Villainess Debut

♪ Adagio (Present) ♪

I decided to accept Poet’s offer to act as my bodyguard. He had seemed gallant at first, but once things settled down a little, I could see how terribly exhausted he looked. I did not know the details, but it seemed that things between him and his brother were far from simple.

Following the route Zoffi had told us about, we came down from the mountain and made our way into town. At first, we tried to travel by teleportation magic, but for some reason it did not work. I wonder why.

Once we arrived in town, I suggested that we part ways there, but he said he would protect me until morning. How dependable.

It was already eleven at night, but we somehow found an inn willing to take us in. After negotiating, we were told that only a twin room was available, and so we took it.

“S-sorry. It would be awkward for you, wouldn’t it, staying in the same room as a man?”

“I don’t mind. It can’t be helped at this hour.”

Just being treated as a member of the opposite sex made my heart flutter a little. N-no. A man must not be happy about something like this. Even though I am a man, I am a shameless and dangerous creature, leading another man on.

“Um, properly speaking, nice to meet you. My name is Poet. As you can see, I’m one of the rabbitfolk. Aside from the long ears and the white fluffy hands and feet, we’re almost exactly like humans. Our hair grows the same way too. There’s a legendary creature called a rabbit, but while we resemble them, we’re a different race.”

He gave me a brief explanation of the rabbitfolk. Well, I already knew most of that. But once he started explaining his race, I felt like I ought to explain the dragonfolk too.

“My name is Adagio. I’m one of the dragonfolk. Other than having green hair, I look mostly human at first glance. It’s not like I have scales or anything. Um, unmarried dragonfolk women normally wear something called a lip cover. It’s to prevent kissing.”

Ah. I’d gone and shared an unnecessary bit of trivia.

“You’re not wearing one.”

“I am unmarried, but I have special circumstances, so I’m not wearing one.”

Well, I had only just become a woman, after all.

In any case, it would be impossible to have one fitted now. By dragonfolk custom, the physician who fits a woman with her lip cover is someone who has known her since birth. There would be no one willing to take on a newly appeared woman of my age with no official family registry.

“If I remember right, dragonfolk women fall in love with the man they kiss, don’t they?”

Caught off guard by that response, I covered my mouth with my hand. It felt just like a girlish gesture.

“You know a lot. A dragonfolk woman spends the rest of her life infatuated with the man who takes her first kiss. That’s why young women are protected by their parents and siblings, and their fiancés are decided early. Since they can only live by depending on men, dragonfolk society tends to be more male-dominated than other races. And the men, in turn, tend to live by their pride.”

“So... have you already had your first kiss?”

“And what exactly would you do with that information?”

I shot back without thinking, answering his question with one of my own. What did I think he was going to do with that information? Idiot. I’m such an idiot.

Silence filled the room as we sat on the beds. Poet’s hand slowly crept toward me, inching closer like a measuring worm. I adjusted my angle a little, making it easier for him to take my hand.

Waaah. There’s a boy and a girl alone together in a closed room, and I’m on the girl’s side now.

A boy was working up the courage to confess his desire to me, a proud prince risking injury to his dignity just by doing so. And now the power to accept or reject him rested entirely with me. I’m not the kind of person who should be entrusted with such an enormous decision!

N-no. If my heart races too much, my body will start glowing. My pride as a man! My heart would not stop pounding.

Should I close my eyes? B-but this is practically our first time meeting. Something like this is wrong. My throat was starting to feel dry. Right. Yes. I had to do something.

“Ah... I’m thirsty.”

I stood up and poured jasmine tea from the pot in the room into a cup. My voice was so shrill. Even the sound of my own swallowing echoed absurdly loudly.

Poet looked crestfallen. Did this mean I had just turned him down? Don’t look at me with those tearful eyes.

“S-sorry. I don’t know what came over me,” Poet said, clutching his head.

That made me feel like some kind of villainess. As if I had been toying with the heart of an innocent young boy. A sharp pain ran through my chest.

