Chapter 1: The Premium Regression

The first thing I noticed wasn’t the smell of blood or the cold dampness of a trench. It was the scent of expensive sandalwood and the weight of a silk blanket that probably cost more than a small village.

I sat up, my head throbbing with the residual static of one thousand deaths. In my first life, I was a hero. In my five-hundredth, I was a coward. In my nine-hundred-ninety-ninth, I was a snack for a mid-tier dragon. But this? This felt different.

I looked at my hands. They were soft. They hadn't gripped a rusted sword in years. Across the room, a massive gold-leafed mirror reflected a young man with sharp features and the kind of "born-rich" look that usually belonged to the villains I spent my past lives hating.

"Bodrei, you're finally awake."

The door creaked open, and a man stepped in. He wasn't wearing armour or robes; he was wearing a suit tailored from the skin of a Level 50 Shadow Panther. This was Luca. My father. The man who owned three-quarters of the empire’s trade routes and had a personal philosophy that anything—including the laws of physics—had a price tag.

"Father," I croaked.

"Don't 'Father' me with that weak voice," Luca said, tossing a heavy pouch of Diamond Mana Crystals onto my lap. "I’ve pulled some strings. You’re enrolled in Tung Tung Sahur Academy. It’s the most exclusive hunter school in the world. Don't embarrass the family name. If you need more resources, just buy the dungeon. Now, get ready. The sun isn't even up."

As he walked out, I felt a strange vibration in my chest. A dark, pulsating energy began to leak from my shadow. It wasn't the standard mana I had cultivated for a millennium. It was heavier. Greasier. It felt like... pure aura.

Then, the noise started.

Tung! Tung! Tung!

It sounded like a heavy metal pot being struck by a crowbar right next to my ear. I fell out of bed, clutching my head.

"WAKE UP, CHAT! IT'S TIME TO CLIMB!"

A figure manifested in the corner of the room. He looked like a young man with white hair, but his eyes were wide, bloodshot, and frantic. He held a jagged knife in one hand and a literal frying pan in the other. He began to pace frantically, his feet making a heavy thud-thud sound despite there being no floor beneath him. He was walking on invisible stairs.

"Who are you?" I gasped, the 1,000 lives of combat instinct telling me to run, even though my body wouldn't move.

The entity stopped. He tilted his head at a ninety-degree angle, his face twisting into a terrifying, "sigma" smirk that radiated an almost physical pressure.

"I am the one who mogs the gods," the monster hissed, his voice a distorted mix of static and phonk music. "I am Subaru. I am your Master. You have a thousand lives of experience, but zero aura. You're a beta, Bodrei. A total NPC. But look at me... look at the stairs."

A blue screen flickered in front of my eyes, but it wasn't the standard Hunter System.

[Aura Master Detected: Subaru (The Staircase Dweller)] [Current Rank: SSS (Brainrot Tier)] [Current Task: Perform the 'Tung Tung Sahur' Awakening.] [Goal: Reach Level 9999 to escape the Cringe.]

"The stairs are infinite, Bodrei," Subaru whispered, his face inches from mine. "Every step is a point of aura. Every rival you humiliate is a stack of rizz. If you want to survive the end of the world, you have to stop playing the game and start owning the server."

Subaru began to bang the pot again, the Tung-Tung sound vibrating through my very soul. I realised then that my 1,001st life wouldn't be a heroic epic. It was going to be an expensive, chaotic, and high-speed ascent to the top of a staircase that never ended.

I looked at the pouch of crystals Luca had left. I looked at the crazed monster walking on air.

"Alright," I said, a slow smirk forming on my face. "Let’s start the climb."