Chapter 13

Katsuo’s POV

What is going on? Why would he suggest something like that? Did anyone… I tried to not to panic and remind myself that under the influence of alcohol people tend to say a lot of things.

“Why do you think so?”

My voice was trembling after all, but Ryouta didn't notice this. He looked at me, his eyes were still beautiful, but I would prefer they shine with happiness not tears.

“I am so sorry that I misjudged you at the beginning. I thought that you approaching me was some bad joke, a punt or some sort of game. And when ignoring you didn't work out I decided to play along, hoping you will get bored soon. I wanted to focus on studying, not building relationships.”

Even though these words were painful. I also saw that sharing it with me gave him a bit of relief, but he couldn't hide the sadness. At first I wanted to push him away, because I was hurt, however I remembered that my feelings also weren't established from the very beginning. Also his hands were clenching so tightly at my jacket, his fear about rejection was real.

“But I started to get to know you and enjoy spending time with you,” he continued desperately. “Day by day I actually was falling for you, but it wasn't easy for me to realize and accept that. I just felt so bad about not being honest with you and too scared to admit it, because I was afraid you would end this and I don't want us to end.”

“Well, I guess my joke has some consequences I couldn’t predict, and I also needed some time to understand what I feel for you.” I couldn't take him looking at me with all that hope. “So maybe let's just move the date of our first day together to another one.” Ryouta nodded enthusiastically, he was so different from his usual self. “And now let's get you home and never let you drink again. I hope you won't give me another heart attack tonight.”

When I was taking him home, he fell asleep on my shoulder in a taxi. I couldn't say I was not worried about what I heard. Ryouta always seemed so honest, but this image was a bit shattered. It wasn't that I suddenly stopped trusting him, but it made me analyse everything that was going on between us. And I was feeling bad about having all those second thoughts. At least he came clean and it felt real for a while, so… I am not perfect myself…

I gave him a piggyback until we reached his home. When I asked him about the keys, he kept mumbling something, apologizing to me again, saying someone might be inside. I didn't focus as I tried to open the door and not to make him fall off my back. We were almost the same height, so it wasn't easy to carry him around.

It didn't seem like anyone was there, so I took him to his room and put in the bed. Normally I would take this chance to look around and take care of him, but I wanted to walk and think more. I made sure he was fine and got ready to leave.

“I will call you in the morning, so sleep tight,” I said, holding my hand on his cheek.

“You won't, I hurt you so much. Stay with me. You were next to me in my dream all the time, just let it be real this one time.” He surprised me, pulling me closer and hugging me tightly. “If you decide to break up with me after all, I will understand I deserve it.”

I couldn't go, just let myself enjoy the moment, the warmth and closeness. Even though he fell asleep right away with my every move he was making sure I was still there hugging tighter. I didn't turn off the lights. As soon as I thought about it it got dark. I was hoping it was just some kind of automatic one, but I heard some steps getting closer. Ryouta was holding me the way it was hard to look behind me, but I felt someone was there. I felt it's breath of my back. I started to sweat and my boyfriend didn't seem to be bothered by his home being haunted. Fingers?! I wanted to run but suddenly two kids' faces lighted with flashlights showed up over me with creepy smiles.

“Who are you?” My voice was trembling, they scared me so much.

“Your worst nightmare, if you hurt our brother,” the girl whispered with a sweet voice.

“We are just making sure you are good enough for him,” the boy added. “And you have no idea how much we see and hear.”

“You should know that we know more than you would expect.”

When they were leaving I heard them giggling and when the door closed I started to breathe calmly again. That's what you were talking about. But I was wondering why he has never mentioned that he has a sibling. Maybe it was a good reason for that or did we actually ever talk about family matters?

“Don't keep any more secrets, okay? I want us to trust each other,” I whispered in the dark, snuggling up my face into his chest, and I was pretty sure I heard agreement.

The next morning I actually felt relieved. I decided not to care about the beginning and do as I proposed, we would set another date for our first day, when we both were sincere about each other. I thought that Ryouta won't have anything to deal with a hangover, so I reluctantly sneaked out to get him something and a bribe for these two rascals. Fortunately they weren't around. I didn't have to meet them, but I was worried that if he woke up before I was back they would tell him bad things about me. So I needed a friendly neighbor and to make a call.