That night, nothing happened between man and woman. We simply slept side by side in the twin beds.

When I woke up the next morning, I found myself alone. I had taken so long to fall asleep from nerves, after all.

The landlady came in to clean, so I asked where Poet had gone. She told me he had already left after paying for both of us.

He must not have wanted to drag me into danger. He really is kind.

The landlady’s belly was rather large. Could it be...? As I stared, she laughed.

“Ah, I’m four months along. I hope I give birth to a healthy child soon. We need an heir for this place too.”

Even as she explained that, she looked at me in exasperation.

“More importantly, you. Your hair is a mess. You’re a girl, aren’t you? You have to take better care of yourself. Go take a shower.”

“But check-out time—”

“Hahaha. Don’t worry about that. We don’t have many guests today.”

But it had been nearly full last night. The landlady was being considerate. Still, I decided I might as well accept her kindness. All I had was Allegro’s one set of unisex clothes, and at the very least I ought to wash away as much of the sweat and body odor as I could.

When I took off my clothes, I found a fairly generous chest—and between my legs, what ought to have been there was not there at all. I really had become a girl. Even though it was my own body, it felt somehow improper, like I was doing something wrong. My own body felt a little indecent, somehow.

For now, I decided to take a shower. It felt as though both body and soul were being washed clean.

Freed from the cage that had been Allegro’s body, I was finally free as of today. I could go west or east. I could work or play. Anything.

And yet, for some reason, emptiness took hold of me.

I remembered hearing about a country where a terrorist coup had succeeded. The terrorist group had become the new government, and the soldiers who had once raced across battlefields now spent their days buried under mountains of paperwork and procedures as civil servants.

Those former soldiers had fallen into despair. Even though they had finally gained the power and peace they had long desired. Their sense of purpose had always come from defying something greater than themselves. They had never possessed any vision of what they would do if they were the ones in power.

In another world’s China, there had once been a country called Xin, which existed only between the Former Han and Later Han. But that too had merely been a rebel regime, and I had heard it quickly perished.

Maybe I was the same as them. My role had always been to oppose Allegro whenever his ambition drove him to scheme and act. I rejected Allegro as he cursed the world and cursed others—but perhaps I, in rejecting him, was just as hollow, merely moving in a different direction, turning opposition itself into my purpose.

Hatred and sorrow can drive a life. There is nothing wrong with wanting to make fools of the people who looked down on you. Negative emotions can sometimes give a person great strength and the power to accomplish things. But if, beyond overcoming those feelings, one cannot see a future where either oneself or someone else is happy, then would one not simply burn out and make both oneself and others miserable?

Especially because the people who mock you are nothing but irresponsible, selfish, narrow-minded creatures who keep inventing new rules for the sole purpose of looking down on others. Even if you try to engage with them sincerely, won’t it only exhaust you?

What did I really want to do? I had never once stopped to think about my own life. Who was I, really? What did I want? What gave my life meaning? What kind of future would make me happy?

I remembered the landlady’s swollen belly. What if I were like that? What if Poet were my husband? What if I were living out a newlywed life with him?

I could picture myself greeting him at the entrance of our home with “Dear,” while the children ran up crying, “Daddy!” and I watched them fondly. Some hopeless man would wrap his arms around me from behind while I was cooking and whisper, “I love you.” It felt all soft and dreamy, like standing in a flower field. That—surely that was the shape of the happiness I longed for.

Waaahhh! W-what am I even thinking!? I am crazy! This is dangerous thinking! Dangerous person! For a former man to think such things is far too wicked! I need to calm down and get a grip!

Breathe. Hee, hee, hoo. That’s Lamaze breathing—no, wait! I’m getting way too carried away by pregnancy fantasies!

All right. Calm down. Anyway, I’d washed off the sweat, so I should get dressed. My underwear was still men’s underwear. I guess I’d have to buy women’s underthings.

When I returned to the room, a chill ran down my spine. Someone was there. Poet?

“I love you. Tell me... why wouldn’t you let me kiss you?”