High-Five Bounty Hunters

It had been a long day, but it was about to be a longer night. Hollis pulled his ship to the docking port on his node in the suburban station he called home. The check engine light on his ship had just come on, but based on the letters jammed into his mailslot, he had a feeling that all the creditors would want a piece of his paycheck before his space truck even made the shortlist.

He sighed, stepped through the airlock, and was met by Maka. She wore an apron that said “High-Five the Chef” and held a wooden spoon covered in pasta sauce. “Welcome home!” she said.

No matter how rough a day he'd had, there was something about the way Maka greeted him at the door that could melt away even the worst days. He smiled. “Dinner almost ready?” he said, nodding to the spoon.

“You bet,” she said.

“High-five,” he said. They slapped hands, then kissed.

“How was your day?” she asked, heading back into the kitchen to stir the sauce. Several empty tuna cans sat on the counter by the sink. Before he could answer, though, the kids burst into the room.

“Daddy!” Pepper said. “Dad!” said Basil, Salt, and Cinnamon. “Papa!” said Rosemary.

“Hey, Hollis,” said Ginger.

“Call me ‘Dad,’” he corrected her.

The kids, all with their mother's pointy ears and tails (and claws) climbed all over him as he tried to talk about his day with Maka. He told her about a mission where someone had thrown a snake at him in hopes of distracting him enough to get away.

“Did you keep the snake?” one of the kids asked.

“It's in the truck,” he said. “Why don't you go check it out?”

With that, all six children vanished. Hollis took a breath. “The check engine light came on today,” he said.

Maka stirred the sauce as it slowly simmered. “Yeah?” she said.

“And it looks like the monthly bills came in the mail today.”

“Yeah,” she said.

“There's a big job that just came up,” he said. “But I can't do it alone.”

She kept stirring. “Hmm,” she said.

“But if I get someone to help me, I'll have to split the bounty,” he said.

She nodded. Her ears flicked.

“Do you want to take it on with me? It'll be just like when we first left the Space Hunters.”

She looked up at him. Then, a large smile grew on her face. He could see her pointed teeth, she was grinning so broadly. “That sounds fun,” she said. The sauce started to boil, spattering her apron with red. “We'll need to find a sitter, though.”

Hollis flipped through the mail. Based on the bounty board, the payout could make all of these go away. He might even be able to get a new space truck. They might even be able to get a bigger node on the station, what with all the kids. They were growing like weeds.

Speaking of which, the kids returned, sharing the load of the snake. They were chanting “Snake, snake, snake!” as they made their way through the living room.

Maka set down eight plates of food at their table. “Dinner time, kids. Wash up, as I don't want you getting salmonella from that snake.”

Hollis wondered if half-Nekoids could get salmonella, as he was pretty sure they could eat raw poultry with no ill effects (except Rosemary, who seemed to not be able to eat anything without ill effects). He thought about asking Maka, but she tended to get a little irritated when he confused Nekoid physiology with Felixian physiology. He decided he'd look it up on later when he had time.

The kids clambered over to the cramped table and began to eat. Salt started eating from Cinnamon's plate, and Cinnamon started whining. Maka made a sound that Hollis couldn't quite describe, and the kids started behaving.

“I'll see if I can find a sitter,” she said. “You get started on eating.”

“I'll wait for you,” he said.

“Don't worry about me,” she said. “I've been picking at the food I've been making all day.”

He nodded. He squeezed himself between Basil and Ginger and after picking some hair out of the sauce, began eating.

The kids ate at different paces. Ginger was invariably done first, and Hollis began to wonder if she was part wolf. He would definitely not mention this to Maka. Besides, she would say that Ginger got it from him while poking him in the stomach. Hollis made a point to eat slower, wanting to sit a little with Maka while she ate her own meal.

Soon it was just Rosemary and Hollis. She picked at the noodles, eating them one at a time, and chewing them each at least twenty times before swallowing them. Between bites, she'd take a sip of water, then continue on with the next noodle.

Hollis tried to stretch out his meal, but even pacing himself against Rosemary was an uphill battle. In the other room, he heard Maka make call after call after call.

