Chapter 55: Squadron of Evolution

Coolidge cracked her neck as the zombies continued forming a tight circle around her. She exhaled, then fell forward and struck her staff into the ground before her.

However, she didn’t use her falling momentum to move to the side this time. Instead, she pushed her weight down onto her staff, causing the staff to lift her upwards as Coolidge pole-vaulted over the zombie horde.

She landed outside of their circle, then swiveled towards Arthur with tremendous speed.

“What?” Arthur shouted, gripping at the arms of his chair as he looked around him. “No…no, no, no, no no!”

Because Arthur had clumped all his remaining zombie soldiers together, there wasn’t anything standing between him and Coolidge. Moreover, Arthur was clearly too exhausted from Coolidge’s EP to summon any additional minions to stop her advance. It was clear to everyone that Arthur was out of options.

“…or at least,” Arthur spoke as Coolidge reached his side, “I bet that’s what you’re thinking right about now!”

A look of surprise flashed across Coolidge’s face as Arthur gave a snap of his fingers.

“Executive Power,” he screeched, “Spoils System; Squadron of Evolution!”

The earth below the fighters shuddered and quaked, throwing the unstable Coolidge to the ground. She lifted her head and stared, mouth agape, as a massive, rotten elephant rose from the dirt below Arthur, carrying him and his chair atop its skeletal back.

“Hey,” Arthur remarked with a coy snap of his fingers, “I never said I could only summon human zombies.”

Coolidge shook out her head, regaining her composure before lunging for her staff. She grabbed hold of the weapon, only for the elephant to slam its foot on top of her arm. Coolidge bit her lip, suppressing a wail as she felt the bones in her arm shatter in place.

“I got two words for you, punk,” Arthur spoke as the elephant dug deeper into Coolidge. “You, lose!”

Coolidge looked around as the zombie army lumbered towards her position. She gritted her teeth, then slammed her fist onto the ground.

“…I…” she whispered, “…surrender…”

“What’s that?” Arthur asked, putting a hand to his ear. “I didn’t catch that.”

“I surrender!” she screamed loud enough for everyone in the stadium to hear.

“That’s what I thought,” Arthur sneered as Taft hit his gavel to the ground.

“The fight is over! The winner is, [The Gentleman Boss], Charles Arthur!”

The elephant raised its foot off of Coolidge, then wrapped its trunk around Arthur’s chair and placed him down to the ground. An army of Arthur’s gangsters rushed the field, whooping and hollering as they carried their boss away atop his gilded chair.

In the commentary box, Truman picked up his walkie-talkie with a frown.

“Hayes; regarding your guess as to who Davis’s Confederate might be…”

He looked out and stared at Arthur.

“…I think you’re right on the mark. Chester Arthur is certainly the nefarious type…exactly the sort of person who might try and sneak Davis into the tournament.”

“Agreed,” she replied on the other line. “I thought he was a suspicious guy even back when we fought together with Lincoln against the Confederacy. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if the two were working even back then.”

“Let’s not count our chickens before they hatch. Davis’s Confederate could very well be someone other than him…”

Truman kept watching as Arthur’s men carried him out the arena.

“…but I’d say our odds in this bet are pretty damn good…”

“Woohoo!” a gangster screamed as they paraded Arthur down the hall. “That was fantastic, boss! Especially how you rattled Coolidge with that zombie kid!”

“Yes…” Arthur mumbled with a somber smile, “that sures was something…”

As his men continued to celebrate around him, Arthur quietly pulled out a small, bronze locket from his pocket.

He opened the locket, gazing at the picture of a young woman featured in its frame. He tilted his head, looking to a nearby screen displaying the remainder of the bracket.

“I just gotta make it to round three…” he mumbled, staring out at the Johnson vs Davis matchup for round two, “…no matter what it takes…no matter who I gotta hurt…I’m gonna make it there!”

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Coolidge’s Words. The phrase “I choose not to run” in the previous chapter was said by Calvin Coolidge with regards to whether he would run for another Presidential term in 1928. His strangely worded statement left politicians (and in particular Herbert Hoover) baffled as to whether this meant Calvin genuinely didn’t want to run, or if he simply wanted to appear disinterested. Ultimately he wouldn’t end up entering the race, with him dying shortly after in March 1929.

Perhaps the most famous story around Calvin Coolidge’s silence involves a woman at a party telling him the she bet she could get the reticent President to say more than 3 words to her, to which Calvin promptly replied “you lose,” and said nothing further. Overall it’s disputed whether this event actually took place or not (which is why Charles Arthur says this line in the novel rather than Callie Coolidge).