For You, Anything

Lunch time with my girlfriend. The merry voice of Lacey did much to calm my nerves. The way she moved with excitement as she talked was mesmerizing, whisking away any strange thoughts that threatened to surface.

It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is normal.

I basked in the comfort of this situation, nodding along, even though I had no idea what she was talking about. The words slipped right through my ears as I had my brain shut off, tuning my senses to this fluffy warmth of a scene.

Lacey was everything I could ask for – dynamic, pretty, and kind. I seemed fortunate to be going out with her, as there was hardly anything that I took pride in. Maybe, my attention to detail counted. I would often notice the little things, worry over the details, and butt my way into them.

The first time I talked to Lacey was when she tore her skirt. She hadn’t even noticed until I pointed out the tear that showed off extra thigh. Likely, it had gotten caught on something and ripped while she walked away.

Embarrassed by this revelation, she started to panic. It was quite cute, so I couldn’t help but lend her a hand.

“Do you mind taking them off, so I can fix them?”

She turned to me with a blank expression as if I asked her to strip. For a moment, I thought I said the wrong thing and creeped her out. I hurriedly fished out a pocket sewing kit from my bag.

“S-See? I can mend things. You can even borrow my gym pants, though they might be baggy on you!”

I flinched, expecting her to back away. Why would she want to put on pants from some random guy? I was being stupid.

However, I felt a tug of fabric between my hands and opened my eyes. Lacey had the pants on and extended the skirt to me.

Minutes later, my fingers wove through the fabric, blending the folds to hide any trace of the accident. Satisfied that no one could see it at a glance, I handed it back to her.

“There you go. Not good as new, but it should be enough until you get a new one.”

“I’m surprised. You’re good with your hands.” Lacey put it on before dropping the pants and folding it up neatly. “I can’t even tell. In fact, I may even forget by the time I get home that it was torn.”

“Haha, do you really have that bad of a memory?”

“Of course not. I think I just need a nice reminder. A hundred things can happen in a day. How am I supposed to remember every little thing? You know, life comes up with distraction after distraction, enough for things to slip.”

“And how am I supposed to remind you? It’s not like I can just come up to you casually and tell you to change your skirt. People will think I’m a weirdo approaching you for the wrong reasons.”

Lacey drew close and stared at my face, making me nervous. I eyed her skeptically, wondering why she became a space invader.

“I know. Then you just need to approach me for the right one.”

Lacey bent down and took my hand, kissing it. I froze on the spot, not expecting that.

“My dear prince, you have saved me from the embarrassment of naked thigh before public. As your reward, I, Princess Lacey, grant you the privilege of courtship.”

Calling me flabbergasted would be putting it lightly. I had to smack myself in the face to understand that it wasn’t a fantasy. Or a joke. I stared at her face, waiting for the inevitable tease, but it never came. Why did she think I was worthy? Me, a worthless slob that barely took the time to even take care of myself.

The present Lacey looked at me with a cocked head. Apparently, I had been daydreaming about the past for too long.

“Is something wrong?” she asked sweetly. I really didn’t deserve her.

Before I could shoot down the hesitation, she had already reached out, hands covering my ears, cradling my head. My view went down to her shapely thighs, the cheek that ached plopping down on top of them.

“There, there, your favorite.”

I had no reason to reject thighs. It had become a running joke because I had noticed them from the start. And Lacey was all too happy to entertain.

She brushed my hair back, which was starting to get long. It normally drooped down and covered my eyes, but not enough to hide the blemish on my cheek. She stared down at me, and finally, I looked up at her.

Turning the other cheek up, I stared into her eyes, waiting for any change in them. She continued brushing my hair, either blissfully ignorant or purposefully ignoring it. I couldn’t tell which.

“Say, don’t you notice something?” I finally asked.

After all, a girlfriend was supposed to notice things about me, right? We spend so much time trying to get to know each other, enough to get annoyed when even a little thing goes unnoticed. And for Lacey not to mention the band-aid, it made me question.

“Do you want me to?”

Slowly, I ripped off the band-aid, showing her the missing piece of my cheek.

“I’m not imagining it, right? There’s an ugly chunk missing, right?” My eyes started to tear up, imagining the look of disgust she would give.

“Does it bother you?”

I looked up into her eyes, which started to fill with concern. For a moment, I felt like maybe it was okay. That everything would be okay. She would laugh it off with a smile. After all, a couple went through bad times together if it was real.

“Yes… it does.”

She reached down and stroked my cheek where it hurt. Gently, she traced her fingertips along the crevice that formed. It felt tender, loving even. To have someone accept a scar unconditionally brought me a sense of comfort.

“I see… it’s quite deep. It must hurt. But I know just the thing to make you feel better.”

I wondered what Lacey would do, anticipated even. But then, the glint of a knife made me jump right out of her lap.

I backed away, heart racing, throat dry. Why? Why did she pull out a weapon?!

But even stranger, why was she holding it up to her own face?

The blade dug into her perfect skin, blood dripping down, but she didn’t stop. She didn’t even wince. It was like she hardly acknowledged that she was hurting herself.

“S-Stop! Stop, please!”

“Why?” She cocked her head, as if I was asking why birds flew. By now, the blood had run down the front of her school outfit, dyeing the light blue color into a murky purple.

“Why would you do that! Why?!”

Lacey looked down at the knife. She wiped her cheek with a sleeve before tracing her fingertips across the fresh wound.

“If it bothers you that much, then I need to match the feelings you have.”

Her answer made me stumble backwards, not understanding the logic behind it. As if she could read the confusion hidden behind the terror on my face, she crouched before me and smiled.

“A couple does everything together, right? Thick and thin. Sickness and health. To death do we part, right? You made me yours. You wanted me this way.”

“I-, no! How could I?”

Words failed me. How could I ever wish harm on another person? I simply wanted comfort, reassurance that even if something was wrong with me, that someone would stand by my side.

“I d-didn’t ask for this…” I turned away, unable to look at Lacey. I couldn’t fathom how I could want anything like this.

A hand gripped my chin, forcing me to look back. I met eyes that were on the verge of betrayal. A hint of anger spiked her voice.

“Don’t you remember? You wanted a girlfriend that would do everything with you, to solve your problems by being next to you no matter what. If you can’t bear the pain alone, then we will bear it together. That was our promise.”

I didn’t recall making such promises. I wanted a normal life and a normal relationship. It all sounded like words spoken by another person. A sudden thought went through my head.

“Hey, what’s my name?”

“…Dearest.”

“No, my actual name. Not what you want to call me!”

Lacey looked at me, a look of static in her eyes. It seemed like the correct answer didn’t compute. After a moment of hesitation, her expression returned to normal.

“I can call you anything you want. Just tell me what you prefer.”

It didn’t work that way. Something was definitely off about her. In fact, I was starting to doubt who I even was. Aside from the memories I had of meeting her, I couldn’t remember much else beyond that. The sweetness of our relationship had made me ignore that.

Lacey knelt before me, patting her lap again. It was wet and sticky from the blood running all the way down from her cheeks.

“Let’s unravel together.”

I felt sick to my stomach. I kicked her away, much to her surprise and disappointment.

I didn’t feel cared for. I didn’t feel sorry.