When he had only one noodle left on his plate, and Rosemary was halfway done with her meal, Maka returned, slumped at the table, set the phone down next to her now cold pasta, and sighed. “Nobody,” she said. “Nobody is free. Or they're all lying to me because we have a bunch of hellions.”

Rosemary looked up. Maka shook her head.

Hollis pierced his last noodle and traversed it across the remaining sauce on his plate. “Maybe the kids are old enough to be home on their own,” he said.

Maka started eating her food. A small explosion sounded from the kids’ room, and smoke began to pour into the hallway. Ginger ran out. “It wasn't me!” she said. The ventilators detected the smoke and began to circulate the air.

Hollis looked at his wife. She looked at him. They were both tapping their rings on the table, rings that had been fashioned from the manacle Maka once wore to remember her people. She wouldn't marry Hollis until all the Nekoids were free from slavery, and that was sufficient motivation for him. Now, the biggest motivator was getting the kids to bed on time so they could spend half an hour together in the evenings before passing out on the couch from sheer exhaustion.

They were thinking the same thing.

“Maybe,” she said.

“We should,” he said.

“Bring them with us,” they said together.

“It's a crazy idea,” Hollis said.

“But it just might work,” she said.

“High-five?” Hollis said.

Maka nodded. They slapped a high-five across the table. Then she finished her food before Hollis could eat his last noodle. Rosemary was still working on hers.

“Kids,” Maka called down the hallway. The smoke was mostly clearing, and Basil was picking burnt fur off his tail. “I want you to get ready to go out. Your father and I need to do something, and we can't leave you at home alone.”

Salt peeked his head out of the room. He was wearing a toy space helmet. “Are you going to go on a mission?” he asked.

Pepper wore a tiara. “A bounty mission?” she said. “Can I bring my dolls?”

Cinnamon wore a cape and a mask. “I want to help!”

“Yes,” said Maka. “Just one doll. No you can't help. And everybody make sure to go to the bathroom before we go!”

“Can't I bring three?” said Pepper.

Maka glowered. “Just two, then, or none.”

This was an acceptable compromise.

Soon all the kids were ready, except Rosemary. Hollis scooped the pasta into a plastic container. “You can eat it in the truck,” he said.

Once the kids were ready and Maka had counted the number of dolls that Pepper had, Hollis strapped them into their seats in the back of the truck. Basil wore his favorite scarf, and Ginger wore her favorite scowl. “Basil won't let me name the snake,” she grumped.

“It's a diamond-backed copperconda,” he said. “I looked it up in my snake book.”

“Is that why you set him on fire?” Hollis asked.

“It wasn't me,” she protested.

Once they were all buckled in, and double checked, Maka appeared. She wore her bounty-hunter shirt, but still wore her lime-green mom-pants. “I don't fit the bounty-hunter pants anymore,” she said.

“That's fine,” said Hollis. He spun the keys on his finger. “You ready?”

“Let's get a rundown on the job first,” she said.

“Sure,” he said. “There's a group that calls themselves the Space Vagrants. Ace Stirling is their leader. The bounty for capturing them all alive is substantial.”

Make checked her blaster as well as Hollis’ as he talked. “How substantial?”

“Bigger-house-substantial,” he said. “No-more-debt-substantial,” he said. “New-truck-substantial.”

Maka's eyes gleamed at the prospect of having a bigger house, maybe a room for each kid instead of three sets of bunk beds in the master bedroom while she and Hollis shared the smaller room. Her mind raced: her own bathroom, a bigger kitchen, a living room where she could have friends over for book clubs and recipe swaps. “I'm in,” she said.

“Due to the size of the bounty,” he said, “I expect there will be competition. Tenacitus and Syzygyn are both rumored to be hunting them down.”

Maka nodded. “And what gives us the edge?”

Hollis grinned. “I know where they're hiding.”

“Great,” she said. “Let's not lose that edge.” They climbed into the truck and Hollis started the engine. “How did you find out?”

“Cousin on an asteroid mine told me something, and it all clicked into place.”

She nodded. He undocked the space truck and jetted it out past the suburban station. “Do you think we could get new furniture?” Maka said.

“One step at a time,” Hollis said.

They drove along the galactic highway for several minutes. Then Cinnamon spoke up. “I have to go potty,” he said matter-of-factly.

Maka looked back over her seat. “Didn't I tell you to go before we left?”

