Chapter 1: The Grand Arrival (And the Lack of Pants)

The sun shines far too brightly for a Tuesday, or whatever day it is in this strange fantasy dimension. A boy with messy black hair strikes a dramatic pose atop a grassy hill.

"Tremble, pathetic new world! The Dark Flame Master, Ishida, graces you with his presence!"

He shouts this declaration to an empty field, aiming his grandiosity at a distant herd of exceptionally fluffy sheep. Right behind him, a girl with long pink hair rubs her temples in exasperation.

"Ishida, please shut up. You look like a massive idiot".

This is Lisa. She is tiny, serious, and entirely exhausted by his nonsense, even though they arrive in this world merely moments ago.

"Lisa, my loyal minion! Can you not feel the dark aura of this land? It calls to my blood!"

"I feel a breeze, and I see you stare at the chest of that female sheep. You are disgusting".

Ishida coughs, adjusting his utterly unnecessary fingerless gloves.

"I am merely observing the local wildlife! A true harem king respects all curves! Even the wooly ones!"

Lisa delivers a swift kick to his shin.

"Ow! What is that for?!"

"Focus on the mission, you pervert. We need to investigate the populations, manipulate the authorities, and conquer this place".

"Ah, yes! The ultimate evil plan! We infiltrate the castle, steal their resources, and build my glorious oppai empire!"

A sudden rustling erupts from the nearby bushes. A terrifying green goblin leaps out, brandishing a rusty dagger.

"Grahhh! Die, human scum!"

The creature charges directly at Lisa, yet she does not even blink. Instead, she draws a clipboard and calmly begins to write.

"Local hostile spotted. Green skin. Bad breath. Threat level: zero".

Ishida smiles, his eyes glowing with an unnatural, manic excitement.

"Behold! My first victim! Dark Demon Destruction Punch!"

He punches the empty air in front of him, releasing a massive shockwave. The force of the invisible blow strikes the goblin, completely blasting away the monster's loincloth. The creature freezes. Looking down in sheer panic, the goblin frantically covers its exposed crotch.

"Eek! My dignity!"

Dropping the rusty dagger, the goblin turns and runs away, crying like an infant. Lisa stares at Ishida with dead, empty eyes.

"You literally just strip a goblin naked. Are you proud?"

"I assert dominance! Now the entire goblin kingdom fears my stripping power!"

Lisa exhales a deep sigh. She knows this world is completely doomed, mostly because her partner is an irredeemable degenerate.

"Let us just head to the nearest town. I need real food, and you need serious mental help".

Striking yet another pose, Ishida points toward a giant, gleaming castle in the distance.

"Forward, my flat-chested companion! To the town of big-boobied tavern girls and unlimited glory!"

Lisa kicks him hard in his other shin.

"I am not flat! I am aerodynamically efficient!"

They walk down the hill, bickering the entire way. The conquest of this random world officially begins, and it is already a complete and utter mess.