Chapter 17: New Plan - Conquer the Heart

"Listen closely to me, you absolute idiots", I whisper intensely, making sure my voice does not carry over the cheerful orchestra music. "I have a brand new, highly calculated, and ultimate evil plan".

Ishida abruptly stops eating his highly decorated, obviously stolen slice of strawberry cake and looks directly at me with wide, dangerously eager eyes.

"Are we finally robbing the massive royal treasury", Ishida asks excitedly, sugary crumbs falling from his mouth.

"Even better than that", I smirk confidently, elegantly adjusting a stray lock of my vibrant pink hair. "We are going to ruthlessly conquer this wealthy kingdom from the absolute inside".

I subtly and secretly point a single finger at the dazzling blonde prince who is currently chatting amiably with his sister, Princess Claire.

"I am going to completely conquer the naive prince's heart, officially marry him, and become the supreme, unquestioned Queen of this entire golden nation", I declare proudly, my chest puffed out with sheer, villainous ambition.

For a fleeting moment, my completely useless, highly dysfunctional team simply stares at me in pure, unadulterated silence. Then, suddenly and without any prior coordination, they all aggressively give me a massive, highly enthusiastic thumbs up and agree completely with my twisted romantic scheme.

"That is incredibly, wonderfully devious", Ishida laughs evilly, his edgy persona returning in full force. "You take the shiny throne, and I finally get absolute, legally binding immunity for my rapidly growing heroic harem".

"Yes", Amiya cheers loudly, completely ignoring the need for stealth. "When you are the supreme Queen, please use the heavily armored royal guards to brutally torture me daily!"

"I will gladly be the officially appointed royal dark mage of the endless abyss", Meiyi chants happily, spinning her imaginary staff in the air.

It is honestly incredibly funny and deeply pathetic how quickly these absolute degenerates blindly support my highly questionable, romantic political scam without a single moral objection.

Suddenly, the heavy glass balcony doors slide open wider, and the incredibly handsome Prince purposely approaches our supposedly quiet, hidden corner.

"Hello again, brave heroes of the realm", the Prince politely greets us with a genuinely warm, absolutely dazzling smile that practically sparkles in the flickering candlelight.

He looks directly at me, and his stunningly sparkling silver eyes completely meet mine. Instantly, my treacherous heart rapidly starts pounding exactly like a massive, booming war drum deep inside my chest. I completely freeze like a deer caught in magical headlights, and my trembling palms immediately begin to sweat profusely. I feel incredibly, undeniably nervous, completely losing my villainous composure.

This is actually the very first time in my entire, pathetic life that a genuinely handsome guy purposefully looks at me exactly like this. Ever since my lonely days in my previous world, I purposefully stay completely single and heavily spend absolutely all my free time aggressively playing hardcore tactical video games in my dark bedroom. I have absolute zero, mathematically nonexistent romantic experience!

The highly observant Ishida quickly notices my burning, bright red face and immediately leans dangerously close to my ear.

"Oh my god, the terrifying evil mastermind is actually violently panicking", Ishida teases me completely mercilessly, a wicked grin on his face. "Just look at you sweating exactly like a highly guilty, cornered goblin".

"Shut up, you completely perverted idiot", I fiercely hiss quietly through clenched teeth, viciously stepping on his polished shoe with all my physical might.

Oblivious to our violent whispering, the charming Prince chuckles softly and gracefully steps slightly closer to me, completely invading my personal space.

"You look incredibly, truly beautiful in that elegant pink dress, Lady Lisa", the Prince gently tries to flirt with me, his voice smooth like rich velvet. "It perfectly matches the vibrant shade of your lovely hair".

In a matter of milliseconds, my blushing face completely turns exactly as red as a highly ripe, freshly picked tomato.

"I-I absolutely do not care about your entirely stupid, meaningless compliments", I stutter terribly badly, rapidly looking away to the floor and defensively crossing my arms over my chest. "It is absolutely not like I specially dressed up just for you or anything like that!"

I am completely, involuntarily acting exactly like a massive, highly predictable textbook tsundere, and I absolutely cannot even bring myself to stop this highly embarrassing display.

Diana confusedly tilts her head to the side and stares incredibly closely at my visibly burning, red cheeks.

"Why exactly is your face rapidly melting, Lisa", Diana asks highly curiously, her innocent voice cutting through the tension. "Do you currently have a severe magical fever from eating way too much sugary cake?"

Before I can furiously yell at the entirely clueless Diana, Amiya aggressively and physically pushes her way straight to the very front of our group.

"Excuse me, incredibly handsome Prince", Amiya breathes heavily, her deeply unhinged masochist energy dangerously flaring up to maximum capacity. "Please completely forget about this boring romance and violently step directly on my face with your heavy royal boots!"

Amiya begs loudly, entirely ruining the elegant, romantic mood. The stunned Prince slowly blinks his silver eyes in pure, unfiltered confusion. He is obviously very innocent and entirely, hopelessly sheltered deep inside his overly protective golden castle.

"I-I am incredibly sorry, my esteemed lady", the Prince stammers highly nervously, taking a cautious step back from the unhinged knight. "I truly do not think physically stepping on honored guests is considered proper, acceptable royal etiquette in our kingdom".

Ishida violently slaps his own hand firmly against his forehead and incredibly loudly facepalms in pure exasperation.

"Amiya, you are completely ruining the highly intricate evil romantic plot", Ishida groans miserably, his dreams of royal immunity momentarily shattered.

The highly overwhelmed Prince very nervously and politely excuses himself from the chaotic conversation and quickly walks back to the absolute, guaranteed safety of the crowded buffet table. I slowly take a very deep, shaky breath of the cool night air to forcefully calm my rapidly racing, hammering heart. My highly embarrassing, totally uncharacteristic tsundere panic attack is finally, thankfully over.

"Alright, seriously listen to me", I say firmly, loudly slapping both of my red cheeks with both hands to forcefully wake myself up from the romantic delusion. "If we genuinely want to successfully steal this entire massive kingdom, we absolutely need a completely flawless, highly calculated strategy".

I quickly pull out my trusty small notebook and a sharp pen from my hidden dimensional storage.

"We desperately need a brand new, highly effective tactical plan on exactly how to actually conquer the charming prince's heart without me tragically dying on the spot of pure, terminal embarrassment".

We closely gather together in a tight, highly secretive circle, completely and utterly ignoring the loud, elegant aristocratic party happening all around us. The ultimate, highly grand romantic conquest of the golden kingdom officially begins right now.