Bypass 10³⁴ Years

【POV: Tetsuya】

By 2041, rising sea levels had forced the government to completely restructure the Kyūshū coastline. Wakimisaki was transformed into a gargantuan levee, sprawling a good hundred meters before the land finally yields to the waves.

On the bright side, it's turned into a huge hangout spot with a clear shot of the sunset over the ocean. Every now and then on a Sunday evening, the four of us would schlep out here to air our heads out and chill.

I trailed behind the group, hands tucked into my jacket. The wind was catching Yuria's hair, blowing it everywhere as she walked in front of me.

Riku suddenly jerked to a halt and pointing at a dune. 「Damn... Look!」

Perched grandly on the damp sand was a castle. Not the kind where you just flip a plastic bucket over and call it a day. It had double-layered ramparts, octagonal watchtowers, and even a system of moats, though they were bone dry.

I raised an eyebrow. 「Is that... the thing you built last Sunday?」

「You bet it is! It's been two weeks! The tide didn't touch it, those elementary school brats didn't dare mess with it either. You know why, Tetsuya?」

「Because you set up an ultrasonic kid-repeller?」

「No! Because it's a masterpiece! When people face true perfection, their primitive urge is to gaze in awe, not to ruin it. Those kids must have seen the beauty of...」

While Riku was busy rapping his heart out about the structural integrity of sand, I noticed Mari taking half a step back—I could see it coming.

Leisurely, she reached up. Two fingers caught her hair tie.

Zip.

The tie came off. A waterfall of hair tumbled down in the wind. She rolled the tie into a ball, shifted her weight to her back foot, and wound up like a professional pitcher.

「GRENADE!」

Her shrill cry rang out as she whipped the "grenade" forward.

Riku, mid-rant, whipped his head around, eyes bulging, but he was a second too slow. 「WOAH, HANG ON—」

The knotted tie struck the very top of the main tower. There was only a dull drone, reminiscent of TV white noise. Reality warped into a tiny black void.

It swallowed the entire sandcastle whole. I'd bet not a single grain was left behind. Then, the black hole shrunk, spitting the hair tie back onto the now-perfectly flat sand before vanishing completely.

「My castle...」 Riku whimpered, sounding like he was on the verge of tears. 「It's vanished! Even its hitbox is gone!」

Mari skipped back to fetch her tie, blew off the sand and shot Riku a sanctimonious look.

「Riku, you mustn't cling to the physical realm.」 She folded her hands in a prayer pose, radiating a saintly aura. 「All that exists is destined for nothingness. I was just... helping it get there a bit sooner.」

Riku snapped his head up to curse. 「Sooner my ass! You dropped a freaking black hole at two hours of my life!」

Mari instantly started wagging her finger at us like she was the smartest person in the room.

「You guys have no perspective. Think bigger!」 She opened her arms to the wind. 「Under normal conditions, a grain of sand won't fully decompose until the proton decay era—around 10³⁴ years! Ain't nobody got time for that!」

Mari gestured toward the blank space where his fortress used to be.

「Your castle just got the VIP experience, Riku. No more weathering the wind or being crushed under the feet of brats. It just bypassed billions upon billions of years to reach the final tranquility of all things! You should grateful I gave it such a legendary end!」

Riku went to snap back, but Mari's half-baked fusion of theology and physics apparently fried his circuits. His lips twitched with nonsense words, and he eventually just keeled over into the sand.

He hadn't even crawled out of his state of shock when we heard the yelling of some first or second graders. Three little punks, clutching motorized plastic shovels and wearing sun hats, came storming our way.

「Wait, what? Where'd the castle go?」 The frontrunner gaped at the stretch of sand, now as smooth as a polished floor.

「No way!」 The second one looked heartbroken. 「We brought the whole siege kit for nothing! Why is it gone?」

The third one started thumping the sand in a fit of rage. 「It was right here yesterday! I promised my sister a front-row seat to the collapse of an empire, and now there's no empire!」

The gang stood there stumped for a moment before grumpily turning away to find some other more defenseless pile of sand to bully.

At this point, Mari's logic was basically airtight. As expected, she glanced down at Riku. 「Hear that? That's your masterpiece. What kind of ending did you want for it? Would you rather see it vanish in a grand space-time event? Or did you want to watch it get pulverized by a bunch of ¥500 shovels?」

「I... I... So you're saying... I should be grateful?」

「Happy to help!」 Mari smacked Riku on the shoulder.

「Man, you guys are exhausting.」 Yuria said, her expression reading "I'm officially over this". She was already in a simple one-piece suit under her outerwear.

「Black holes, sandpiles... who cares. Give it a rest, Riku, the beach is public property regardless.」 Yuria scoffed and took off toward the surf. 「I'm going in! Last one there's a total dog!」

「Hey! Hold up!」 Mari abandoned Riku to his existential crisis to keep up with Yuria.

I had to reach out and pull my friend to his feet. 「You just got gaslit by God Herself, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.」

Riku stood up half-dazed, swatting sand off his clothes. 「Let's just get in the water before Mari figures out how to walk on it just to flex.」

I hadn't even reached the water when I spotted Yuria standing mid-shallows clutching a giant branch. It was encrusted with algae, looking for all the world like a shepherd's staff out of a Renaissance masterwork.

She held the wood aloft with a majestic air, shouting loud enough to drown out the surf. 「O, my people! This day, I—the great prophet Kanda Yuria—will guide you across the East China Sea!」

Then she turned and aimed the staff at Mari, who was wading nearby. 「Yo, Yahweh! Part the sea for your savior!」

Mari, mid-reach for a shell, looked up with a scowl. 「Power trip much, Yuria? Who do you think you're bossing around?」

「Do it!」 Yuria waved the wood threateningly. 「Before I put a curse on your P.E. grades. Shorty should know her place!」

Mari gave a dramatic eye-roll and a weary sigh. 「Fine, okay. You're so demanding.」

Vroom—vroom—vroom.

Up in the air, a Galgal the size of a serving tray appeared spinning at high speed. It lunged toward the surface, hovering right in front of Yuria's toes.

「Part!」 Mari barked a blunt command.

The sea yielded. But far from the epic walls of a Netflix blockbuster, it merely carved out a narrow ditch—two meters wide, five meters long—revealing a patch of wet sand. A few small crabs started darting about in a frenzy.

Riku bent over laughing. 「Crap! Look, it's Moses: the Budget Version!」

Instead of being let down, Yuria laughed her head off as if she'd actually bested the Almighty. 「Bwahaha! Sufficient! I have bent the Creator to my will! And in return... I bestow upon you a prophecy!」

She pointed her "staff" at Mari again with grave solemnity. 「Hearken, Amano Mari! For thou hast gorged upon melon bread today, and the price thou shalt pay... is a clogged toilet tonight!」

Who even comes up with a prophecy like that?

Without warning, a flock of miniature Seraphim poured out of Mari's hair tie like bees from a broken hive.

「Qadosh! Qadosh!」

「Blasphemy!」

「Peck her!」

They dove straight for Yuria's head. They swarmed her hair, pecking at forehead, ears, cheeks.

「Ow, ow, ow!」 Yuria dropped the wood and sprinted around. 「Hot hot! Mari! Call them off!」

「Serves you right!」

Just another peaceful Sunday for the four of us.