Epilogue: Luxury in Chains (Volas)

People like the idea of heroes, but none of them want to meet them. Many have met me at parties and festivals since the war concluded. But besides seeing a proud man who won a war, the only thing they get is a man full of shame and regret. It is a national holiday to celebrate the defeat of the Dogs once a year. But the only person who will not smile during that dreadful day will be me. I can’t celebrate that day, not when so many have died under my command.
I’m alone. Standing over her grave with a few flowers in hand. She wanted to be a gardener. I’m not sure what she likes, but I hope she appreciates the thought behind the design of this war memorial park.
The memorial outside of Tundo is one of the last memorials built after the war. The resting place for hundreds who died fighting against the Dogs. Tundo is still damaged. The wounds of the war are as fresh as ever, even years after the war and when it burned down. The memorial is built first before the repairs are organised. Funny, the veterans still alive are ignored in favour of the dead. I just hope they get some benefits soon, even if they are small.
It will be there where Hannah is reburied. She died in the capital when we escaped through the webgate. A simple arrow through her back and heart. But it will be here where she really died, the city she tried to defend and where she saved my life. I only wish I could do the same.
The place is empty. I am the only person here to pay respects to the fallen. Being the former General, I was given the opportunity to name and design every memorial. There’s Kaval, Benston, Handcock, and I even have a memorial to honour the Dogs. It made me unpopular, but the benefits of a General salary and being given a plot of land gave me some privileges which I can exercise. Our foe fought well; they should be remembered for it.
But this place is important. I named it after her. Hannah might call me a weird or a sad sack for naming a memorial after her. However, I hope she appreciates that I modelled the place after her likeness. Hedges and archways of green turn what should be a morbid sight into something warm and comforting, with roses populating every tombstone and name. It is standard to have memorials to be covered in stone and lifeless, but I don’t want hers to be that. Life should populate near every gravestone. I want flowers to hug every plaque like a mother embracing their child. Their bodies are now of the earth, their souls loyal to our Empire. This place should be good for them.
No matter how painful the memories are, every time I set foot in this place. I smile. I smile because everyone buried here, every soldier under my command, every civilian I swore to defend, gets a resting place they deserve. A memorial shouldn’t be a place to be bitter about war or be in triumph about our victory. It should be a place to remember what we have lost and understand for future generations.
With a heavy breath, I place my flowers by Hannah’s tombstone. ‘It’s been two years since the war ended.’ I put my hands together, my fingers intertwining with one another like I am about to pray. ‘It never gets easy, it never does. I always see you every time I dream. You died so long ago, but that moment always feels like it happened yesterday. There are moments I just want to cry, bawl my eyes out every time you pop into my mind. Even the sight of medium-rare steak causes my body to shudder as it looks eerily similar to flesh torn apart by light spears. Then there are moments where I just couldn’t care anymore. Like my body is detached from the world.’
I reach for my pocket to pull out a black medal with a silver Dog skull at the centre. A reward given to me for my leadership over the Dog threat. They say it is made with their black armour.
Most were happy to get their medals from the Empress. When I got mine, I struggled to even look at or acknowledge it. My victory medal is just a painful reminder of all the death and my moral failings.
‘I haven’t heard from Huson.’ I continue to talk to her. ‘He and Jack went to Thesia together. The last I heard was that Jack was getting sicker and weaker. I just hope he is doing well. I hope both of them are doing well.’
‘But no, that isn’t why I’m here. I think it is best that I say what is really on my mind. I regret everything I’ve done. The last Dog on this island died, and the ones I’ve allowed to escape were never heard from again. I prayed, I begged for our Gods to give me a sign, anything! To tell me that they are okay or alive. But I heard nothing. I think… I know I have to accept the reality that they’ve died out at sea.’
My chest becomes light, like it needs to let go of that burden. I rub my thumb along the medal, pressing hard against the skull. ‘The war was a mistake. It should’ve never happened. There was nothing right about any of it! I was loyal, no, a participant. I allowed the extermination of a people because I was a coward. If I had to choose again, I should’ve helped them. This war could’ve ended peacefully. It didn’t need so many people to die! But I was blinded, my heart clouded with rage.’
I place my medal on top of her tombstone. ‘I never deserved this. You deserve the reward more than I. They will put me down as one of the greatest Generals. Yet, I never see myself as one. The Empire gave me a position because we were desperate, and because I was impressionable. How can I wash away the blood from my hands and move on from the guilt? The shame of it all? Perhaps there is no point to it. Maybe I deserve to carry this unbearable guilt. Our people, a hundred years from now, will look back and judge me fairly. I hope they find the truth about what caused this war and how it should’ve been avoided. To think that I will be seen as a hero forever will only wound me, for I only deserve judgment.’
One last thing, I reach for my jacket pocket to pull out a letter. The one Olivia’s mother gave me. I should’ve taken it with me and given it to Olivia before we left, yet I forgot to take it with me. It is a reminder of a promise I’ve made. One that I fail to keep. But one day, maybe soon. An opportunity will arise where I can do better. For now, I carry it with me. It is tempting to read the letter to Hannah again, but I think I should leave. The dead need rest. They earned it.
‘A surprise to see you here.’
With a groan, I turn to face the Shaman. ‘What do you want?’