He looked down. “Yes,” he said. “But I have to go again.”

She sighed and looked over at Hollis. “There's a station up ahead,” he said. He looked at the dashboard readouts. “I should probably get a quart of oil anyway.” He turned on his signal and took the next exit.

They pulled into the magfield of a station. The fuel tank was still past the midway point, so he parked in one of the parking docks. After turning off the space truck he looked back at his kids. “Does anybody else need to go?” he said.

They all shook their heads. He unlatched Cinnamon and carried him under his arm into the shop. The bathrooms were in the back. They walked into the men’s room. Cinnamon was too small to use anything but the stall, so Hollis opened the door for him, put him inside, and waited outside the stall door. After a minute, he looked back. “You about done in there?”

“I need you to wipe me,” said Cinnamon.

Hollis groaned inwardly, went back into the stall and helped Cinnamon out. Then they both washed and dried their hands. He carried cinnamon on his shoulders, the kid's feet sticking out past his head, Cinnamon's little finger claws scratching his head. Hollis grabbed a quart of oil for his space truck and took it to the cashier. Another Nekoid.

“Hey,” he said.

“Hmm,” said the Nekoid.

Hollis handed him the quart of oil. “Just this, please,” he said.

The Nekoid scanned the oil with his scanner. “That comes with a free Freezie,” he said.

“Really?” said Hollis. “That seems arbitrary.”

The Nekoid shrugged. “It's based on market research,” he said.

Hollis looked over at the Freezie dispenser.

“Are you gonna get one or not, ‘cause I have to run it through differently.”

“Oh,” said Hollis. “I'll take it then.” He carried Cinnamon over to the dispenser.

“Get Wild Grape,” said Cinnamon.

“Sure,” said Hollis. “But you have to share it with your brothers and sister.” He looked over at the cashier. “What size?”

The cashier rolled his eyes. “Any size.” He pointed a clawed finger at the sign that said FREE ANY SIZE FREEZIE WITH THE PURCHASE OF A QUART OF OIL.

Hollis nodded. He picked the larger cup, since there were six of them. He filled it up, and a bit popped out through the domed lid. He handed it to Cinnamon, who started working on it, and then went over to the cashier to pay.

He thought about mentioning that he was Hollis Wren, the guy who helped free all the Nekoids from slavery, but didn't want to sound like he was bragging, so he let it slide. “Have a nice day,” he said instead.

Out in the parking lot, Maka was holding Pepper upside-down by her leg. Salt and Ginger were chasing each other around the truck while Basil sat on the hood fiddling with his scarf. Rosemary was still in her seat, working away at the remainder of her dinner.

Maka saw Hollis. “Good,” she said. “Help me gather up these little menaces, and whichever ones we can't get back in the car, we're leaving here.” She said that last part loud enough for the kids to hear.

Hollis nodded. He deposited Cinnamon into his seat, scooped up Ginger and Salt and placed them in their seats. Then he took Basil and Pepper (still upside-down) and put them into their seats (right-side-up). He reminded Cinnamon to share the freezie, then went to top off his oil. Under the hood, Maka slid up beside him. “It's good to be out,” she said. “But it feels like there are so many of them sometimes.”

Hollis smiled. “Maybe we can get a robot nanny,” he said. “After we fix up the truck and get a new house and some nice furniture.”

Maka smiled. “One step at a time,” she said. She nuzzled against him and started purring lightly.

Hollis poured in the oil. “Aside from the kids, this reminds me of the old times.”

“Me too,” she said. Then a breath. Then, “Well, back to reality,” she said.

Hollis threw away the bottle, and the two climbed back into the truck. They undocked then left the magfield, then back into space. About five minutes later, Pepper started crying.

Maka turned around. “What is the matter now?” she said.

Pepper held up her two dolls. “I left one of my dolls behind,” she said between sobs.

Maka practically crawled over the seat. “That's impossible,” she said. “You have both your dolls right here.”

Pepper continued to bawl. “I brought three,” she said. “I left Annie Bananny at the gas station.” Then more tears.

Maka sighed. She looked at her husband. He bit his lip and turned on his signal. Seven minutes later they were back at the station. “Where is it?” Hollis said.

“On the wood pile,” said Pepper.

