Can I Please Not Relive My Past?

Excitement in the office made the day pass by swifter than Noriko expected. They all had far too much of an investment in her personal life, she hesitated to call it a dating life just yet. But her coworkers certainly tried to make it seem like it was. It was charming for a little bit and certainly embarrassing. Especially as it dragged out for hours. All the while Maiko was snickering loud enough that she could even hear it through her earbuds.

It certainly made it difficult to continue work. She barely finished her work at the end of the day. She had leftovers from the last week that she wanted to catch up. With luck tomorrow would be better for her. Her special interest on the floor should have died down by then. She prayed. Noriko couldn’t take another day.

Exhaustion made the commute back to her apartment even more draining. She collapsed on the couch even as a knock came to her door. “Maiko…not wasting any time.” A sigh escaped as she pushed herself up.

Walking over to the door, she pulled it open leaning on the edge. It was exactly who she expected. “Come to laugh more or you finally run out of chuckles?”

“Nah, no more laughs.” Noriko squinted her eyes. “Mostly. If you make a joke, no promises.”

“Right…” She pulled back inviting her friend. Noriko walked over to the kitchen looking around for a few snacks. With a few bags of chips, she walked back into the living room as Maiko already plopped herself on the couch.

Maiko leaned her head back as Noriko walked around. “Can’t believe you changed your mind. So you going to explain what happened? Thought you were too scared.”

A grumble came out of her as she didn’t answer until she made it to the warm embrace of the couch. She sighed out loud before remembering to put down the snacks. “I was scared.”

“What changed then? You ain’t holding out on me, girl?”

She sunk into the couch thinking back to the elevator. “I don’t know what was going through my head. Just seeing his face I couldn’t reject him.”

“So you said yes.”

“Apparently.”

“That’s not really a good answer. You just felt bad for him?”

Noriko looked over to Maiko. There wasn’t her joking and playful friend, just a friend. “Maybe, I don’t know. I’ve never even thought of him like that, let alone that he did me.”

“Right, but a date will let you get to know each other.”

“That’s one way to look at it.” It was hard for her to disagree. Hiroyuki was certainly attractive and that appealed to her. But that wasn’t going to be enough. Even she knew as much as he appealed to her, she needed more. She couldn’t be that shallow.

Maiko leaned over on the couch. “You going to explain your whole fear of rejecting him?”

She crossed her arms and turned away. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was just nervous.”

“Girl, I’ve known you for too long to be convinced of that. There’s something eating at you. What’s going on?”

That made her groan again. Anyone else she would have ignored them or laughed it off. However, this was Maiko. She knew what she was talking about. There was no escaping her. She would hassle her all night and even at the office.

Noriko slid down the couch until her butt was almost off the edge. What Maiko asked was something that she had tried to forget. Though unfortunately for her, Hiroyuki dug it up for her. Just the memory was chilling enough for her.

“C’mon, girl. I’m your friend.”

“It’s not a pleasant thing to remember.”

“Now I’m even more interested,” she said with a smirk. Noriko flashed her a dirty look. “C’mon, I’m listening.”

“I know…” She let out a heavy puff of air pouting. “You remember Keiichi Fujiwara?”

There was a bit of a pause from Maiko, likely as she thought about the name. But she perked up. “The guy from high school? Didn’t he have a thing for you? How come you never dated?”

“Because the old chemistry lab blew up.”

Maiko jumped up on the couch coming even closer to her. “Wait, you were involved in the incident in the old West Wing? Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“It’s embarrassing. I’ve tried to forget about it. Having half the faculty yelling at you was bad enough. I’ve tried to block the whole thing out.”

“How’d you blow up the lab and tie this to Hiroyuki? That’s not making any sense?”

That very pointed and logical question only made her try to crawl into the couch more. It felt like the apartment had increased five degrees. Her face felt flush. Her hands pressed over her face to hide.

“Girl, talk!”

She popped up from the cushions. “It’s called trauma, it’s not logical.” And thinking about it wasn’t helping her. Her body already was feeling the stress from the memories.

“So talk.”

“You remember when I was going to meet Keiichi?”

“Not exactly. I know it happened, we didn’t meet that day after school.”

“I went to see him. He was a sweet guy, but I didn’t really know him. So I planned to turn him down.”

“Noriko, the heartbreaker.”

“I’m not! I just didn’t know if I was interested.”

“That’s the point of dating. If you’re attracted, find out more about him. You won’t know if they’re going to work if you don’t talk.”

“Yeah I guess. I just felt having some interactions before dating would be useful. I never met him. Besides class, he was a stranger. I didn’t feel comfortable dating a complete stranger.”

She nodded thinking about the point. “I can see where you’re coming from. Definitely as an adult there is the risk. Though as teens, it shouldn’t be that bad.”

“Can’t help it. Mom continued to insist I not go out with anyone blind. I think the two divorces burned her badly.”

“She has bad taste in men.”

“That too. So I’m overly cautious. It’s not a bad thing.”

“No. But what caused the explosion? You can’t have broken his heart so badly that he went on a berserk fueled rage on the lab. It wasn’t even being used anymore, right?”

Noriko looked down at her feet remembering the day. It took a while for her to move past it. Even more to bury it. Having it come back was painful. But she would have to relive it for Maiko.