‘Is that how you greet everyone?’ He gestures to my black jacket. ‘I see you are joining the Foreign Inspectors. Congratulations on your enrollment.’
‘You’re not here to talk, witch. What do you want?’ I don’t want to hear anything he has to say. Calling the Dogs Cinari, yet did fuck all to prevent a genocide from under his nose.
‘I want to get what I’ve given you…’
I reach under my shirt to pull out the necklace. Its blue gem radiates a power as I take it off. ‘This? You want this?’ I chuck the necklace at his feet. ‘Take it! I no longer need it.’
‘You should speak in a proper tone, Volas.’
‘It is Inspector to you! You will address me as such.’
The Shaman frowns. He didn't bother to look at the necklace between his feet. ‘I don’t deserve this sort of treatment, Inspector. In case you forgot, I also participated in the war as a mediator and prevented some of the worst atrocities.’
‘Shut up!’
‘Excuse me?’
‘I said, shut up!’ I stomp towards the coward. ‘You didn’t do anything during this war. All you did was sit on a fence and claim superiority over everyone else. What did you prevent? Nothing! You couldn’t prevent the Dogs dying en masse on this island.’
‘They all fell victim to a plague…’
‘That only targets them!?’ I spat, my voice hot with anger. ‘You can’t be this fucking stupid to not understand what was going on. What was happening! Neutral my ass. You allowed them to...’
Before I can finish, a force of energy wraps around my chest and slams me to the ground. My hands instinctively try to pull off whatever is on top of me as it pushes down and squeezes the air from out of my lungs. But there was nothing there.
‘It was a plague that killed the Dogs on this island. There is evidence to prove it.’
I groan, using every ounce of strength to speak. ‘Liar… you knew…’
Come on! Kill me! Do something for once besides watching everyone die. You could’ve stopped this war, ended it before it even started. Advocating for peace, demanding treatment, anything! But you don’t care. You never did, ever since you barged into the war room four years ago. All you wanted to do was to make yourself look good, keep your hands clean from all the filth and blood that soaks my hands!
The Shaman frowns and shakes his head. With a flick of his wrist, the pressure on my chest disappears. I gag and wheeze, rolling to my side to regain my bearings.
‘I did what was necessary, Inspector.’ He reaches down to pick up the necklace. ‘The same with how you did your job, fighting the Dogs. We all have to play parts in a larger role. You know I can’t just deviate from it.’
‘The Dogs were slaves, and yet they deviated from that path.’ I glare at him. I want him to see my anger. ‘You have no excuse. You chose to do nothing because it was comfortable, not because it was right.’
‘Really, you want to throw that at me? You fought against them. What does that make you?’
‘Wrong.’
He frowns at my response. He can see the point now. No matter what sort of argument they will make or try to use my service against me. I am brave enough to acknowledge that I am wrong. I can show remorse, guilt, and shame. The Shaman can’t. He lived for too long and without any responsibility. A man from the Forgotten Era, someone who should have all the wisdom in the world. It's no different from the idiot down the street. All of that power, yet he chose to do nothing. He is worse than a coward. He is a centrist with no backbone.
Without saying anything, he turns and walks away. Leaving me alone in my own pool of misery. There isn’t a point to continue the conversation. It is best that we go our separate ways and never see each other ever again.
I crawl to lie next to Hannah’s tombstone to watch the sunset. I want to be with her as the day comes to an end, just for this moment.
Clink, clank, rattle.
My body cringes as the stone chips and breaks apart in the distance. Even near the end of the day, people still work to repair the city that was burned down.
Looking back at what my Empire is and what it has become. It makes me think about how it survived for so long, how it allowed itself to continue being a superpower that brought the world to its knees. Not as its protector, but a bully wanting to do whatever it desires.
Perhaps it was the Dragon Fleet and the weapons of the Forgotten Era, maybe for a time it was the reason as to why we were dominant, but I don’t think that is the case anymore. No, I think the case for our power is of a sinister nature. Deception. We lie, cheat, and refuse to remember the things we do because it is comfortable. Rewriting history to make us the heroes in someone else’s nightmare. The Dogs are the latest victims, as we brought them into a trap under the prospect of peace. Ending the war just like it started, by us being monsters.
It makes me wonder, did the war really come to an end? No, perhaps not. I don’t believe it will have a proper end, not if people like the Shaman are still alive. I can’t tell when it really started, or if there was ever a proper reason for why the slavery of the Dogs needed to continue.
Clink, clank, rattle.
Maybe I will never know for sure. All I can be sure of is our world, this island. It will never be the same again. I have faith that my Empire can change and fix the sins we all committed.
But now, I am unsure if that is even possible. I know I can’t be redeemed. No matter what action someone will take, no matter the amount of good I can do in the world. The sin of genocide and fighting for an institution of evil cannot be forgiven. I won’t allow myself to be forgiven, no matter what someone says. I can’t allow it.
The Dogs are right to call us monsters. They were justified in doubting our position as global defenders of peace. We never gave them anything resembling justice or peace. All we did was make them suffer. I think that is why they were brutal towards my kind. They were only following the example we set. We made them our perfect monsters. Though at the same time, we were their living nightmares. But the war isn’t something that anyone can take victory in, not the common folk, at least, as our moral framework is built on an abhorrent evil.
The Empire has won the war, but we have all lost.
Clink, clank, rattle.