Goodbye and [ ] Riddance

A noise just outside the cave has my eyes burst open. I grasp the baton at my side, ready to face off again with the bear. But the noises are softer than that, a simple tap tap tap on rock and dirt. Footsteps, I think. Human ones.

My vision is still a little blurry. I rub my eyes, then crawl to my knees in a crouch, ready to spring up the moment my intruder appears. Every part of my body feels out of place, like nothing is attached right. The fight with the guard and the long run here has left me more worn than ever, despite the rest I finally got. Even the hard rock that very rest took place on only added just a bit to my list of agonies. I'm so used to pain it doesn't bother me anymore. I guess I really have lost it.

"Solen."

Ice runs through my veins. My fingers twitch around the baton.

Auizia… why…

"Solen."

No, it's… It's Elyna.

A woman's face appears, and I strain my eyes to see which one it is. Her shadow covers me, blocking the daylight.

It's… both of them. There are two women standing there looking down at me. They're just outside the crack in the rocks where I'd fallen asleep. Elyna is wearing her normal soft smile, while Auizia's face reveals no expression.

I shiver. The delivery man's armor might be warm, but it's still far too cold outside. If they hadn't woken me up, I might have frozen to death, but I don't feel an ounce of gratitude.

"How'd you find me?"… is a stupid question I won't ask. There's no shortage of ways. I'm sure everyone saw me dashing through the streets and saw which way I ran out of town. These people, whoever they are, talk to each other. Just like Elyna at home. Maybe it was Auizia she was talking to. I have no idea.

Anyway, all that was left was for Auizia to put the pieces together and bring Elyna here with her. If anything, I'm surprised it was them who woke me up, and not some armed delivery men who'd shoot me on sight.

I've only seen a gun a few times in my life. Normal citizens can't own them, and even delivery men only carry them if something is truly wrong. A few years ago, an escaped convict was shot in the street. I didn't see it myself, but I saw the rows of delivery men marching past. Just seeing the barrel from a distance had me keenly aware of how just one small hole could spell the end of my life.

Elyna kneels down and goes to touch my shoulder, the same one that was injured not long ago. I flinch and pull back, taking the baton from my side and brandishing it in front of me. "Aw, don't be like that," she says.

"Stay away!" I cry, flipping the switch. A buzz of power echoes as it comes to life.

"That's not very nice." For a moment, her smile gets tighter. Her eyes crinkle downward. For that split second I wonder if I've made a mistake. "Solen, come back with us. We can talk it out."

My stomach wants to take her word for it. It's far past rumbling now and sends pangs of urgency, desperate for me to eat anything I can find. I should have killed that deer.

"Solen," Auizia calls my name as well. Her voice is terse and firm. Memories flash by of her scolding me as I picked useless herbs. That same tone was so admirable to me back then. I admired her, looked up to her!

"Were you the one who sent the bear after me, too?" I grit my teeth as I ask.

She just closes her eyes and sighs. "Of course not, you're being ridiculous. How would I have done that?"

I climb from my knees to my feet. There's barely any room in here for me to stand. The two of them are just outside, blocking the exit. If they weren't here… I could run. If they weren't in the way.

Elyna. Warm dinners of canned pork and carrots, shared between dishes passed back and forth. The squeaks of cabinets as we cooked together. She'd take an old book and give a dramatic reading of an old tale, spinning around in melodrama that made me wish I was anywhere else. I still remember every single one of those tales.

My hands that wrapped around her dirty soot-stained ones as I taught her to make the aluminum animals. The dogs were always her favorite. She'd beam as she put the ones she made herself up on the cabinet next to mine. Everything is so clear in my mind.

Yet I don't remember her sleeping face. I don't know what she wears to bed. Good mornings are exchanged, but never whispered quietly under the comfort of blankets. Good nights just the same way. She's always been there, watching me. Watching like the man in that dark cell.

Auizia. Thorns plucked from stems and placed into a pile between us. I remember the sting as she smacked my hand away from poison flowers. Hiking in silence, seeing the same sky. Her rare laugh coming in thick, jagged chuckles, only after I said something particularly stupid. It's the presence of a person that stings in a good way, a carbonated drink running down your throat.

Her three children, Glissel, Ran, and Jhast. I know their ages, and how one dropped out of school. I know Auizia is harsher on them than she is on me. On blue moons where she talks about herself, I've learned her cares and regrets. The death of her husband left her no choice but to become like stone.

But I don't remember when we met. I've never seen her with her family, or run into her around town. One day I was helpless, and the next I was her apprentice. Since then I've never been outside of town without her.

I look at them both. Neither of them are carrying weapons. There might be more armed guards outside, but I'll never know unless I get past them.

I just need to get past them.

My body is so weak. I long to give up and stop. These two, the only two who… who did matter to me are giving me an out. If I just sit back down, this will all be over. The rest I got wasn't enough. My eyes feel like they're about to close again.

And then they step forward.

The movement is so quick it happens between my heartbeats. Thump. I reach down my hand. Thump. Auizia raises her arm. Thump. The clasp is undone. Thump. She steps forward.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt!

"Auughhh!" She gasps in pain, sinking to her knees.

Hahaha… This is what you get… this is what you get for pushing me down that cliff!

This is what you get. She convulses. This is what you get. My fingers are going numb. This is what you get. She stops moving. This is… My hand trembles. This is…!

My vision goes dark, like my eyes refuse to look at this any longer, so I turn to Elyna.

"Ah… ahh….!" I gasp heavy breaths, feeling like I'm about to be sick. I wave the baton at her. My shoulders heave and flare up, making myself look bigger like an animal. She can't escape.

For a moment, I pause.

Then her smile drops.

And that's it.

Tears stream down my cheeks as the electricity sparks and courses through her body. It's only for a moment, I tell myself. But I'm unable to stop. I sob as my baton pushes harder against her, and use my free hand to cover my eyes. "Who are you…!" I beg her to tell me. "Are you really Elyna?"

She doesn't respond.

"Answer me!" I scream, I reach out to shake her but find myself getting zapped.

A moment later, she falls to the ground.

My mouth opens like I'm going to yell but find I can no longer make any sounds. I try to speak, and nothing comes out.

Yet another place I can no longer stay. The rocks will surely fall and crush me at any moment.

The pain in my legs has gone numb, and that's all I need. I run out of the cave, looking around and seeing no one nearby.

That's right. I've been here alone.

If I turn around, there will be no one on the ground. I've been here alone the whole time. I know that, so there's no reason for me to turn around.

The night sky is full of stars. Thousands and thousands of them. They all look down at me. I sigh at them, still unable to make any noise.

It feels like I'm walking on nothing. My legs work, but I can't feel them anymore. I don't look down, for fear there will be nothing there.

A little before dawn, I'll make it there at last.

To the delivery men's fortress.