Chapter 63: Light of a New Future (Alex)

The last nurse leaves my room. Leaving me alone in my candlelit chambers with bandages covering my body and left eye. I wince as I touch the left side of my face, my hand retreating as it shakes. Only for it to calm down as I place my other hand on top of it. I should know better, the wounds are fresh and should be left alone. However, with the world settling down and the responsibility to lead on my shoulders again. The duel seems like a distant memory.
Already, my new life has hit me across the head. Like a hammer striking stone. It is a lot more difficult to see with only one eye, and I don’t want to imagine what sort of struggles I will face later on in life. I can’t help but chuckle. It’s funny to think that this is the first thing that will come to mind and not the mess I have to help clean up afterwards.
Though again, even when it takes time to rebuild, I need to organise a few plans, arrange funerals and attend them. I have to be the leader I promised everyone. It feels… too much. I have to be more than just a simple ruler; I have to make myself an idea. A dream of a world we all wanted, a future that I think is almost unattainable. What can I even do to make that a reality? Is it even possible? What can I possibly do to make myself an example when I started this mess and caused untold suffering?
The bandages around my hands tighten, and my knuckles ache. Even when she died hours ago. A part of me likes the fact that she is dead. Yet her death, how I killed her and the way I killed her. It feels wrong! To turn her face into a pile of pounded meat. Thankfully, the rain washed away her brain matter from my hands, but it can’t wash away the guilt. I turned into a monster, I became something I shouldn’t. I killed like Marak! Using brute strength and brutality to slaughter someone I despise. It shouldn’t happen, yet I let it so. Can I really make things right when I am capable of that?
‘How are you doing?’ A voice came from behind. I turn to my left, only to turn to my right when I realise I can’t see them. As they get into view, my face lights up as Syndy walks in wearing a white nightgown. Something better than black.
‘Better… I guess.’
Syndy raises a brow as she approaches me. ‘You guess?’
‘Well, I did lose an eye.’ Syndy groans as I point that out, like she forgot about my injury. But I know she didn’t mean it out of malice; it seems like a little mistake. ‘But yes, I am feeling better. Just… well. I’m just a little tired.’
She sits to my right before resting her hand on my own. ‘After today, I think we all are.’
I smirk. I suppose everyone is exhausted. The day started as I talked to Simon about farming when winter is dying down, only for a coup to happen and end on the same day. To call it eventful is an understatement. It is perhaps the most full day I have ever had in my life. I am just glad it is finally over, and that I can finally sleep.
‘What do you think tomorrow will be like?’ I ask her.
‘Calmer, I think things will get better when we start fixing things and reorganising once more. The Cinari will be free, no more slaves, no more masters. We will all be equals.’
‘Yeah, I just hope things don't get worse afterwards.’
Syndy smiles at me, yet it dies down as soon as it forms. ‘What about Marak? What will you do if he comes back?’
Oh, him. In truth, I don’t know what I can do. I can’t fight him because I will not have the support to back me. I shouldn’t risk our people like that. However, I can’t surrender power either because I know what he is and what he will do. He is a risk, a dangerous monster that shouldn’t have power.
‘I’ll think of something, I promise. But no matter what, we will maintain our freedoms and theirs. If I have to fight for the Cinari, I will do it without hesitation.’
She gives me a nod; she knows what I mean and what I intend. I have to kill him, I have to kill my father. If peace can exist between anyone after this war, he has to go. I am not sure how, but I will think of something.
‘Whatever happens, just know I will support you.’
‘I know. And I love that about you. Even if we never agree on everything.’