Hollis got out of the truck, walked over to the wood pile, and found the Annie Bananny doll. He picked it up and brought it back to the truck. He handed it to Maka. “You can have it after we get home,” he said. “You're lucky we even went back to get it.”

Back in space again, they flew past distant stars. Maka looked out the window. It was relaxing, the colors of space painting a beautiful picture in the distance.

“Ginger scratched me,” said Basil.

“Did not,” said Ginger.

Maka turned around. “If anybody scratches anybody else,” she said, her voice even giving Hollis goosebumps, “I'm going to have the lot of you declawed.”

“I didn't scratch him,” Ginger said after a pause.

“I don't care,” said Maka.

“Listen to your mother,” Hollis said. He was hoping that the drive would make the kids drowsy and fall asleep, but a glance in the rearview mirror showed them all to be alert and wide-eyed.

He saw an asteroid field in the distance. “There it is,” he said. “It's an old mining rig,” he said. Then he looked in the mirror. “Did you know that I used to live on an asteroid?” he asked his kids.

“Which one?” said Basil. “That one?”

“No,” said Hollis. “None of these. It was a different asteroid field.” He turned off the lights of his truck, going as silent as possible, then crept his way toward the shipping platform. Once past the magfield, he landed the truck in the shadows. He looked at Maka. She nodded, handing him his blaster.

“Mom and dad need to do some work now,” he said. “Don't leave the truck for any reason.” The kids all nodded.

The two got out of the truck. Hollis pushed the superlock button, and the truck beeped, the echo ringing through the shipping platform. He winced. Maka gave him a look. He gave her a shrug in response. Then they continued on toward the mining rig.

“Does it look like anybody's here?” Maka asked, her voice quiet.

Hollis sniffed the air. It was a familiar scent, one that reminded him of childhood, like some children remember a house smelling of warm cookies or space larvae, this was the smell of home. And something else. “I'm positive,” he said.

They opened the hatch leading to the rig. Hollis lowered his goggles, turning on night vision. Maka, being a Nekoid, had hers built in. The two of them walked in silence through the darkened corridors of the abandoned mining rig. They listened for the slightest sound of activity anywhere, Maka's ears flicking with each creak or bump.

Down a hallway, in the foreman's office, a glowlamp flickered. Hollis nodded to Maka. He kicked in the door, and the two burst into the room, blasters leveled and badges out. “Nobody move!” Hollis said.

There were four people in the room: a thin man in a lab coat playing checkers with a woman with glowing eyes and a distant expression, a kid in the corner with a large mop of hair on her head, and a man in a leather jacket leaning against a desk, chewing on a toothpick. A ferret with a helmet stood on the desk. All but the man in the toothpick turned toward the door. They slowly raised their hands in a gesture of non-aggression and to show they weren't armed.

“We're here to collect your bounty on behalf of the Space Emperor,” Hollis said. “If you go with us nicely, nobody will have to get hurt.”

Toothpick man sniffed. Then he pulled the toothpick from his mouth and ground it on the desk's surface like it was a cigarette. “Well, shoot,” he said.

Maka's whiskers twitched. In a blur, she moved across the room, and the next thing anybody knew, she had a cyborg ninja with a katana in a headlock. “I'd suggest you go with us peacefully,” she said.

The girl in the corner stood up. “Um,” she said. “I'm sort of the emperor's daughter. I'm sure I can call it off.”

Hollis shook his head. “Nice story,” he said. “But even if that were true, it doesn't work that way.”

The man in the lab coat spoke up. “Couldn't we just pay you more to go away?”

Maka looked at Hollis. The cyborg ninja was hanging limp in her chokehold. Hollis shrugged. “You could, but that wouldn't be honest. There's no guarantee that another hunter wouldn't chase you down. In fact, there's at least two others that are in hot pursuit of you. Additionally, it would wreck my reputation.”

Toothpick man shrugged. “I get that.” He looked at the others. “We'll go peacefully.”

Hollis pulled out some omnicuffs. “Nothing personal,” he said. “It's just protocol.”

Toothpick man held out his hands. “Sure,” he said. Hollis cuffed him, then the others, including the ferret.

“A pity,” said the man in the lab coat. “I was just about to win.”

