgical mask. In other words, stalker outfit. Over their shoulder hung a dark gray duffel bag that couldn’t be more suspicious if it tried.

Oh shit. We’re dead.