Our Ritual

Waking up hurt. I gasped as my body shivered from a tingling all over. The blue sky looked down at me as my eyes opened. I tried to roll over but it seemed hard to push off the ground.

As my eyes wandered over to the school building, the memories from just before I fell rushed in. I had dropped three stories and was somehow still alive.

Slowly, I lifted my back off the ground. As I bent forward, I saw that my limbs were still intact. A moment of relief washed over me until my chest shook suddenly. A wave of nausea erupted from the pit of my stomach and caused me to choke.

Viciously, like I wanted to throw up, the illness brewed from my stomach and slowly clawed its way up my throat.

Throwing my head down, I gagged as frothy white expelled from my mouth. Like curdled milk, it came out in chunks. Not even vomit looked right anymore. I wiped my mouth with a sleeve and then I noticed.

My arm felt a bit thin, light even. I hobbled around like an emasculated victim of starvation. Certainly, I didn’t have much to eat today. I lost my appetite ever since meeting with Lacey. There was no way I could be hungry after that, but that didn’t explain how empty I felt.

I looked around, finding it strange that no one had bothered to take notice. After all, two guys had fallen out the window. Some sort of authority should have rushed to the scene. Someone should have cared. Yet, students followed their path to and from classes, a routine guided on rails.

“Forget it. No one cares about us.”

That voice shoved any hope running through my head aside. I turned to see Taylor on the ground, sprawled out and on his back. He turned his head grotesquely to the side like he had no neck at all, to address me.

“What do you mean? There are people walking by here. What is wrong with them? What is wrong with us? Why does no one even stop to look?” My voice creaked. I didn’t even have the energy to shout my frustrations.

Even as I stared into the creepy eyes of Taylor, his neck bent horribly, I hoped for some kind of answer.

“Because they are only here to watch the game.”

“Game? What game?! What are you talking about?!”

A melody floated in my head, not quite distinguishable but familiar, nonetheless. Despite how innocent and childish it sounded, I could feel nothing but dread.

The melody echoed louder and louder until I realized that there were words to it, sung by the students that surrounded us. All of a sudden they had turned to form a circle, swaying along like something was about to happen.

“Unravel! Unravel!” They chanted, all in chorus.

I whipped my head around to see them approaching us, the circle growing smaller and smaller.

“What’s happening? What are they doing?”

A hand grabbed my leg, making me jump. I looked down to see Taylor crawling up at me. He reached a hand upward and for the first time, I noticed that his arm was unnaturally coiling around me.

It was like his arm lacked sinew and bone, warped and frayed like the clothing he had on. As he held onto me, the bare skin of his arm started to split apart like seams separating. The damage grew and grew, until there was nothing left to hold it together. His body fell down, having lost his grip on me.

“Looks like my turn.” Taylor sighed as he looked right up at me.

“Your turn for what?”

Despite asking, I had a feeling I knew what was coming. I simply asked because I hoped the answer was different.

A bully before but the little one hoped.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

A friend he wanted, but there was no one else.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

So he let himself get hurt with a smile.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

Because the pain stung less than going unnoticed.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

I watched as Taylor came undone bit by bit, verse by verse. Despite the look he gave me that he was fighting it back, his body grew lighter as shreds fell to the ground around him.

My eyes couldn’t tear away from the scene. I watched as Taylor huffed to cope with his existence crumbling, fear making his face white. Not even he could put on a tough look at coming completely undone.

Eventually, even that look of fear peeled away, until nothing was left but a hand still gripping the front of my pants leg.

Finally regaining my senses, I brushed the hand off and watched as it too turned into nothing but a pile of threads, a little pile of yarn left behind.

I shook my head, but then, I felt one of my eyes fall out and half my vision gone. I reached up to hold what I thought was a dangling eye, but it was a button instead. The hole on my face had gotten big enough that it couldn’t hold it there anymore.

Somehow, the pieces were connecting in my mind. I looked down at myself. I yanked the buttons apart from my shirt, exposing my torso. Instead of smooth skin, there were overlapping lines all over. I had never noticed them before.

I knew it. I was a doll too. Just like Taylor. Just like Lacey. I picked at the space between the yarn threads and realized that there was no pain. After all, dolls didn’t bleed. I had simply imagined that I would because I still believed that I was human. But now, there was nothing stopping me from ripping myself apart. Maybe I was caught up in despair, but I shoved my hand through those seams and felt around.

