Chapter 9

I wandered around the edge for a while, having to navigate the treacherous path through the houses cut in half. I really had no reason to. Maybe I just wanted to enjoy my newfound clarity of mind.

It was now abundantly clear to me that I had been personally targetted.

Someone had done all this to me. Perhaps veiled as a favor or a boon, but surely they had nefarious reasons to do this.

My memories had been messed with. Ai had never existed in my past. Kinuhata was real, and so was Yayu. Their real name was right at the tip of my tongue—and once again, the world answered my request.

It was just right there. At my feet. I’m sure there was nothing here before. It had materialized out of nothing.

It was a black, handwritten notebook.

“Even now, the world is just giving me what I need, huh?”

I wasn’t even surprised by it anymore. I just bent down and grabbed it.

The first words on the first page were, “My name is Satoru Yamashita.”

Just a few days ago, that name meant nothing to me.

But now, the memories that had been suppressed came to the forefront of my mind.

I knew who this guy was.

Yamashita. His surname started with “Ya”.

Satoru Yamashita was Yayu.

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I couldn’t recall much about Satoru Yamashita. In fact, it’s a small miracle I even remember him in the first place.

Much like I used to be, Yamashita was the other class loner. You’d think loners would flock together, but our tastes were quite different. I was into animanga, while Satoru was a geek who loved complex 4X strategy games. The few times we had spoken to each other, we quickly realized we had nothing in common, and so kept our distance away from each other. Much like I was, he was bullied by Kinuhata, but that wasn’t enough to make us bond or anything. And then, one day… he just disappeared, being then replaced by Ai’s appearance.

That’s as much I could remember about him. But the notebook told a different story. A story that was eerily familiar to me.

He only wrote it after things were already in motion, and he had decided, much like I had, to run away. His life was about as miserable as my own—no friends, health issues, family issues, girlfriends were a thing of dreams—and then, all of a sudden, everything changed. His health issues went away, his family became nicer to him, and he met a girl online who was into the exact same games he was. They then met in real life and started dating.

She was the perfect girlfriend. Different from Ai, of course, since she was based on his preferences.

But then, he began noticing… inconsistencies. In his world, Kinuhata also randomly vanished. Nothing bad happened to Yamashita, no matter how much of a faux pas he committed. The world had become too perfect. The sort of perfection that felt like a trap.

The kicker, however, was the way his body changed. Morphed into that of someone he didn’t know. When he realized it, he looked absolutely nothing like he used too.

Thankfully, he had the foresight to take a photo of himself and print it out.

When I turned the page to see that photo, everything clicked into place.

He looked exactly like me.

The same blonde hair, the same tall, lean build. A handsome face like that of a model.

There were other photos, too. Of him on dates with his girlfriend—a tall girl with long black hair and a beautiful, stern face.

That’s about when the notebook started to devolve into pure madness.

There were pages upon pages repeating the same word or sentence.

“Escape.”

“Must reach the edge.”

“Not real.”

There were pages upon pages of this, over and over again, in a hand so chaotic it was barely readable at points.

I skimmed through them, finally reaching the last page.

The handwriting here was different—steadier, saner. Probably written right here, at the edge of this world, where the “influence” was weaker.

It only had one sentence.

“I decided to jump while I’m still me.”

What was the point of this notebook? The answer was obvious—a warning.

He knew there would be successors to his plight.

Why? Because his run failed. He managed to escape by jumping into the void. Escape from… being consumed by the perfect world.

So who was to blame? What the reason for all this?

Once again, the world answered my request.

I began hearing footsteps behind me. In this empty world, they sounded like the beat of a drum.

“Finally caught up to you.”

I knew who the voice came from. I mean, in retrospect, it was abundantly obvious who the culprit was.

The one person who had dropped into my life and whose existence was retrofitted into my memories and old photographs.

“So it was you… Ai.”

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I didn’t turn around to face “Ai”. Instead, I remained sitting cross-legged, staring at the abyss, holding my favorite novel in one hand—the title perfectly legible—and Yamashita’s notebook in the other. Feeling nothing was way better than feeling afraid.

“You should not be here.”

Her voice had absolutely no hint of her usual inflection. It was flat, emotionless, holding neither happiness nor malice. Honestly it was more disturbing than if she had turned out to be some purely evil being.

“Whatever was going on before was way worse,” I responded. “So? What the hell are you? An evil god? A demon? An alien?”

“I’m not evil,” she simply responded.

“Surely someone capable of inflicting so much torment to people can’t be good.”

“Torment? I do not understand,” she said without emotion. “I gave you the perfect life. Your migraines are gone. Your father now has a job. Your bullies disappeared. You have a friend to share your interests with. You have a perfect loving girlfriend.”

“So you made yourself look like the heroine of my favorite novel?”

“She’s the girl of your dreams, is she not? A childhood friend turned lover. What more do you want?”

“Changing my body and getting rid of Kinuhata and the others certainly weren’t anything I wanted.”

She didn’t respond for a good while. “I do not understand. Aren’t those good things?”

“Then, what about Yamashita?” I said, putting to the notebook next to me so she could see it.

She never responded.

So then I’m the next victim, huh?

“Why do all this? Why me?”

“Because I love you,” she immediately said.

“Bullshit.”

Whatever this thing felt, if it even felt anything, it wasn’t love. It was some twisted facsimile of love.

Suddenly, I felt “Ai” hugging me from behind. I felt her soft body pressed against my back and her arms wrapping around my neck.

But I felt nothing.

“Hey, let’s go back,” she said, her tone returned to the sickly sweetness I had become used to. “As long as you stay close to me, I can adjust the entire world to your liking. Oh, I know!” She suddenly said. “Just one loving girlfriend isn’t enough for a young man like you, right?! That’s where I went wrong! I can bring more girls to your life. A stepsister, maybe? Or a lovely mature woman? Whatever you wish for, I can bring it to existence. Okay? So let’s go—”

I grabbed Ai’s arms and shoved her away from me.

Finally, I stood up and looked back at her.

There she was, dressed in our school’s uniform, lying on the ground like a discarded rag—but her smile was just as comforting as always.

The picture of perfection.

“Hey. Let’s go back,” she said as she got up, her smile never faltering. She extended her hand, beckoning me to return to that sham doll house of a world. “Okay?”

I grabbed her hand tightly. Her smile grew wider.

She began pulling me, away from this edge, but I didn’t take a step away

“You can polish the world as much as you want,” I said. “Give me as many treats as you like. Sure, every guy out there would be over the moon with dating the girl of their dreams. But you know what? You can polish this world as much as you want, but deep down, it’s still just shit. Nothing means anything. And whatever you did with all those other guys, I ain’t following.”

“Ai’s” face morphed instantly. Her smile vanished like the smokescreen it was. What was left was a lifeless, inhumane doll, so uncanny I was shocked I ever found her to be perfect.

“Why? Why do you reject me?” She said flatly. “All I ever wanted was to make you happy.”

“Love isn’t born out of perfection. But I guess you wouldn’t get that.”

“I see. So I failed again.”

“Ai” let go of my hand and moved her other hand, aiming squarely at my chest.

She was going push me into the abyss.

Perfect.

“Thanks! Just the push I needed!!”

I grabbed “Ai’s” outstretched hand, and gripped it tight with as much strength as I could.

“If I’m going down, you’re coming with me, you fucking demon!”

We fell together.

Down and down, deep into the abyss, me not letting “Ai” go for dear life.

For the first time, with the little light still remaining down here, I saw a genuine smile on her face.

The smile of a demon. The same impossibly wide smile I saw Amano make before.

And then, we faded into nothingness.