The woman with glowing eyes laughed like a bell. “You were just about to fall into my trap.”

The cyborg ninja was still out, so Hollis attached a gravolift to him. They led the group down the corridors back to the shipping platform. Maka popped open the back of the truck, where a bench lined either side. The Space Vagrants shuffled in and sat down quietly. Once they were all in, Maka closed the hatch.

Hollis opened the cab of the truck to check on the kids. However, when he opened the door, instead of seeing six half-Nekoids sleeping in their seats, or, more likely, six wide-awake half-Nekoids fighting with each other, he saw an empty cab. A plastic container of tuna noodles in tomato sauce sat on the floor, upturned and spilled all over the carpet in the back.

“Maka,” he said. She looked over at him. “Bad news. The kids are gone.”

Her eyes went wide. She crouched, looked almost feral, as she scrambled over to the door to look at the back. Hollis knew she was trying to pick up their scent. She was in full mom mode now. Hollis followed after her as she darted here and there. Then, they arrived at a locker in the corner of the shipping platform. She wrenched it open, revealing five sets of glowing eyes. She leaned over and grabbed them, hugging them. “I'm very angry with you for leaving the truck,” she said. “But I'm glad I found you.”

Hollis did some mental accounting. “Where's your sister?” He asked. “Where's Rosemary?”

“It wasn't my idea,” Ginger said. “It was Cinnamon.”

“We just wanted to explore,” Cinnamon said, still working on the Freezie. “But Rosemary was still eating, so we left her behind. Then the bad people came, so we hid.”

“Bad people?” Maka said, looking at her husband.

“What did they look like?” Hollis asked.

Basil pulled on his scarf. “One looked like an Imperial Herald, but without the proper insignia,” he said.

“And the other looked like an ugly space bug in a cowboy hat,” said Pepper, clutching to her three dolls.

“Tenacitus and Syzygyn,” Hollis and Maka said in unison. “Kids, we have to get back to the truck. It's super important that you stay put there.”

“Not so fast,” said a voice behind them. Hollis and Maka stiffened. They turned slowly to see a figure in futuristic medieval garb. A had a halberd strapped to his back, and held a dagger in one hand. In the other, he held Rosemary by the scruff of her neck. Hollis didn't realize that the kids had neck scruffs, and briefly thought about bringing it up with Maka later. He dismissed the idea.

“Tenacitus,” he said. “Fancy meeting you here.” He tried to keep his voice calm and level. “We got the bounty first, fair and square. Just hand us over the kid, and nobody needs to get hurt.”

The former Imperial Herald laughed. “It doesn't work that way today, Wren,” he said. He drew the point of his dagger closer to Rosemary. “Hand us the bounty, or you'll have one less mouth to feed.” He chuckled. “Who would bring their children on a dangerous mission?”

Maka tensed like a jungle panther ready to strike. Hollis gave her a side eye. He wasn't sure if her speed could match Tenacitus, and the former Herald had a head-start. He gave her a gesture, and she relaxed just a bit.

“Surely we can talk this out,” Hollis said. “I mean, if you hurt that one, you're a dead man anyway, so the bounty won't be much good to you.”

Tenacitus considered this. Then he shrugged. “I'll take my chances. It is a lot of money.” He held Rosemary up to look at her face. “Tell your parents to forget the bounty,” he said, “and I won't need to make new strings for my violin.”

Maka almost exploded.

Rosemary whimpered. Tenacitus grinned at her, showing all teeth. “Ready to say something?” he said.

She looked at him, still hanging by her scruff. Then she said, “Blarp.”

Tenacitus was covered by a barrage of partially digested Pasta al Tonno. His crisp white uniform was spattered with the red of the marinara sauce, and he wasn't smiling any longer.

The distraction was enough. Maka darted forward in a flash and chopped at his throat. Before he could collapse to the floor in a puddle of Rosemary's dinner, Maka was beside Hollis, the distraught Rosemary clutched in her hands.

Hollis looked at the former Imperial Herald. “He'll be out for a good while,” he said. They walked past him. “If he's still alive.”

They got back to the shipping platform and saw their familiar truck just meters away. Nobody had tried to escape when they were gone. They brushed the sweat from their brows and gave an exasperated sigh. “High five?” Hollis wagered, his children crawling over him like he was an opossum. Maka gave him a half-hearted high-five.