There was something soft and fluffy, different from the threads. And with a swift yank, I pulled it out – white cotton, handfuls of it. When Taylor said that he’d beat the stuffing out of me, that was what he meant.

I had no organs, just filler. What was I even supposed to do anymore?

A pair of arms wrapped around me.

I turned around and saw blue hair, but it no longer had silkiness to it. Rather, it was yarn, blue thin yarn that mimicked hair. Scared, I pushed Lacey away. Dolls couldn’t provide warmth anyway.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” she said.

I started to back away. But then, I froze as she reached up to claw her eye right out of its socket. She held it out to me like it was a peace offering. I couldn’t help but cry.

It wasn’t her fault that she was this way. Someone had made us. Like Taylor said, someone was playing a game. I turned to her to apologize.

“I’m sorry too. It’s not you. It’s not us. I just… didn’t know.”

Lacey walked over to me, the dangling eye now a button hanging by a thread.

“It’s okay. It’s fine. Everything will be fine.”

She tucked a hand under her shirt and ripped out stuffing from her stomach, the same as me. With it held out, it looked like she had resigned herself to her fate.

“Let’s unravel together,” she cried as well. “Our pain can stop here.”

Seeing the look on her face, I gave in. This world was so wrong. Even in this horrifying situation, I couldn’t help but feel a bit of relief that she cared.

I walked into her arms, feeling like I needed a hug from her. Sorely, I wished that I had stayed ignorant. Then, we could have spent more time together, never caring about how twisted our actions could become. Not doubting or even thinking unpleasant thoughts.

“Be with me, Lacey. I don’t know what else to do.”

I took her hand, balled around the cotton fluff and shoved it into my torso. I winced as she felt around, letting her fluff mix with mine, before she gripped a part of me and pulled out. With a beaming smile, she put the fluff she took from me and put it into herself.

“I love you. Forever and ever.” Her voice was soft and gentle, a hint of fulfillment.

It was a weird, twisted ritual. But we were twisted dolls. There was no other way to feel more whole as we embraced each other.

The melody rang again. The two of us froze at that sound. Lacey shook her head looking up at me. Even with a single button eye, I could tell that she was afraid. It was too soon to go. We had only just accepted each other.

“Unravel! Unravel!” The students all chanted once again.

Which one this time? Me or her? Either way, it would be hard to accept. I shut my eyes and held her tight. I kissed the top of her forehead and said that, “it would be alright.”

We were fine. Everything was fine. Just let us go together.

A perfect girlfriend the little one wished.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

Sweet as an angel giving a mother’s kiss.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

So she bore all the sins that he couldn’t hide.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

Because it hurt so much to see you die.

“Unravel! Unravel!”

“No, no, no, NO!” I screamed at the mob. “Why are you taking her? It was me! I started all this! If only I held it in, kept the secret to myself, nothing would have to unravel!”

I knew that wasn’t true, but if excuses could delay then I would give them.

The mob didn’t care. It sang and sang, until I felt Lacey buckle from my grip. I looked down to see her legs had turned to shreds. Below her knees was a spaghetti of yarn, frayed out and unraveling up to her thighs.

I bent down, clamped by hands around her thighs, anything to hold it all together. But sure enough, the yarn crumbled between my fingertips. The damage was inescapable and merciless.

Lacey latched onto me, giving a scratchy kiss with her lips. I didn’t care though. Her yarn could have sucked all the moisture remaining in my body, and I would have done it again.

She pulled back and looked at me with a single worried eye. I held her fallen button up to her face.

“You’re beautiful. No matter what,” I whispered.

For a moment, it looked like she forgot, lost in that single moment of praise, ignoring everything else.

“Thank-”

And then, her face fell apart.

I puddled the strands together, but no matter what I did, they wouldn’t form a face again. It wouldn’t bring Lacey back. As I finally let them slip out of my fingers, I turned to the crowd, who watched on in silence.

“Well? What about me?” I yelled out to them.

In response, they simply turned around and walked away. Back to their neat rows, traveling from place to place. Back to whatever positions that they were given.

I felt anger bubble within me. What now? What kind of sick game was this?

My eyes turned up to the sky, wondering if it was fake too. I looked beyond it and imagined who was staring down at me, happy to set up a life like this and then tear it away.

Finding no answer to that, I stomped the ground and roared out in frustration. I shoved my hands into my pockets, and then, I felt something familiar there. Pulling it out, I eyed it.

A miniature sewing kit. Why do I even have this?

After a moment, I realized that I had forgotten someone.

“Mother.”