Chapter 3: The Skibidi Sanctum

The "Stairway to Heaven" wasn't just a physical climb; it was a psychological horror show. Each step was enchanted with a Gravity Hex that doubled in weight for every impure thought or moment of hesitation.

Around me, students were collapsing. They were sweating, groaning, and crawling on their hands and knees like NPCs in a glitching simulation.

I, however, was in the zone.

"Keep your tongue on the roof of your mouth, Bodrei! Eyes front! Maintain the hollow cheek look!" Subaru was gliding beside me, his frying pan glowing with a necrotic purple light. "The Dean is watching from the balcony! If he sees you panting, your aura will plummet to Ohio levels!"

"I'm fine, Master," I muttered, my voice a monotone drone. I had spent 1,000 lives learning how to mask my emotions; looking like a cold, unfeeling statue was my specialty. I wasn't just climbing; I was looksmaxxing.

"Stop caping, I see that sweat drop!" Subaru hissed, suddenly appearing upside down in front of my face. "Do you want to be a beta merchant heir forever? Or do you want to be the one who mogs the final boss? Level up your rizz or get out of the server!"

The Siren of the Stairs

Halfway up the ascent, the crowd thinned out. The only people left were the true elites—and one girl who was clearly the "Main Heroine" of this timeline.

Princess Liora. She was the top-ranked student of the previous year, known for her "Holy Grace" and a face that had launched a thousand fan-clubs. She was standing on the 500th step, looking perfectly composed, her long silver hair fluttering in a magical breeze that definitely shouldn't exist indoors.

As I approached, she turned, offering a smile that usually made men drop their weapons and their dignity.

"You're the son of Luca, aren't you?" she asked, her voice like bells. "I saw what you did to Kaelen. It was... impressive. Perhaps we could form a party? Two elites at the top would be—"

I didn't stop. I didn't even blink.

I walked past her with the same energy a human uses to pass a lamp post. My eyes were fixed on the top of the stairs, my expression as blank as a fresh sheet of parchment.

"Wait," she said, her smile faltering. "Did you hear me? I’m Liora of the—"

"Irrelevant," I whispered, the word cutting through the air.

Subaru let out a screech of pure, unadulterated joy. He began to do a backflip on an invisible staircase. "OH MY GOD! HE’S DOING IT! THE ABSOLUTE SIGMA! 1000+ AURA POINTS! LOOK AT HER FACE, BODREI! SHE’S SPIRALLING! YOU JUST MOGGED THE HIGHEST RANKED BEAUTY IN THE ACADEMY!"

[System Notification]

[Event: The Cold Shoulder]

[Result: Princess Liora’s ‘Main Character’ Buff has been neutralized by your sheer lack of interest.]

[Aura Gained: +2,500]

[Current Title: The Stoic Merchant of the Void]

Liora stood frozen, her hand half-extended. No one had ever ignored her. Especially not a "merchant’s son." For me, however, she was just a distraction—a variable I had already calculated and discarded in a hundred previous lives. I wasn't here to play house; I was here to reach Level 9999.

The Final Stretch

As I reached the 900th step, the gravity became so intense that the stone beneath my feet began to crack. The air was thick with the "Tung Tung" sound of Subaru’s pan, which was now vibrating in sync with the Academy’s defense system.

"He's coming," Subaru whispered, his tone suddenly shifting from manic to deadly serious.

At the very top of the stairs, sitting on a throne made of ancient mana-stones, was the Dean of Tung Tung Sahur. He looked down at me, his eyes glowing with a terrifying golden light.

"You," the Dean boomed. "You walk as if the world owes you a debt. You ignore the Princess, you ignore the gravity, and you carry the scent of a thousand deaths. Who is your master, boy?"

I looked up, my eyes meeting his. Behind me, the shadow of the Aura Monster loomed large, a knife-wielding specter of pure brainrot.

"My master is the grind," I said, my voice echoing through the hall. "And I’m here to collect."

[Level Up!]

[Level 2 -> Level 15]

[Skill Unlocked: Staircase-Versal Leap]

[Warning: The Dean is feeling 'Beta' in your presence.]