“Let's get these kids buckled up and let's get out of here,” she said weakly. Hollis nodded.

“Not so fast,” said someone else. A gun stuck to Maka's forehead. The gun was held by a claw-like hand attached to a chitinous arm attached to a disgusting space cockroach named Syzygyn.

She raised her hands. “What do you want, space bug?” she said.

“Isn't it obvious?” he said, his mandibles clicking. “I want the bounty. And now that Tenacitus is out of the way, I can collect it all myself.” He looked up and mused. “That's new hive money.”

“Surely we can work out a three-way split,” Maka suggested, hands still up.

“There's no need to resort to violence,” Hollis added.

Syzygyn snorted. He scratched just under his segmented eye with one of his other arms. “But killing you would be easier,” he said.

“But it wouldn't be right,” said Hollis.

The bug shrugged. “Who cares about right?” he said.

Maka met Hollis’ gaze. He looked at her. The unspoken communication between them was dense, but clear: don't let the children come to harm, and if you can, squish this bug.

He nodded. His hand crept toward the blaster on his belt.

Syzygyn's other arm came up, leveling another gun at Hollis. “Don't be a hero,” he said. “Just hand over the bounty and nobody gets hurt.”

“HIGH FIVE!” someone shouted. Then, two giant robot hands slapped together right where Syzygyn stood. Maka tensed, and the misfiring blaster in his hand just missed her. Still, she was covered in ichor and good. When the shock of what had happened dissipated, she looked at the two giant hands. They were the mechs that she and Hollis used to pilot back when they were Space Hunters. “Have you kids been going through mommy and daddy's things?” she said.

The hatch on one of the mechs popped open. It was Ginger. “It was Salt's idea,” she said

Salt opened the hatch on the other. He shrugged.

Maka pulled the two kids out of the mechs and took the mechmotes away from them. “I appreciate the help,” she said, “but when we get home, we're going to have a long talk about respecting other people's things.”

“It was Salt's idea,” Ginger repeated.

Hollis, wrangling four of the kids and Maka, covered in what remained of Syzygyn and carrying the other two, made their way back to the truck. The back was open, and the Space Vagrants were sneaking away.

“Stop right there,” Hollis said. He leveled his blaster at them.

They stopped. Toothpick-man held up his hands and slowly turned. “We thought we'd take the opportunity while you were distracted, to escape.”

This seemed reasonable, but still, new house money.

“I get that you don't want to be captured,” Hollis said, trying to look serious with four demi-cat children climbing all over him, “but that's just how things are done.”

Toothpick-man wandered next to the alleged princess in his party and tousled her mop of hair. “What if the emperor put out a bounty on your kids?” he asked. “Or your wife? What would you do?”

“I'd protect them,” he said. “I'd keep them safe. Leave the imperium if I had to.”

Toothpick-man pointed to the princess, to the thin man in the lab coat, to the woman with glowing eyes, to the ferret, to the cyborg ninja. “This is my family,” he said. “And I'm just trying to keep them safe.”

Hollis lowered his blaster just a smidge. Maka side-whispered, “What are you doing? New house money!”

Hollis looked at his wife. “He's right,” he said. “I'd be doing the exact same thing he's doing if some bounty hunter was coming for us.”

Maka turned to him. “We can't just let them go!” she said.

Hollis sighed. “No, Maka. We can,” he said. “And we will.” He waved the blaster, dismissing the group. “We have to do the right thing.”

A snake head poked out of Basil's scarf. The glasses on the man with the lab coat gleamed. “Excuse me,” he said. “Is that a diamond-backed coppeconda?”

“Yes,” said Basil. “I looked it up in my snake book. Super deadly.”

The thin man grinned. “The venom is very useful for certain scientific applications.” He looked at his boss. “It could be lucrative.”

Toothpick-man rolled his eyes. “It better not end up like the twiddly-bears. I'm still picking fur out of the air filters.”

“I assure you,” said the thin man, “it will be nothing like the twiddly-bears.”

After a moment, Toothpick-man nodded. “Okay.”

