Chapter 3: The Crimson Mage and the Tiny Lizard

Seeking refuge from the enraged tavern owner, Ishida, Lisa, and Amiya sprint into the damp shadows of a dark cave. They lean against the rocky walls, panting heavily to catch their breath.

"That is a close call!" Ishida laughs, completely unfazed by the danger.

"You ruin everything in five minutes", Lisa points out with a sharp glare.

Amiya simply flexes her muscular arms.

"I want the tavern guy to catch us and step on me".

Suddenly, a thunderous explosion violently shakes the cavern walls. As the thick smoke begins to clear, a girl with flowing purple hair steps gracefully from the debris. She wears a sweeping black robe and a massive, oversized witch hat. Much to Ishida's immediate delight, she also possesses ridiculously huge oppai. Overcome with emotion, Ishida immediately drops to his knees.

"Thank you, gods of the new world!"

The mysterious girl strikes a highly dramatic pose, partially concealing one of her eyes behind her hand.

"Fools! You dare enter the domain of the Crimson Magic Empress, Meiyi?"

Ishida gasps in eager recognition.

"Another creature of the dark! I am the Dark Flame Master!"

Instantly, Meiyi blushes furiously, completely abandoning her imposing stance.

"Oh my god, a man! Please insult me and tell me I am worthless!"

Utterly defeated, Lisa slaps a hand against her own forehead.

"Not another one".

Meiyi scrambles over to Ishida, clinging desperately to his boots.

"I am a strong magician, but I am so weak for handsome, cruel men!"

"I am very cruel!" Ishida nods happily.

Amiya frowns territorially.

"Hey! He is my commander! Find your own man to abuse you!"

"I share!" Meiyi cries out in desperation.

Without warning, a tiny, harmless green lizard scuttles across the damp cave floor. Meiyi freezes in her tracks. The color drains completely from her face until she is as pale as a ghost.

"A dragon of the cursed abyss!" she screams in sheer terror.

"That is literally a normal lizard", Lisa points out with deadpan exhaustion.

Consumed by panic, Meiyi begins swinging her ornate magic staff with wild, reckless abandon.

"Ultimate Crimson Hellfire!"

A devastatingly massive wave of scorching fire erupts from the tip of her staff. The inferno completely misses the tiny reptile. Instead, the spell violently blasts a gargantuan hole straight through the solid stone ceiling of the cave. Brilliant sunlight pours into the gloomy cavern as the undisturbed little lizard casually scampers away to safety. Ishida stares up at the giant, smoking crater in absolute awe.

"She is crazy, but her firepower is incredible!"

Sighing deeply, Lisa writes furiously on her ever-present clipboard.

"Day one, hour two. We recruit a desperate mage who fears tiny reptiles. We are definitely going to die".

Still trembling violently, Meiyi hugs Ishida's leg even tighter.

"Please protect me from the scaly beast! Step on me if you must!"

Ishida grins from ear to ear, adopting the persona of a triumphant evil villain.

"Welcome to the team, Meiyi! Our evil army grows stronger!"

Beside them, Amiya cheers loudly in celebration of their newest recruit. Meanwhile, Lisa simply looks up through the freshly blasted hole in the ceiling, silently praying to the heavens for patience.