The Ritual

I feel sick, why would I do that?

Meow

No, that's not right. I know why! I couldn't take it anymore! but... 

What did I do again?

A gnawing sensation eats at me indicating I had forgotten something important

Meow...Meow!

The stifling silence, these too familiar walls containing me, the emptiness which threatens to swallow everything inside and out.

Meow...Meow...Meow!

I hate it all! I had to do something! Anything! 

Yeeeeooowwwrrrr!

*SLAM* *CRASH*

The arm I had been using to lean on one of my apartments walls had broke free from it's load bearing position and flew straight, fist first into the wall and in turn stained the wall in the fresh blood which escaped me in response to it's subsequent retraction.

"I GET IT ALREADY KURO! you're hungry! I get it alright?" 

Was that it? did I forget to feed Kuro?

No, that's not it.

I didn't mean to be mad, Kuro my loyal black cat companion had always been with me through thick and thin. I had always struggled to make friends wherever I went or whatever I did. Whether it was school, college or even online, the finer details of socializing were simply lost to me.

Even after everything Kuro had stayed by my side. It wasn't fair to get mad at him.

"Just what the hell am I doing?"

Thinking back, retracing my steps to the point that my still clenched fist drain blood onto the floor after my little outburst.

Staring at the bloody wall, my mind wanders elsewhere. To as far back as my memory could serve me.

My name is Norifusa Uchida. My 'friends' would always 'lovingly' call me Nori-kun because of my unnatural green hair. 

By 'friends' I of course mean my bullies as a child. Enemies you could always rely on to bully you was as close as I got to 'friends' back then.

For those 'friends' I ended up doing things I'm not proud of but I don't regret it.

What next? I vaguely recalled high school, one of the few times I managed to make real friends, 2 in fact. Kouki and Reona, with me as the third we made up our very own 3 Musketeers. We bonded over our mutual love of the occult and horror stories.

Wait wasn't there 4 Musketeers? I'm sure there was someone else too, someone I'm forgetting

Though It's been a while though maybe I'm misremembering.

They looked like...

I mean their faces had...!

Huh?

Why can't I remember? what expressions did they usually have? 

What color hair did they have?

They were my closest friends, shouldn't I remember something so basic?

Well whatever it doesn't matter now, regardless. 

It must have been further back than I remember.

That has to be it.

Kouki and Reona became a couple and with that naturally my last friends parted ways as we drifted away from one another in this sea we call life.

College was nothing to write home about.

After that failure accompanied me closer than any other.

Failure to find love

Failure to find work

Failure to grow

Failure as a human being

Failure marked me, branding me to as a man of a doomed legacy.

A needless weed that had yet to be plucked from the garden that could only move to and fro at the whims of fate.

If I could just find someone, find the 'One' for me, It would work out somehow.

The feeling to be needed, to be wanted.

That feeling that had always been absent in my life.

How I desired it the most. 

Instead I had only indifferent loneliness to smother the passions of my heart.

Thinking myself as different from everyone else, I thought I shed such desires. Settling into a cold acceptance of solemn despair.

To wake, to starve, to yearn, to rage, to cool, to eat, to sleep. This unbreaking cycle that had comprised most of my days.   

 Yet, In fits of lucid madness I would wake from my stupor and begin to yearn once more.

Emotions would rush to fill the void once more and restore my receded humanity, I would become irate, irrational and worst of all, desperate.

This solution I had found on a foreign occult imageboard was no different.

A Ritual that could deliver what I desired to me, in one form or the other.

In my hysteria, I must have figured dealing with the otherside is better than letting helplessness eat me up inside.

Meow!

That's right, I've also had Kuro. Despite all my faults, Kuro had always been by my side.

Meow.....Meow!

I was needed by Kuro at least, that was something at least.

Meow!

Ah, that's right he's hungry isn't he? He didn't know it but Kuro was my anchor, despite my outbursts he always kept me grounded.

My tether to normalcy.

Meow! Meow!

Honestly, I wouldn't know what to do if something happened to him.

Meow! Meow! Meow!

A Ritual to summon an succubus? what nonsense! fun to read about but has no bearing on reality!

It's good that I shook the madness off before I did something drastic.

Looking around I realized I was near the entrance to my apartment, with door leading outside to my right as I faced the bloody wall I had made an object of indirect fascination.

At this point I don't know how much blood I've lost, If the blood lose would cause my demise, then it would not be an outcome I would not welcome.

Though I suppose I'm no good to Kuro dead, I moved to the half hanging on a nearby wall behind to get a better look at myself.

There I was, Disheveled seaweed green hair covering my head to my face and concealing one eye, behind the other visible eye are eyebags as befits my station in life but more peculiarly red.

Now that I looked carefully splotches of red were dotted all over me, on my anime t-shirt, my sweatpants and both hands.

I don't understand, what happened? was I out of it for so long that I bled a little more than expected?

Then I saw it, it was there too. 

At the soles of my feet.

Turning around quickly I found a trail of bloody footprints that snaked from around the corner.

 Gradually retracing the steps my heart began to palpitate.

Is Kuro alright? I've been hearing him this whole time after all so he must be...right?

It had not been enough to convince my heart which had only sped up in anticipation of what would be revealed around said corner.

I could feel it, in the pores of my skin, my being, my very essence.

This was an Omen.

Turning the corner did nothing to assuage my fears.

Simply more bloody footprints coming out from my ajar bedroom door.

My heart began to quicken even more.

Meow!

Ah that's him! it's Kuro! I recognize his meowing anywhere! 

He's alright for sure! there's no mistake that's him!

He must have knocked over some soda cans I leave lying on the floor!

Meow! 

I calmed a little, regaining a semblance of reason. The unease remained but surely anyone would be at unease in a darkened home. All I would have to do is enter my room and flip the lights on and be greeted by his cute face.

He's there I'm sure of it, happily sleeping away by my bedside as always.

Meow!

Definitely!

I entered my room from where the footprints originated from and turned the lights on.

Kuro warm cute face would not greet me.

In the room by my bedside were marks made in blood fashioned in a circle with a bloody knife nearby.

At the center of the circle was a black cat covered in blood.

Kuro wouldn't greet me ever again.

I don't understand, I don't know what to feel.

I don't know what I should be feeling.

Right now all I wanted to feel was his warmth again.

This has to be a joke right? this can't be happening!

Slowly forcing motion in my body to get closer to him as it felt like I was watching myself in a movie

I lifted Kuro up and drew him close to my chest as I gently wrapped my arms around him.

You can't be gone right Kuro? you're just sleeping!

I'll be able to feel your warmth and that's how I'll know!

Kuro was as cold as the grave.

I don't understand! what happened!? why can't I remember!?

I must have done the ritual but why! why would I do that!?

Meow!

There he is! see! he's alright!

Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow! Meow!

No that wasn't Kuro, the mimicry of his voice grew deeper, more sinister as if to mock the memory of him. It rang out from an distorted shadow in the corner of my room I had overlooked in my despair.

It moved up and around the room, drinking in all the light in the room all the while growing in both size and sound to which almost reached deafening levels. I was forced to gently put Kuro down and cover my ears with both hands to try and block out the sound.

Each time his voice was stolen was like a dagger piercing my heart, if my guilt were to fill a glass it would already be brimming over at this point.

How could I do it?It wasn't me I swear!This is my fault isn't it?I'm scum!

I feel like I'm losing grip on my mind.

MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!MEOW!

The sound was everywhere, echoing throughout the house, until almost all at once.

Silence

Soon a new sound took it's place.

*Knock* 

*Knock* 

*Knock*