The thin man turned back to the Wren family. “I'd like to make an offer,” he said. “If you will sell us that snake for a reasonable amount, we'll make sure it looks like those other two hunters got into a fight and destroyed the mining rig. The emperor will presume us dead, and then after a week, we'll give some indication that we're alive, and then maybe he'll rethink the risks of having a bounty on our heads.” He smiled.

“How much?” Maka said.

The thin man looked over at toothpick-man. Toothpick-man shrugged. Then the thin man said a number. It wasn't new house money, but it was definitely new space truck money.

“I appreciate your offer,” Hollis said, “but the snake belongs to my kids.”

“Maybe I could double it,” said the thin man.

“It's not my call to make,” Hollis said.

Maka looked at her husband. She gave him a look that said, Seriously!?

“Hollis,” said a voice beside him. Someone tugged on his sleeve. “I mean, Dad.” Hollis looked over and down. It was Ginger. “Me and the others were talking, and we're willing to give up Mr. Slithers if it means everybody can be happy.” She smiled. “It was my idea.”

“His name isn't Mr. Slithers!” Basil said.

Hollis looked back at all his kids. They stood in a line and held the snake like it was a lazy rope. “Are you sure?” he said.

They all nodded. He grinned. “Then you have yourself a deal.” He picked up the snake and it wrapped its body around his forearm. He carried it over to the thin man who was busy counting out a stack of bills and chips. Hollis held out his arm and the two men shook hands. While they shook hands, the snake slithered over to the thin man. Hollis took the credits.

“Good luck,” Hollis said to the Space Vagrants.

“You too,” said toothpick-man, his back to them, already ready to leave. “We'll blast the mining rig in 15 minutes.”

When they were gone, Hollis slumped. He was exhausted. He looked over at his family. Maka was covered in a layer of bug juice, the kids were buzzing around like space wasps, and the truck was sitting there, its back hatch open. He sighed. He dragged his family over to the truck, closed the back hatch. Whoever had opened it had broken the lock, so it didn't stay closed. He pulled out some duct tape and closed it temporarily. Then he picked up his kids, one at a time, and buckled them into their seats. Rosemary was already starting to fall asleep.

He held the door for Maka, and she slumped down in the passenger seat, the remains of Syzygyn splatting on the fabric. He'd need to clean the inside of the truck.

He climbed into the driver's seat and closed the door. “Everybody accounted for?” he said. Six little voices chimed in. He nodded.

“I'm going to crawl into the shower when we get home,” Maka said. “Put it on fire-hose mode and turn the dial all the way to hot.” Hollis handed her the stack of credits. It was enough to get the truck fixed good as new, and enough to get all new furniture for the house, and maybe even enough extra for he and Maka to have a nice romantic dinner together.

He flew the space truck away from the mining rig. He glanced in the rearview. Rosemary was asleep, but the rest had wide eyes and were fidgeting. Cinnamon slurped at the Freezie. Maka looked back over her shoulder. “Why are you kids still awake? I could fall asleep ten minutes ago.” She took the Freezie from Cinnamon and took a sip. Then she looked over at Hollis. “What flavor did you get?” she asked, her voice carrying a tinge of anger.

“Wild grape,” said Hollis.

Maka sighed. “You know that wild grape is called ‘wild’ because it has more caffeine than an espresso?” She looked back at the kids, then she handed Hollis the Freezie. “Here,” she said. “You're going to need it to wrangle these kids while they run down all their energy.” She slumped back, closing her eyes, too exhausted for anything else.

Hollis took the Freezie. It was almost all the way gone. He finished it. “After we've rested and recovered,” he said, “let's you and me go out for a nice dinner, just the two of us.”

Maka opened one of her eyes. “You mean it?” she said.

“Yeah,” said Hollis. “We'll get a sitter. Six if we have to.” He pointed at the credits. “We can afford to be a little stupid.” He smiled. She gave him a half-hearted high-five.

Then, almost as one, every kid in the back, except Rosemary, said, “Blarp.”

Well, he had to clean the inside of the truck anyway.

Then Pepper started crying. “I left Cherrie Strawberrie at the mining rig!”

Before Hollis or Maka could say anything in response, a bright explosion lit up some distance behind them. After a few seconds, the shockwave jostled the ship.

“I told you to only bring two,” said Maka. She leaned back and closed her eyes.

Hollis drove on.