Chapter 13: The Golden Reconnaissance

"Hit me harder with the heavy barrel", Amiya begs the completely terrified, visibly trembling bartender.

Beside her, Meiyi wildly swings her glowing magical staff around the crowded room and accidentally spills cheap red wine all over her elaborate, dark mage dress.

"I am eternally cursed by the dark abyss of alcohol", Meiyi chants happily while rolling aimlessly on the sticky wooden floor.

I sigh deeply, aggressively massaging my throbbing temples in a desperate attempt to gracefully stop the massive, looming headache. Diana completely ignores the drunk idiots and quietly walks out the heavy front door. She is actively looking for a cute and entirely harmless animal to play with at the quiet street outside.

"Let them be entirely useless", I say, turning my sharp, calculating gaze to Ishida. "We need to start to do our secret research about this massive kingdom", I softly remind him of our true, overarching evil objective.

Ishida nods seriously, surprisingly abandoning his half-empty drink, and dutifully follows me out into the busy, vibrant night streets.

We walk down the beautiful paved roads lined with glowing, intricately carved magical streetlamps. Suddenly, Ishida completely stops walking and stares intensely at a nearby, highly colorful fruit stall. He heavily encounters a very hot, voluptuous woman innocently buying some fresh green apples.

"Hello, beautiful angel", Ishida smirks, shamelessly flexing his entirely average arms at her. "Do you need a strong, legendary hero to carry those for you?"

I tightly cross my arms, feeling incredibly annoyed by his constant, unrelenting perverted actions.

"You are supposed to be strictly researching the local economy, you absolute idiot", I yell, viciously kicking his unprotected shin.

While I am actively busy kicking Ishida, a random, incredibly handsome guy confidently walks right up to me. He has beautifully sparkling silver hair and a very warm, utterly charming smile that catches the moonlight perfectly.

"Excuse me, little miss", the handsome guy gently tries to flirt with me softly. "Are you lost in this big, bustling city?"

My eyes widen in pure, unadulterated shock, and I immediately feel a sudden, intense heartbeat hammering violently in my chest. I am the terrifying evil mastermind, but I am still a delicate maiden at heart!

"I am not lost", I stutter nervously, my face instantly turning completely, furiously red exactly like a classic tsundere. "I am perfectly fine on my absolute own, thank you very much!"

Hearing the commotion, Ishida immediately stops flirting with the hot woman and quickly walks over to me. He points a highly mocking finger right at my deeply blushing face and suddenly starts laughing loudly in the middle of the street.

"Oh my god, the ruthless evil mastermind is actually blushing", Ishida teases me endlessly without any shred of mercy.

"Shut up", I scream, violently punching Ishida right in the soft stomach to desperately hide my massive, overwhelming embarrassment.

The handsome guy gets terribly confused by the sudden brutality and quickly walks away from our violent, chaotic group. I take a long, deep breath to forcefully calm my racing heart, and we finally go back to our main, highly important research.

We walk at the quiet street for several exhaustive hours under the bright, silvery moonlight. We proactively get to know with absolutely everyone from the loud, muscular blacksmiths to the quiet, flour-covered bakers. I carefully study the intricate street layout and secretly draw a detailed map in my small, hidden notebook. We closely study the diverse businesses operating at the surrounding, sprawling market square.

Unfortunately, there is absolutely nothing much of value to openly learn here.

"This place is just a very standard, painfully boring fantasy economy", I bitterly complain, forcefully closing my leather-bound notebook. "No giant weaknesses to effortlessly exploit, and the royal guards are entirely too heavily armed", I mutter quietly in pure, bitter disappointment.

"Well, at least the women living here are absolute top tier", Ishida laughs his usual, utterly perverted laugh.

We finally give up entirely on our incredibly boring scouting mission and defeatedly walk back to the grand inn. As we step heavily through the thick wooden doors, we freeze completely in absolute, stunning surprise. We are unexpectedly meeting with Princess Claire by pure, total coincidence right in the middle of the brightly lit lobby. She is elegantly wearing a beautiful, flowing casual dress instead of her usual, heavy steel armor.

"Oh, it is the brave heroes", Claire smiles brightly, gracefully walking over to greet us.

Ishida immediately straightens his slouching posture and eagerly starts having flirty fun with Claire.

"Princess, you look absolutely stunning without your shiny metal suit", Ishida flirts boldly and completely shamelessly.

Claire giggles softly, a highly musical sound, and playfully touches Ishida lightly on the arm. I visibly roll my eyes and stubbornly cross my arms tightly over my entirely flat chest. Claire easily notices my highly annoyed expression and quickly walks over to playfully tease me.

"Do not look so terribly grumpy, little Lisa", Claire affectionately teases me with a soft, gentle pat directly on my head. "You need to drink lots more milk so you can grow up big and strong".

My volatile tsundere anger flares up again instantly, burning hotly in my chest.

"I am perfectly fine with my current, perfectly normal height", I loudly yell, aggressively swatting her gentle hand away from my hair.

Claire just laughs happily, thoroughly entertained by my cute, harmless anger.

"You are all very amusing", Claire smiles warmly, gracefully turning back to the grand door. "Anyway, I came here to officially tell you something incredibly important", Claire says, her tone shifting to absolute seriousness.

She looks deeply at Ishida and then piercingly at me.

"Please come to the royal castle and personally meet me tomorrow morning", Claire asks politely. "We have a very special, highly urgent request exclusively for the great heroes of this kingdom", she adds mysteriously with a playful, knowing wink.

With that, Claire gracefully walks out of the noisy, bustling inn, leaving us standing completely dumbfounded in the lobby.

"A special request from a breathtakingly beautiful princess", Ishida drools happily, completely lost in his own delusions. "My legendary heroic harem is finally expanding rapidly".

I ruthlessly smack him heavily right on the back of his thick head.

"It is probably just another incredibly dangerous, life-threatening job", I deeply sigh, my shoulders slumping in sheer exhaustion.

Conquering this ridiculous world is actively taking way too much utterly useless effort.